


The San Predicament

by rendawnie



Series: Predicaments, Conundrums, and Other Assorted Problems [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Chatting & Messaging, Coffee Shops, Crushes, Fights, First Meetings, Friendship, Fuckboy San, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Lots of dick talk, M/M, Making Up, Memes, Misunderstandings, One Night Stands, PROTECTIVE SQUAD, Past Relationship(s), Secret Relationship, Sexual Humor, Smut, Swearing, Texting, Unreliable Narrator, You've been warned, occasionally, seonghwa and hongjoong are confused, so is jongho, vine references, yungi are gross cute boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2020-06-25 15:49:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 41,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19748866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rendawnie/pseuds/rendawnie
Summary: ooohyoung:omfg fineIMETABOYyeoyeoman:...i’m turning my phone off and going back to bedjoong:what about psych lecture in an houryeoyeoman:What About Itjoong:Understood





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**ooohyoung:**

ATTENTION GAYS

and jongho

**Superbaby:**

Hey :(

**ooohyoung:**

you're literally? straight?

**Superbaby:**

Yeah but like 

I just wanna be part of the group announcements :((

**uno bitches:**

dammit wooyoung you made the baby sad :(

**MaNGo:**

i thought you were the baby, yunho 

my baby (づ￣ ³￣)づ

**uno bitches:**

FAT UWU

THE FATTEST 

**joong:**

affection? in my chat?

**Mars:**

I dont know, I suddenly cant read

**yeoyeoman:**

you fuckers woke me up for this, can we just get to wooyoung's latest cry for attention so i can go back to sleep 

**ooohyoung:**

rude

**joong:**

it's 2 in the afternoon

**yeoyeoman:**

and what of it, tiny

**joong:**

bold words from someone named yeoyeoman

**yeoyeoman:**

listen

**MaNGo:**

but the yeo yeo master did not answer

**yeoyeoman:**

l i s t e n

**uno bitches:**

he just kept on yeo-ing

**Superbaby:**

This family is so fucking dysfunctional 

I thought you were going to change his name, hyung

Y'know, as the sole admin

**joong:**

language

also

i'm getting around to it 

**Mars:**

Hes not

Hes literally just cuddling me

He could be doing anything else

**joong:**

I Could.

**MaNGo:**

yikes

**uno bitches:**

yikes

**Superbaby:**

And this is a platonic relationship?

**yeoyeoman:**

i can't believe i'm about to say this 

but

wooyoung

please save me from this bullshit with your boring story 

you're my only hope

**ooohyoung:**

brb screenshotting that last part 

**yeoyeoman:**

disappointed but not surprised 

**joong:**

anyway

**Mars:**

Anyway

**ooohyoung:**

ANYWAY

_✓ Read_

_✓ Read_

_✓ Read_

_✓ Read_

_✓ Read_

_✓ Read_

**ooohyoung:**

OH MY GOD DOESN’T ANYONE CARE ABOUT ME

**Superbaby:**

No

**MaNGo:**

no

**uno bitches:**

sometimes

**ooohyoung:**

fuck you all

**yeoyeoman:**

i care for exactly the next thirteen seconds

**ooohyoung:**

thank you yeosangie

**yeoyeoman:**

four seconds

**ooohyoung:**

omfg fine

I

MET

A

BOY

**yeoyeoman:**

...i’m turning my phone off and going back to bed

**joong:**

what about psych lecture in an hour

**yeoyeoman:**

What About It

**joong:**

Understood

**uno bitches:**

tell us about the boy!! ≧ω≦

**ooohyoung:**

friendship ended with everyone else

yunho is my best friend now

**Superbaby:**

He literally just implied that he didn’t care about you a minimum of three days out of the week

**MaNGo:**

“implied”

**uno bitches:**

i take it back, im too soft not to care

**MaNGo:**

uwu

**joong:**

uwu

**Mars:**

Uwu

**Superbaby:**

Uwu

**ooohyoung:**

UWU

anyway

i was at the coffeeshop after my first class and he was slut dropping to fifth harmony

he’s the one

**joong:**

......

**Mars:**

...Wooyoung

**Superbaby:**

...Was he BEHIND the counter, or in front of it?

**ooohyoung:**

behind

he’s a barista

The Only Barista Ever

**MaNGo:**

are you sure hes still employed at the coffeeshop now that hes done that

**ooohyoung:**

reasonably

no one stopped him

one girl threw her panties

**uno bitches:**

why do i miss all the good coffeeshop content

**Mars:**

Because you never wake up early enough for it

**MaNGo:**

its true

**joong:**

...anyway

what happened after the slut dropping

does this whore-ista have a name

**ooohyoung:**

EXTRA RUDE

**Superbaby:**

I just choked on my damn tea

**Mars:**

I have no words.

**ooohyoung:**

after the slut dropping he went back to serving drinks of course

it’s his job

as The Only Barista Ever

anyway

i got to the front of the line and ordered my usual

you know, large white chocolate mocha frap with extra caramel and chocolate drizzle plus whipped cream and sprinkles

**Superbaby:**

When will you finally drop dead of junk food intake and put us all out of our misery

**ooohyoung:**

never

pretty sure i’m immortal

**Superbaby:**

We could test that

**uno bitches:**

i am: fully clenched

**MaNGo:**

what

**Mars:**

What

**joong:**

what

**uno bitches:**

what? jonghos kinda hot when hes violent

**Superbaby:**

Aw thanks hyung

**ooohyoung:**

yeah thanks i hate it

**MaNGo:**

i cant tell if i hate it

**ooohyoung:**

ANYWAY

**joong:**

oh my god everyone just shut up and let him tell his god damn story this is cutting into my skincare routine 

**ooohyoung:**

none of you are any fun whatsoever and i won’t forget that

**Mars:**

Story

**ooohyoung:**

*dramatic gay sigh*

**MaNGo:**

STORY

**ooohyoung:**

jesus christ ok

so i ordered my usual and he told me that one day i’d die of junk food consumption 

**Superbaby:**

Good Man

**ooohyoung:**

and i laughed and said i was probably immortal so he shouldn't worry too much and then he wrote his name and number on my cup with his little coffee cup pencil and told me he hoped it didn’t take the rest of forever for me to text him

**uno bitches:**

and

**ooohyoung:**

and that’s it

i have a boy’s number now

**joong:**

that’s Not Unusual

**ooohyoung:**

IT IS WHEN HE’S THE ONLY BOY EVER

**Mars:**

I think youve left something out, Woo

**ooohyoung:**

have i

**Superbaby:**

Yes

**MaNGo:**

yes

**uno bitches:**

yes

**joong:**

ye

**Mars:**

How are we supposed to unfairly judge him and decide hes nowhere near good enough for you if you dont tell us his name

**ooohyoung:**

funny thing

you aren’t

you aren’t going to judge him and decide blahblahblah

**joong:**

as your father, i assure you that we are

**ooohyoung:**

you’re not my dad!

**Mars:**

As your mother, I assure you that we are

**yeoyeoman:**

soedfngsjenfwJN3Rqj3nrkqjTN

**uno bitches:**

see

we always count yeosang rolling over onto his phone in his sleep as a yes

those are the rules and they are unflinchingly rigid

**MaNGo:**

what yunho said

**Superbaby:**

Name, Jung. 

**ooohyoung:**

don’t call me by my last name, that’s too fucking het for me

**Superbaby:**

Quit stalling and maybe I’ll stop

**ooohyoung:**

fine

his name’s choi san and open season on him is NOT ALLOWED

i’m not gonna let you guys ruin this for me with your dumb overprotective routine

**yeoyeoman:**

what the fuck why was satan’s name mentioned in this holy chat

**Mars:**

Im more interested in why his name woke you from one of your famous dead sleeps

**yeoyeoman:**

i have it set to notify me whenever it pops up so that i know to add anyone who says it to my kill list

**ooohyoung:**

what why

**yeoyeoman:**

ask mingi

**joong:**

didn’t you say you were turning your phone off

you couldn’t do it to us could you

s o f t

**yeoyeoman:**

die

softly

**uno bitches:**

wooyoung, you shouldnt mess with san.

please.

its for your own good.

**ooohyoung:**

mingi what’s going on? why does everyone hate san? do you guys know him or something?

**MaNGo:**

we know him

**yeoyeoman:**

We Know Him

**uno bitches:**

i hooked up with him last year, before mingi and i got together

**MaNGo:**

and he once fucked me against the nonfiction aisle in the library

that's *fucked* in both a literal and metaphorical sense

**ooohyoung:**

during business hours?

**MaNGo:**

is that really your main concern

**ooohyoung:**

yeosangie?

**yeoyeoman:**

he’s… he’s hit it and quit it, wooyoung. don’t go there.

we all have, and we suffered for it.

**joong:**

holy shit, does this kid’s dick drip beer or something?

why’s he so popular

**MaNGo:**

the san predicament

**Superbaby:**

The San Predicament?

**uno bitches:**

the san predicament.

**ooohyoung:**

um

**Mars:**

Yikes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

** _E_ _MERGENCY IDIOT PROTECTION SQUAD_ **

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _added_ **_uno bitches_ ** _and_ **_MaNGo_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

uh

ok

so like

we’re not ACTUALLY going to let this happen, right

this whole

san predicament?

i mean

wooyoung’s fragile

it’s only been a year since he and changbin split

he’s not making good decisions

we have to do something

guys

guys

guys

GAYS

**yeoyeoman:**

oh ok

so when i’m finally awake and worried no one else is around

I Get It

**yeoyeoman:**

huh

it just occurred to me that it’s four in the morning

and you have classes first thing

poor life choices, guys

should have done an all afternoon and evening schedule 

then you’d be here right now for me and wooyoung

well

me

**yeoyeoman:**

ugh anyway

just

i’m gonna stay up and analyze this until i figure out how to destroy it

get back to me.

*******

**MaNGo:**

What The Fuck

yeosang your late night breakdowns are so dramatic

yunho isnt even awake yet

hes in my bunk wearing my shirt and drooling a little and i

im very gay for him

so very gay

**MaNGo:**

youre probably the one whos asleep now

but i just wanna put this out there

wooyoung may be stupid at love and lust and boys

but a year is a long time and he got over changbin so i dont think thats really an issue

i dont wanna see him get hurt again either

but we cant treat him like our baby 24/7

thats jongho

jonghos our baby

brb its six am i have to remind our baby to take his vitamins before class

*******

**uno bitches:**

you know, you never told us exactly what happened between you and san, yeosangie

i mean, mingi and i don’t like him much

i wouldn’t recommend him to anyone with a heart

but we don’t hate him like you seem to

i’m CURIOUS

*******

**yeoyeoman:**

you will continue to be curious for the rest of your days

i’m not reliving that

we just have to be united in our mission

our mission to save wooyoung from san’s slutty dick magic

**MaNGo:**

dick magic

**uno bitches:**

d i c k m a g i c

**MaNGo:**

im not gonna lie

that shit was magical

even in the library

getting papercuts on my ass cheeks

magical

**uno bitches:**

reminder that I, Your Boyfriend, am right here

**MaNGo:**

and

**uno bitches:**

and you’re absolutely right as always (︶︹︺)

**MaNGo:**

٩(♡ε♡ )۶

**yeoyeoman:**

disgusting

this is truly whipped culture 

this conversation is bad and you should feel bad

**uno bitches**

and yet

**MaNGo**

And Yet

**yeoyeoman:**

fuckin

anyway

we need a plan

so

go ahead

wow me

**MaNGo:**

yeosangie…

**uno bitches:**

i mean

why not just wait a bit and see what happens?

maybe it won’t even turn into a thing

san never sleeps with the same person twice

he has Rules

what if we just wait and see how wooyoung handles things?

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s putting a lot of trust in a man who inspired the name “idiot protection squad”

**MaNGo:**

that name was all you, if youll recall

**yeoyeoman:**

WE CAN’T WAIT

WE CAN’T EVEN LET IT GET OFF THE GROUND

san doesn’t deserve to lick the soles of the shoes wooyoung walks in

**uno bitches:**

there’s a fetish for that

**yeoyeoman:**

fuck

offffffff

**uno bitches:**

look

i know wooyoung’s your best friend and you’re protective

that’s normal

but you can’t just stop him from having a good time

or even from getting hurt

that’s life

**MaNGo:**

and anyway

do you really think hes going to tell us if anything happens?

after the way things went in the main chat?

no

itll all go down behind our backs

**uno bitches:**

just like wooyoung on san

**yeoyeoman:**

STOP

**MaNGo:**

and if it ends badly we’ll help him pick up the pieces

like friends

not parents

**yeoyeoman:**

parents

PARENTS!

maybe i should talk to hongjoong and seonghwa about this instead

**uno bitches:**

lol

**MaNGo:**

im not sure thatll work out

theyre a little busy ignoring each others heart boners rn

**_yeoyeoman_** _changed the chat name to_ **_TEMPORARILY TEAM SEONGJOONG_**

**MaNGo:**

lol

yeosang

youre kinda going off the rails dude

just leave it alone

**yeoyeoman:**

when have i ever been good at that

especially where wooyoung’s involved

**uno bitches:**

first time for everything

**yeoyeoman:**

i 

this is the only way i know how to show i care, okay?

i can’t tell him i love him and i would die for him and he’s my best friend in the entire world and i wanna tuck him into bed and give him a sippy cup and make all his problems go away

**MaNGo:**

im

**uno bitches:**

Things were said

**MaNGo:**

but were points made

**yeoyeoman:**

i have to keep him away from san

for both our sakes

i’ve helped him through every breakup he’s ever had

and they’re all so rough

seonghwa hyung may be his Mom

but i’m the mom he neither wants nor deserves and i am gonna do my job, dammit

**uno bitches:**

i’m sensing a personal vendetta coming out here

what. did. san. do to you.

**MaNGo:**

we need to know how evil he is

truly

hooking up is one thing

we were young and stupid

**uno bitches:**

we’re still young and stupid

**MaNGo:**

besides the point

as i said

hooking up is one thing

i dont _actually_ hate san

so why do _you_ hate him so much, yeosangie?

**yeoyeoman:**

it doesn’t matter

wooyoung matters

**MaNGo:**

you matter too

**yeoyeoman:**

wow look at the time

mild angst hours are closed

permanently

**MaNGo:**

this isnt healthy

**yeoyeoman:**

neither is Life

**uno bitches:**

mingi i wanna go back to the other chat

it’s happy there

this is the bad place

**yeoyeoman:**

oh my god

youre both the worst

I AM TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING HERE

**MaNGo:**

try harder

**yeoyeoman:**

are you guys in or out?

**MaNGo:**

out

**uno bitches:**

until we have solid reasons to be in

**yeoyeoman:**

Fine.

*******

**yeoyeoman:**

guys

it’s 4am again

i’m sorry.

i shouldn’t have freaked out and gotten so defensive

and i shouldn’t have tried to force you to join my cause

i just figured that since we all have san in common, we’d all feel the same about it

i’m glad you guys didn’t get hurt like i did

honestly i’m not even sure how much of it was my fault

but not all of it was

so

i just can’t in good faith support wooyoung on this

but i wanted you guys to know i’m going to back off for now

okay

good talk.

**yeoyeoman:**

i really gotta switch to morning classes next semester, being alone with your brain at this time of night is a mistake.

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

good talk.

*******

**uno bitches:**

you know 

i just realized 

that you're now the admin of this room

and yet you didn't change your name back from yeoyeoman.

*******

**yeoyeoman:**

i've grown used to it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hey bro

**yeoyeoman:**

sup bro

**ooohyoung:**

hey

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

**ooohyoung:**

hi

hello

**yeoyeoman:**

...hello

**ooohyoung:**

aloha

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m in class, wooyoung.

**ooohyoung:**

i know

i have your schedule memorized

and added to my phone calendar

and alarms set for all your classes

**yeoyeoman:**

…...

you need more friends

**ooohyoung:**

nonsense

i have plenty of friends

but only one best friend

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho?

**ooohyoung:**

shut up

**ooohyoung:**

only one Bestest friend

**yeoyeoman:**

are you twelve

**ooohyoung:**

anyway

sup dude

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung.

i literally just told you i’m in class

you started this conversation

now please continue it before the sound of my professor’s voice puts me to sleep again

**ooohyoung:**

okaaaaaaaaaaay

well

i was just wondering

if you’re mad at me

about

y’know

the whole san thing

**yeoyeoman:**

predicament.

**ooohyoung:**

i wasn’t aware it was an official title

**yeoyeoman:**

it definitely is

patented

published

official

**ooohyoung:**

ok

you didn’t answer me tho :(

**yeoyeoman:**

no, wooyoung. i’m not mad at you.

i’m not sure i’m capable of that.

which actually enrages me

so

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry

i didn’t mean to enrage you with my overwhelming adorableness

**yeoyeoman:**

was this just an excuse to compliment yourself or

**ooohyoung:**

no

originally i was hoping you’d do it for me

**yeoyeoman:**

i know this all has a point

i need to believe it does

so can you please

p l e a s e

get to it.

**ooohyoung:**

honestly that was it

i felt like things got super weird in the group chat when the whole san thing was discussed

**yeoyeoman:**

predicament

**ooohyoung:**

and i just wanted to check in and make sure they weren’t weird between us

The Bestest Friends

**yeoyeoman:**

they get weirder every time you call us that

**ooohyoung:**

why is no one fun anymore

**yeoyeoman:**

because college is killing us all slowly

**ooohyoung:**

not me

i am THRIVING

**yeoyeoman:**

hmm let’s see

it’s 4:45 in the afternoon

all your classes are done for the day

i bet you’re sitting in your room in your pajamas eating oreos straight from the pack and watching dragonball from start to finish for the fiftieth time

would you say 

that is accurate?

**ooohyoung:**

sorry, all i got from that is the fact that you’ve memorized my schedule too ❤️❤️❤️

**yeoyeoman:**

you’re impossible

**ooohyoung:**

impossibly amazing

**yeoyeoman:**

whatever gets you through the night

**ooohyoung:**

masturbation, usually

**yeoyeoman:**

i feel unclean

**ooohyoung:**

anyway

i really just wanted to make sure we were cool

**yeoyeoman:**

we’re always cool

**ooohyoung:**

and maybe talk to you about san a little bit

**yeoyeoman:**

pass

hard pass

**ooohyoung:**

yeosangie

**yeoyeoman:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

i need your help!

**yeoyeoman:**

literally why

i want nothing to do with this

i realize i probably can’t actually stop you from seeing him

but i can refuse to offer any advice or insight

i will not aid and abet the casual destruction of your pure heart by a demon

**ooohyoung:**

that’s dramatic

i’m not that pure hearted

you know

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

that’s not the point

the point is i hate seeing you get hurt

**ooohyoung:**

how do you know i will?

don’t you trust me?

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung…

yes. i do.

with everything but your own love life.

**ooohyoung:**

that’s rich coming from you

the only reason i’m here, at this university, is because you had a bad breakup and needed me to come save you from yourself

i came here _for you_ and now you’re trying to stop me from being happy

**yeoyeoman:**

first of all, fuck you for that

**ooohyoung:**

accepted

**yeoyeoman:**

second

i’m NOT trying to stop you from being happy

i don’t think san is capable of making anyone happy for longer than one night

**ooohyoung:**

how do you know

you never told me anything about him

never even heard his name come up

i had no idea you hooked up with him so how could you possibly have expected me to avoid him?

**yeoyeoman:**

I DIDN’T

i

i was hoping it would just never happen

but now it has and me (and mingi and yunho) have an opportunity to save you from him and i know you’re not going to let us, but could you please just let us?

**ooohyoung:**

according to mingi and yunho, they aren’t involved in your little crusade

**yeoyeoman:**

excuse you, my crusade is GIGANTIC

girthy, even

thicc

a thicc ass crusade

**ooohyoung:**

oh my god

**yeoyeoman:**

i said what i said

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t want to know anything about your girth

nothing

**yeoyeoman:**

welp

**ooohyoung:**

look, maybe you should just tell me what happened

between you and san?

i can come over if it’s a long story

i can bring chocolate and booze

**yeoyeoman:**

will knowing honestly change your mind?

**ooohyoung:**

did san murder a member of your immediate family?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

then probably not

**yeoyeoman:**

then there’s no point

**ooohyoung:**

except you finally getting over it

**yeoyeoman:**

sounds fake

**yeoyeoman:**

if you really want to know, why not just ask san when you hang out

y’know, since you’re obviously going to ignore our good advice and do that

**ooohyoung:**

oh ok

sure

i’ll wait for the right moment

right when he’s about to stick it in

then i’ll just

“hey, not to kill the vibe, but what the fuck did you do to my best friend and why is he being such a phenomenal asshat about me seeing you”

**yeoyeoman:**

thank you

i am phenomenal

**ooohyoung:**

guess selective reading runs in this friendship

listen

fine

i’ll

i’ll think about it some more, okay?

i’ll really consider everything before i decide whether to text san

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

that’s good

but

you’ll probably still do it anyway, huh

**ooohyoung:**

you didn’t witness the slut dropping, yeosang.

it was

spiritual

transcendent

**yeoyeoman:**

please no

just promise me one thing

**ooohyoung:**

?

**yeoyeoman:**

don’t keep it a secret, okay? not from me

if you do decide to go out with him, you can tell me

i won’t be mad

**ooohyoung:**

you won’t?

**yeoyeoman:**

ok i probably will

but i won’t show it

i’ll just scream into a pillow for an hour or two every time you talk about it

**ooohyoung:**

The College Experience

**yeoyeoman:**

right

**yeoyeoman:**

but seriously

it doesn’t matter if i’m mad or not

i want to know

**ooohyoung:**

it matters to me.

i hate upsetting people, especially you.

**yeoyeoman:**

have you ever upset me for longer than like ten minutes since we were kids

**ooohyoung:**

first time for everything

**yeoyeoman:**

love that Positive Thinking **™**

**ooohyoung:**

are you still in class

**yeoyeoman:**

prof kicked me out for being on my phone

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry

**yeoyeoman:**

can’t say i am

**ooohyoung:**

you wanna meet me at the cafeteria for a slice of pizza?

**yeoyeoman:**

i have a better idea

i’ll order us a pizza and you can bring over your stupid dragonball dvds so we can binge

fuckin friendship and shit

**ooohyoung:**

i think i got a warm and fuzzy chub just reading that

**yeoyeoman:**

i guess i’m not the only girthy motherfucker here

**ooohyoung:**

i love us

**yeoyeoman:**

we’re the best

**ooohyoung:**

see you in 20?

**yeoyeoman:**

door’s open.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**joong:**

babe can you call me?

i can’t find my phone and i’m gonna be late

**joong:**

……

why did i just get six phone calls in thirty seconds

**uno bitches:**

wait

**Superbaby:**

Wait

**yeoyeoman:**

who

**MaNGo:**

whomst

**ooohyoung:**

whomst’ve

**Mars:**

Joong

This is the group chat

**joong:**

i

**uno bitches:**

oh my god

**ooohyoung:**

BRO I’M FUCKING DEAD

**MaNGo:**

WHOS THE REAL BABE HYUNG

WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS US

WHAT IS THE T R U T H

**Superbaby:**

To be fair I only glanced at it and thought it said baby

I assumed it was me

**uno bitches:**

uwu

**ooohyoung:**

uwu

**MaNGo:**

U W U ( ´༎ຶㅂ༎ຶ`)

**joong:**

can we just forget this happened

**yeoyeoman:**

absolutely not

who’s the babe 

**Superbaby:**

I can’t help but notice that Seonghwa hyung is remarkably quiet

**Mars:**

Dont

**joong:**

please no

**uno bitches:**

holy shit 

it’s seonghwa

seonghwa’s the babe

**Mars:**

***** Seonghwa hyung

**ooohyoung:**

HE ONLY RESORTS TO SEMANTICS WHEN HE’S TRYING TO HIDE SOMETHING

SEONGHWA’S THE BABE

**joong:**

whatever

bros call each other babe

it’s totally a thing

it like

happens

**MaNGo:**

yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

yes mingi

**MaNGo:**

have you ever

even just once in your life

called me 

babe

**yeoyeoman:**

i have not

i have Dignity

**ooohyoung:**

no you don’t

**yeoyeoman:**

i’ll kill you

**ooohyoung:**

noted

**Mars:**

I like Hongjoongs idea

The one where we forget this ever happened

**joong:**

right

i’m fuckin smart

**uno bitches:**

hey hyung

what are you late for

precisely

**joong:**

seonghwa and i are going to the resale shop

i need a lamp

then we’re gonna get dinner, i guess

**Superbaby:**

And this is a platonic relationship?

**Mars:**

Yes

**joong:**

sure

**Mars:**

Hongjoongs made it quite clear that Im not his type

**joong:**

i never

that’s not what i

seonghwa

**yeoyeoman:**

mingi and yunho just knocked on my door

they have popcorn

freshly popped

please continue

*chinhands*

**Superbaby:**

I’m starting to feel like we’re invading their privacy, guys

**ooohyoung:**

they invaded our gay sanctuary with their drama

leave some popcorn for me i’m on my way 

**Superbaby:**

Wait now I just feel left out :(

**uno bitches:**

come over

there’s room left on yeosang’s bed

**yeoyeoman:**

there isn’t but come over anyway

we love a messy gay meltdown

*******

**Superbaby:**

It’s been 20 minutes

The least you two could do would be to finish your messy gay meltdown where we can all see it, since you started it here

**ooohyoung:**

honestly

i feel cheated

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho’s sitting on my spine

i can’t feel anything

*******

**Mars:**

Oh

Sorry guys

Hongjoong found his phone and we went shopping

**ooohyoung:**

and then?

**Mars:**

And then nothing

**Superbaby:**

Bullshit

I haven’t been sitting in Yeosang’s room watching Mingi and Yunho suck face for two hours for nothing

You give me some hot god damn tea right now

**yeoyeoman:**

please don’t get angry, i think it just turns yunho on

**Superbaby:**

Disgusting

**Mars:**

Were just finishing up dinner

Thats all

**ooohyoung:**

dinner where

**Superbaby:**

Is it dimly lit

**yeoyeoman:**

romantic, perhaps?

**joong:**

that little cafe mingi recommended me

when he comes up for air tell him it was a good rec

**MaNGo:**

i came up for air and now i cant breathe

you and hyung are at the cafe i took yunho to when i confessed

the one where they have a couples menu

a date night menu, even

**Superbaby:**

At the risk of over-repeating myself, this is a platonic relationship? 

**joong:**

it’s not a date

**ooohyoung:**

who paid

**Mars:**

Hongjoong did

**yeoyeoman:**

and why did he do that

**joong:**

because i asked seonghwa out

to help me pick a lamp

**Superbaby:**

Hot take: that last sentence was irrelevant and I move we strike it from the record

“Because I asked Seonghwa out” is really all that matters

**yeoyeoman:**

one point to the hets

**joong:**

IT’S NOT A DATE

**ooohyoung:**

and none for hongjoong byeeeeeeeeeee

**Mars:**

Abrupt subject change

Wooyoung

Have you texted San yet?

**ooohyoung:**

who?

**uno bitches:**

wooyoung, you don’t have to lie to us

**ooohyoung:**

i’m not

i don’t know a sam

**MaNGo:**

this is upsetting

**yeoyeoman:**

woo, we talked about this

it’s fine

i’m fine with it

**Superbaby:**

I can feel you quaking underneath me

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s because i can’t feel my extremities, jongho

not because i’m having any sort of reaction to this topic

**Superbaby:**

Sure buddy

**ooohyoung:**

honestly guys, i don’t even care about texting san.

i’ll find another san.

similar, but less of an emotional terrorist.

i guess.

**joong:**

wooyoung

you only use that many periods when you’re sad

**ooohyoung:**

oh go back to your date, tiny

**Mars:**

Its not a date

**uno bitches:**

and i don’t have my hand down mingi’s pants 

**yeoyeoman:**

HAVE YOU NO SHAME

I WILL MAKE YOU BOTH DEEP CLEAN AND REUPHOLSTER THAT COUCH I SWEAR TO GOD

**uno bitches:**

shame is for the weak

*******

**MaNGo:**

so yeosang kicked us out of his room

**Mars:**

All of you?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

just the two who can’t keep their hands to themselves

**uno bitches:**

he took our popcorn

**yeoyeoman:**

hoe tax

**ooohyoung:**

lol fuck

**joong:**

listen, wooyoung

if you need to talk to someone who isn’t weirdly biased against this san person, seonghwa and i are always available

**ooohyoung:**

that’s because you’re always together

**Mars:**

Irrelevant

**Superbaby:**

*The Most Relevant

**joong:**

can you please

i’m trying to impart some dadly wisdom or whatever

**Superbaby:**

Not a real word

**joong:**

son, i love you, but shut the fuck up

**Superbaby:**

Yes father

**joong:**

good

anyway

what was i saying

**Mars:**

You hadnt gotten very far, Joongie, but I think what you were going for was basically

We would be happy to give you advice if you need it

By we I mean Hongjoong and I

Not these other heathens

**Superbaby:**

Hey :(

**Mars:**

Not these other heathens

(And Jongho)

**ooohyoung:**

everyone’s making such a big deal out of this

he’s just a guy

plenty of guys in the sea

right?

**yeoyeoman:**

i hope they have gills

**ooohyoung:**

what

**MaNGo:**

what

**Mars:**

Helpful.

**ooohyoung:**

guys it’s fine

the situation is under control

i’ll just forget about sam and his incandescent slut drops

see

i’ve already forgotten his name

**Superbaby:**

This is becoming Not a Good Look

**ooohyoung:**

i’m just trying to do what you guys want me to do!

i was trying not to talk about san AT ALL

but no

you goaded me into it

so now i’m trying to move on from my wet dreams

and i can’t do that either??

like???

**yeoyeoman:**

okay okay

everyone just stop

it’s getting confusing and wooyoung is doing that thing where he compulsively cleans to avoid his own feelings

i don’t like when people move my stuff

if it’s all over the place i always know exactly where it is

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

please get laid

i could crack this washcloth in HALF

**yeoyeoman:**

was that one hundred percent necessary

**Mars:**

Yeosang

Babe

No

**uno bitches:**

so yeosang IS the babe…

**Mars:**

IM THE BABE YOU TAKE THAT BACK

**joong:**

seonghwa

**Mars:**

Fuck

**Superbaby:**

...And this is a platonic relationship?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

are you up

**ooohyoung:**

i just uh

wanted to say hi

**ooohyoung:**

hi

**ooohyoung:**

hi

**ooohyoung:**

hi

**_don’t tell yeosang i made this chat room_ **

**_ooohyoung_** _added_ ** _uno bitches_** _and_ **_MaNGo_**

**ooohyoung:**

hey guys i’m about to text san

wish me luck

hope you’re sleeping good

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**_ooohyoung_ ** _added_ **_Superbaby_ **

**ooohyoung:**

good morning

hello

i’m texting san now

if you don’t hear from me in 24 hours assume i got dicked to death and i died happy

**_mom and dad and me_ **

**_ooohyoung_ ** added **_joong_ ** and **_Mars_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hi 

don’t tell yeosang this chat exists please

i’m going to text san finally

bout to get that succ

or give it

that seems more accurate

**joong:**

it’s five in the fucking morning what’s wrong with you

**ooohyoung:**

i had to wait until yeosang was asleep

**joong:**

why

you could have just not told him

or any of us for that matter

i’m assuming you made secret chats with everyone else besides yeosang

**ooohyoung:**

bold of you to assume i have any sense at all when this is the decision i’ve come to

also

how did you know that

**joong:**

because you’re an idiot

a loveable idiot

but an idiot

**ooohyoung:**

aw thanks hyung i’m touched

wait

if it’s five in the morning, why are YOU awake?

**joong:**

can’t sleep

too busy replaying all the things i’ve ever said to seonghwa that made him think i wasn’t deadass in love with him over and over on a loop in my head

**ooohyoung:**

maybe you should tell him how you feel

i’m pretty sure he feels the same way

**joong:**

i can’t, wooyoung

what if i ruin our friendship

what if we date for a while and it’s great or whatever

and then something happens and we stop dating

and then we stop being friends too

he’s my best friend

**ooohyoung:**

yeah but

what if you miss out on some great shit along the way?

all the stuff that comes along with dating

would you rather regret missing out on that, or regret that it happened but still smile

besides

you and hyung are like

soulmates

i don’t think you could ever stop being in each other’s lives

**joong:**

jesus

stop being so wise

i can’t handle it

**ooohyoung:**

i’m always wise, hyung

you just gotta give me a chance

:)

**joong:**

reminder that it’s five in the morning and you’re about to text a boy

for sex

a boy who probably isn’t even awake and won’t be awake until yeosang is also awake and having a breakdown over you texting said boy

**ooohyoung:**

i didn’t actually tell him

that’s how wise i am

and it’s not for sex

yet

i just wanna hang out with san first

i don’t want this to be a one-time thing

**joong:**

yeosang’ll find out, woo 

it probably won’t be long until he does

**ooohyoung:**

then i guess i better get a move on if i wanna ride san into the sunset before my overprotective, ridiculous-ass best friend discovers what i’m up to

**joong:**

this saga is so confusing

you’re fucking him

you’re not fucking him

yeosang doesn’t know

yeosang knows

how do you even keep up

**ooohyoung:**

it’s a struggle, honestly

**Mars:**

Please shut the fuck up and let me sleep

**ooohyoung:**

put your phone on silent?

**Mars:**

What if I miss something important

**ooohyoung:**

you can’t have it both ways, hyung

s u f f e r

**joong:**

this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you

**Mars:**

No I love him

I just want him to need my advice quieter

**joong:**

babe, i got this

put your phone on silent like wooyoung said and get some rest

**Mars:**

Okay

Night Joongie

Night Wooyoungie

**ooohyoung:**

i

**joong:**

not the time or place, son

**ooohyoung:**

fine

but

it’s coming

it’s coming, hyung

**joong:**

Consider Me Ready.

**_Mars_ ** _has been removed from the chat_

**_ooohyoung_ ** _added_ **_Mars_ **

**joong:**

smooth

**ooohyoung:**

nothing like a good clean slate, right hyung?

*******

**_hi!_ **

**_ooohyoung_ ** _added_ **_sanshine_**

**ooohyoung:**

hi

i hope you don’t mind that i added you as a friend on here

when i put your number in my phone it linked your username

so i thought this would be easier

anyway

hi

it’s wooyoung

from the coffeeshop?

it’s been a while i guess so hopefully you remember me

sorry to text you at such a weird time but

i was up

um

okay

i hope to hear from you soon!

**_don’t tell yeosang i made this chat room_ **

**ooohyoung:**

ohhhhhhhgod i fucking tanked it

already

it’s already over

help me

i crave death

**ooohyoung:**

hope you’re sleeping good

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

i’m so FUCKING stupid

**_mom and dad and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

LKSAKFJAKFJALFKJA;LSKFJALKFJADLKFJALDSKFJALSKFJALSDKFJALSKFJASLDKFJALDSKFJJASL;KDFALSKFNADLSKFJALKDSFJALSKFJASL;DKFJASLKFJALSKDFJALKSDFJALSKFJAL;SDKFJALSKFJASLDKFJASLKDFJASLDKFJSLDKFJALSKFJ

*******

**_hi!_ **

**sanshine:**

oh hey

of course i remember you

i never forget a hot boy ;)

**sanshine:**

and neither do you, apparently

thinking about me at

5:22am

hmm?

**ooohyoung:**

whoa

i didn’t expect you to reply right now

i wasn’t

um

do you actually remember me, or is that just a line?

**sanshine:**

my lines are better than that, sweetheart.

**ooohyoung:**

haha cool

**sanshine:**

uh huh

**ooohyoung:**

what are you doing up this early, anyway

**sanshine:**

just leaving work

least now i have company on the walk home

**ooohyoung:**

you work until 5am??

wait

the coffeeshop is open 24 hours?

**sanshine:**

nah different job

**ooohyoung:**

jeez

when do you sleep

**sanshine:**

when i can

**ooohyoung:**

that sounds shitty.

**sanshine:**

we all gotta make a living, right?

**ooohyoung:**

i guess so

**sanshine:**

i haven’t seen you in the coffeeshop for a while

you avoiding me? ;)

**ooohyoung:**

NO!

of course not

i’m just

busy

**sanshine:**

uh huh

well you should stop in again soon and visit me

maybe after hours

**ooohyoung:**

actually

i was sort of hoping we could hang out _not_ in the coffeeshop sometime

like

somewhere different

**sanshine:**

...like the chemistry lab?

it’s alright in there

tables are a bitch to clean, though

**ooohyoung:**

what?

no

not the chemistry lab

**sanshine:**

choir practice room?

**ooohyoung:**

i

**ooohyoung:**

i was thinking maybe like

your place

or mine

**sanshine:**

oh

yeah okay

that works too

**ooohyoung:**

why would we hang out in the choir room

**sanshine:**

acoustics.

**ooohyoung:**

……

ok

**sanshine:**

anyway

did you want to stop by tonight?

i need some beauty rest first, it’s like my one day off from all my shit

i can make sure my roommate is gone

**ooohyoung:**

you sure you want to waste your one night off on me?

**sanshine:**

doubt it would be a waste

**sanshine:**

we can check out the new season of queer eye

jvn is god

**ooohyoung:**

i haven’t even seen the old seasons of queer eye

what’s a jvn

**sanshine:**

i’ve changed my mind

i can neither netflix nor chill with someone who doesn’t recognize the almighty jonathan van ness as their personal lord and savior

**ooohyoung:**

i wasn’t trying to netflix and chill

i just wanted to talk

**sanshine:**

we’re talking now, aren’t we?

**ooohyoung:**

i guess

we could talk more later, too

in person

**sanshine:**

sounds interesting

**ooohyoung:**

it does?

**sanshine:**

sure

i can make dinner

even whip up one of your regular orders from the shop for after

strawberry frap with no whip, right?

**ooohyoung:**

…..

no, that’s not me.

**sanshine:**

oh

i know

that was just a test

you passed

**ooohyoung:**

ok

**sanshine:**

i know you like your whipped cream extra

right

**ooohyoung:**

i do

**sanshine:**

perfect

that’s how i like it too.

**ooohyoung:**

okay

you’re a hundred percent positive you remember me?

**sanshine:**

i remember you!

dark hair, skin of a bronzed god

round glasses that are totally fake and just a fashion statement

elmo laugh

**ooohyoung:**

oh my god

you DO remember me

**sanshine:**

told ya

**ooohyoung:**

it’s not an elmo laugh

**sanshine:**

it’s an elmo laugh

**ooohyoung:**

is not!

**sanshine:**

shit’s high pitched as fuck, dude

like

how much higher can your voice even get, tho ;)

**ooohyoung:**

um

i

well

**sanshine:**

see you tonight, wooyoung who likes his large white chocolate mocha fraps with extra caramel drizzle and sprinkles.

**ooohyoung:**

okay

**_mom and dad and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

LKSAKFJAKFJALFKJA;LSKFJALKFJADLKFJALDSKFJALSKFJALSDKFJALSKFJASLDKFJALDSKFJJASL;KDFALSKFNADLSKFJALKDSFJALSKFJASL;DKFJASLKFJALSKDFJALKSDFJALSKFJAL;SDKFJALSKFJASLDKFJASLKDFJASLDKFJSLDKFJALSKFJ

**ooohyoung:**

oh cool my phone knows to auto-suggest that now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY... ISH*

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

is everything ok?

what were you even doing up at 5am, anyway?

**yeoyeoman:**

woo?

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung?

_Are you sure you want to mute this chat? [_ **_Yes_ ** _or No]_

**_TEMPORARILY TEAM SEONGJOONG_ **

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_WHERE IS WOOYOUNG_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

see title

**uno bitches:**

i dunno

**MaNGo:**

havent heard from him *shrug*

**_LOOKING FOR MY IDIOT_ **

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _added_ **_Mars_ ** _and_ **_joong_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

i assume you know what i want

**Mars:**

Why are Hongjoong and I always lumped into chats together like were the same person

**joong:**

i don’t mind it

**Mars:**

Oh

Well

**yeoyeoman:**

habit

do you know what’s up with wooyoung? he messaged me at ass o’clock and now he’s not answering me

haven’t been able to get ahold of him all day

**Mars:**

Whos to say

**yeoyeoman:**

you

you’re to say

you always know what’s going on with everyone

you have The Mom Sense

**Mars:**

I truly dont

You all assigned it to me

I never asked for the Sense

**joong:**

seonghwa

just at a casual guess

how many spare bottles of water and packs of peanut butter crackers would you say you’re carrying around in your messenger bag rn

in case one of your five children gets hungry

**Mars:**

Not relevant

**yeoyeoman:**

ok bye

**_in search of: wooyoung_ **

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _added_ **_Superbaby_ **

**Superbaby:**

What time is it

**yeoyeoman:**

there’s literally?

a clock at the top of your cellular device?

**Superbaby:**

Oh right

Um

7pm?

He’s probably with San

**yeoyeoman:**

WHAT

EXCUSE ME

**Superbaby:**

Yeah he messaged me deadass early this morning and said he was going to text him

Told me not to tell you

**yeoyeoman:**

GSJ:KLE:ISJLEGKSGNGKO:NGSELE

**Superbaby:**

Are you having a seizure

**yeoyeoman:**

MAYBE

WHY WOULD HE

WHY WOULD HE NOT TELL ME

AND TELL YOU

I BET HE TOLD ALL OF YOU

AND YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO ADMITTED IT

CHOI JONGHO

TRUE AND HONEST FRIEND

UNLIKE ALL THESE OTHER BITCHES

**Superbaby:**

I wouldn’t go that far

I just don’t care enough to waste my time lying about it

But you know he didn’t tell you because he was afraid you’d be mad at him 

**yeoyeoman:**

WHY WOULD I EVER

EVER BE MAD AT HIM

HE’S MY STUPID IDIOT LOSER BEST FUCKING FRIEND

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

**Superbaby:**

Um

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m not currently accepting criticism but thanks for asking

**Superbaby:**

Ok

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho he’s going to get HURT

BAD

**Superbaby:**

It happens, Yeosang

He’ll deal with it if it does

**yeoyeoman:**

no, I’LL deal with it

i always deal with wooyoung’s problems for him

**Superbaby:**

No offense, hyung?

But it kind of seems like it’s the other way around most of the time.

**yeoyeoman:**

what

does that mean

**Superbaby:**

Well I mean

He’s only attending this university at all because you needed him post-breakup

Or so I heard

He’s always going out of his way to mitigate your anxiety slash paranoia

Putting his life on hold for you and making it a point to ensure your happiness seems like th

**yeoyeoman:**

I’M NOT CURRENTLY ACCEPTING CRITICISM BUT THANKS FOR ASKING

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

_Do you want to unmute this chat? [_ **_Yes_ ** _or No]_

**yeoyeoman:**

and if you’re lying dead in a gutter somewhere i don’t know if i’ll be able to live with it, wooyoung

this is the longest we’ve ever gone without talking since we were nine years old

i’m sorry for sending all these messages but i’m high key panicking in case you couldn’t tell

i just

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang, i’m fine

stop freaking out

**yeoyeoman:**

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN

**ooohyoung:**

with san

i just got home

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

that’s

cool

**ooohyoung:**

is it?

you don’t sound very cool about anything right now

**yeoyeoman:**

don’t read back through everything i said before

i’m fine

i figured out that i wasn’t having a heart attack, i was just hungry

**ooohyoung:**

ok

**yeoyeoman:**

so uh

did you have

fun

**ooohyoung:**

sure

**yeoyeoman:**

sure?

you don’t sound too enthusiastic

what did san do

**ooohyoung:**

he made me dinner

we watched some episodes of queer eye

**yeoyeoman:**

he COOKED for you?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

he’s pretty good at it, too

**yeoyeoman:**

so you disappeared for 19 hours because you went over to san’s and he cooked for you?

**ooohyoung:**

and introduced me to queer eye

**yeoyeoman:**

you’re a bad gay

“introduced me to”

bad gay

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry lol

**yeoyeoman:**

you seem very calm

too calm

much too calm for just having spent an evening with Satan

**ooohyoung:**

i am calm

what’s there to get all worked up about?

**yeoyeoman:**

EVERYTHING

I SPENT AN EVENING WITH SAN AND HE LITERALLY SHIT INSIDE MY SOUL AND IT STILL FEELS DIRTY IN THERE SOME DAYS

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

gross

**yeoyeoman:**

sorry

but just

this is too surreal

nothing happened?

he didn’t try anything?

**ooohyoung:**

i mean

things happened

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t want to know but also i can’t live without knowing

**ooohyoung:**

that must be confusing for you

**yeoyeoman:**

WOOYOUNG

**ooohyoung:**

we made out a little, alright? is that what you wanted to hear?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

too bad

**yeoyeoman:**

is that it?

**ooohyoung:**

yes

that’s all you get to know

i’m not going to give you any more reasons to want to kill san

**yeoyeoman:**

are you going to see him again?

**ooohyoung:**

i doubt it

**yeoyeoman:**

why not

i thought you liked him

**ooohyoung:**

i do

i did

i don’t know

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung, please talk to me

**ooohyoung:**

are you going to stop acting like a crazy person?

**yeoyeoman:**

i can try

**ooohyoung:**

that’s not very encouraging 

**yeoyeoman:**

alright alright

fine

you seem calm about this

so i can be calm about this

i promise i will not act like a crazy person no matter what it is you tell me

**ooohyoung:**

swear on your skateboard

**yeoyeoman:**

i

**ooohyoung:**

SWEAR

**yeoyeoman:**

fine i swear on my skateboard!

**ooohyoung:**

he wanted to hook up

like

have sex

but i didn’t feel good about it

i didn’t want to prove you right

so i left

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

wooyoung, i’m

**ooohyoung:**

it’s alright, you don’t have to apologize

**yeoyeoman:**

i feel like i do

i really didn’t mean to deprive of you of like

good old college fun

**ooohyoung:**

lol

you’re not

there’s always more boys to fuck

i only have one best friend

**yeoyeoman:**

woo…

**ooohyoung:**

jongho. jongho is my best friend 

**yeoyeoman:**

you’re the worst

**ooohyoung:**

hahaha

**yeoyeoman:**

you sure you’re okay with the way it went?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

i mean, honestly?

we got along really well

we had a lot in common

i wouldn’t have wanted it to end with a one night thing

it’s better that it just ends period 

if that’s all he wanted

**yeoyeoman:**

still sucks

still wanna punch him in his face

**ooohyoung:**

well, don’t

it’s fine

**yeoyeoman:**

when did you get so mature??

**ooohyoung:**

i’ve always been

you just never noticed.

**yeoyeoman:**

i guess i need to do better at that

**ooohyoung:**

at noticing things outside your little emo personal bubble?

yes

**yeoyeoman:**

i really am sorry, wooyoung.

i shouldn’t have said anything about san one way or the other

i’m sorry hanging out with him was for nothing

**ooohyoung:**

it wasn’t

**yeoyeoman:**

no?

**ooohyoung:**

nah

now i know who jvn is

and why he’s god

**yeoyeoman:**

i can’t believe you didn’t know before

**yeoyeoman:**

bad gay.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**Mars:**

Okay, its been like an entire week since anyone said anything in here

Thats

Too long

Sound off if youre still alive

Between Wooyoung making Interesting Choices and Yeosang being… Yeosang

I just want to know

**ooohyoung:**

fuck off

**Mars:**

Thats 1

**yeoyeoman:**

i think i’m being insulted

so

also fuck off

**Mars:**

2

**uno bitches:**

present

**MaNGo:**

here

**Superbaby:**

Whatever

**joong:**

well you know i’m here

obviously

**Mars:**

Yes

Please scoot over, Im about to fall off this tiny ass bed

**ooohyoung:**

okay but really

i just want everyone to leave me alone about my “choices”

they’re mine

i live with them

i carry them with me every day

**Mars:**

Dramatic

**ooohyoung:**

anyway, i think yeosang’s recent choices have been more noteworthy

**yeoyeoman:**

what

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

choosing to act like a total psycho because he couldn’t get ahold of me for five seconds

**yeoyeoman:**

NINETEEN HOURS

**ooohyoung:**

choosing to pretend he’s sorry AFTER i’d already seen san and been let down by him

**yeoyeoman:**

i _was_ sorry? i?? am???

**uno bitches:**

you said you were fine with it, wooyoung

**ooohyoung:**

MAYBE I CHANGED MY MIND

**MaNGo:**

somehow i feel like this is all yeosangs fault, babe

wooyoung is innocent

**yeoyeoman:**

what the fuck

**MaNGo:**

you confused him

put his mind in turmoil

**yeoyeoman:**

D R A M A T I C

WHAT ABOUT MY TURMOIL

**joong:**

equally manufactured, seems like

**Mars:**

I mean

**yeoyeoman:**

oh okay

so

a week of silence

no one says a god damn word in here

and when we finally do it’s all about ganging up on me for wanting to protect wooyoung? 

how is that fucking fair

**ooohyoung:**

it’s fair like you ruining how i felt about san was fair

**yeoyeoman:**

could we not have discussed this privately

**ooohyoung:**

maybe i want everyone to know how insane you’ve been

**joong:**

we knew

**MaNGo:**

We Been Knew

**Mars:**

^^^

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung

if you had these things to say to me

i wish you had said them when we talked about what happened at san’s

you had the opportunity

**ooohyoung:**

i wasn’t ready

**yeoyeoman:**

what changed

**ooohyoung:**

nothing

definitely not your character development

that’ll never change

**yeoyeoman:**

WOOYOUNG I WAS FUCKING RIGHT ABOUT SAN

HE ONLY INVITED YOU OVER FOR SEX

**ooohyoung:**

YES

AND MAYBE I COULD HAVE DONE IT 

IF IT WEREN’T FOR YOU

**yeoyeoman:**

oh go jack off in the shower like the rest of us and be satisfied

**uno bitches:**

mmm

**yeoyeoman:**

don’t

**Mars:**

ALRIGHT

EVERYONE STOP

YOURE BOTH PRETTY

**joong:**

you try to have a simple roll call, eh hyung?

**Superbaby:**

I think you guys should probably go a little easier on Yeosang

He’s only partially to blame in this

He wanted to prevent Wooyoung from getting hurt

Sometimes that causes intense emotions that lessen our common sense

Wooyoung knew in his heart what would happen at San’s 

And he went anyway

Just lay off Yeosang, alright?

**Mars:**

Im

**joong:**

when the baby is wiser than us all

***********

**_in search of: wooyoung_ **

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_thanks_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

you didn’t have to do that

but thank you

**Superbaby:**

I did

No one was being fair

Just because you suck at being a reasonable person doesn’t mean they should attack you for trying to be a friend

**yeoyeoman:**

i dunno

maybe they should

i probably deserved that

**Superbaby:**

You deserved maybe a quarter of it

You don’t give yourself enough credit, hyung

**yeoyeoman:**

thanks, jongho

you’re a really great guy, you know that?

**Superbaby:**

Nah

**yeoyeoman:**

no, i mean it

may you get laid soon and all that

**Superbaby:**

Lol

It’s been a while

**yeoyeoman:**

oh? the girls aren’t lining up anymore?

did the news of your super-strength get usurped by some new hot info

**Superbaby:**

I guess

I haven’t really been trying tbh

**yeoyeoman:**

why not?

**Superbaby:**

I just

Haven’t felt like it

**yeoyeoman:**

i mean i get it

it’s a lot of effort

potential heartbreak

potential communicable diseases

**Superbaby:**

It’s a lot

**yeoyeoman:**

but hey

i hope it’s not your confidence

you’re a really handsome guy, jongho

coming from a gay, you can take that to the bank

**Superbaby:**

You think I’m handsome?

**yeoyeoman:**

well yeah

**Superbaby:**

And not just when I’m angry?

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho, i don’t have yunho’s strange hulk kink

**Superbaby:**

Thank you

I think you’re

Um

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s alright man

you don’t have to compliment me back

that wasn’t the point

**Superbaby:**

I

Okay.

***********

**_Is this what gay panic feels like_ **

**_Superbaby_ ** _added_ **_Mars_ ** _and_ **_joong_ **

**Mars:**

ONCE AGAIN

ONCE AGAIN WE ARE PUT TOGETHER LIKE ONE SINGULAR UNIT

**joong:**

maybe we should be

**Mars:**

What

**joong:**

nothing

son, why are you, a Straight, gay panicking?

**Superbaby:**

Can I just

Ask you real quick

For a friend

**Mars:**

Oh my god

Is this really happening

**Superbaby:**

FOR A FRIEND

**joong:**

oh my god

**Superbaby:**

How did you know

That you were like

You know

**Mars:**

...Really really ridiculously good looking?

**Superbaby:**

No

I mean yes

You are

Fuck

FUCK

**joong:**

son

my sweet sweet son

are you trying to tell us

that you’re

thinking about

**Mars:**

*inhuman shrieking*

**joong:**

can confirm

**Superbaby:**

Howdidyouknowthatyouweremaybenotentirelystraight

**Superbaby:**

ASKING FOR A FRIEND

**joong:**

the only straight i am is a straight up bitch

**Superbaby:**

Unoriginal

Seonghwa-hyung?

**joong:**

oh my fucking god he fuckin dead

**Superbaby:**

Well, this has been incredibly helpful.

**joong:**

you’re welcome

*******

**_hi!_ **

**_sanshine_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_hi?_ **

**sanshine:**

wooyoung?

hello?

look

i know it’s been a minute, but can we talk?

*******

**ooohyoung:**

san

i didn’t expect to hear from you again

**sanshine:**

i should have thought about what to say before i did this

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t think there really _is_ anything to say, is there?

you wanted something, i couldn’t do it

it’s been over a week

i’m sure you’ve found somebody else to help you out by now

**sanshine:**

i

**ooohyoung:**

it’s fine

it is what it is

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

**ooohyoung:**

i should have just listened to my friends

they’re always right

**sanshine:**

WOOYOUNG

**ooohyoung:**

what?

**sanshine:**

would you just let me talk?

**ooohyoung:**

you said you didn’t have anything planned to say

i was just trying to fill the silence

i don’t like silence

**sanshine:**

just

ugh just give me a minute

**ooohyoung:**

ok

*******

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t want to appear impatient

but it’s been 46 minutes

*******

**sanshine:**

i’m sorry

i had a customer

**ooohyoung:**

another job?

**sanshine:**

always

always on that grind

**ooohyoung:**

let’s not talk about grinding

that’s what got me into trouble in the first place with you

**sanshine:**

wooyoung, that’s actually what i _wanted_ to talk to you about

**ooohyoung:**

oh

well

**sanshine:**

listen

i

fuck this is gonna sound awful

i’ve

i’ve never been turned down for sex before

**ooohyoung:**

congratulations, i guess?

**sanshine:**

no

just let me finish

or start over

or something

**ooohyoung:**

look

i don’t really need to know this stuff

i don’t need an explanation or whatever this is trying to be

**sanshine:**

i _want_ to explain

please

i’ve never wanted to explain to anyone.

**ooohyoung:**

...okay.

explain

**sanshine:**

i’m not used to being turned down, okay?

and that’s not even me being arrogant

that’s just the truth

and

and i never cooked for anyone before

i never tried that hard

only to get turned down

**ooohyoung:**

well i’m sorry

**sanshine:**

you’re _sorry_?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

i’m sorry you’ve never had to make an effort

it makes the results much more worthwhile

**sanshine:**

yes

thank you

that’s exactly why i’m here

i’m texting you again because

i liked it

**ooohyoung:**

liked what?

being turned down for a fuck?

**sanshine:**

yeah?

kinda?

i guess

it was

interesting

**ooohyoung:**

san

you’re not

you’re not really making a very good case for yourself right now

**sanshine:**

i know

but

i want to

**ooohyoung:**

...you want to

**sanshine:**

wooyoung, i

i think i actually

like

 _like_ you

**ooohyoung:**

oh

**sanshine:**

yeah

oh

**ooohyoung:**

so 

on top of not making a good case for yourself

you’re late

**sanshine:**

too late?

i’m sorry

i honestly don’t even know how to do this

**ooohyoung:**

ugh

i hate you

**sanshine:**

i feel like that’s maybe not true

**ooohyoung:**

it’s not

which makes me hate you more

**sanshine:**

lol

**ooohyoung:**

so what do you want?

another date?

**sanshine:**

is that an option?

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t think so

not right now

**sanshine:**

what _can_ i have, then?

**ooohyoung:**

let me think about it, okay?

**sanshine:**

okay

take your time

i’ll be

i’ll be here.

**_sanshine_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_second chances, question mark?_ **

*******

**ooohyoung:**

coffee.

**sanshine:**

what?

**ooohyoung:**

coffee is what you can have

with me

**sanshine:**

okay :)

at the shop?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

during business hours

with lots of people around

and no below the belt touching

friendly coffee

**sanshine:**

fair

what about above the belt friendly coffee?

**ooohyoung:**

don’t push your luck

**sanshine:**

life's more fun that way, though.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *ON HIATUS FOR A MONTH!*

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**_joong_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_GAYS (and jongho who is questioning)_ **

**joong:**

:)

**_DIE IN THE LARGEST FIRE_ **

**_Superbaby_ ** _added_ **_joong_ **

**Superbaby:**

NO

CHANGE IT BACK

**joong:**

why

it’s true

**Superbaby:**

NOT YET

I don’t know if I’m just weirdly gay for Yeosang or in general

**joong:**

we’ve all been there, son

i just think a dialogue should be opened

**Superbaby:**

A DIALOGUE SHOULD BE CLOSED BEFORE ANYONE ELSE SEES IT

**joong:**

party pooper

**Superbaby:**

I’m fine with that

I’ll poop the party

Just 

Change it back

Please.

**joong:**

fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

besides, it’s like 7am

no one else is even around

**Superbaby:**

I could eviscerate you with one foot, hyung.

**_GAYS (and jongho who is questioning)_ **

**_joong_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**_DIE IN THE LARGEST FIRE_ **

**_Superbaby_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**joong:**

aw

i’m honored

**Superbaby:**

Shut up

**joong:**

*hyung

*******

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**Superbaby:**

How is everyone this fine straight day

**joong:**

that’s gonna be a yikes from me

**yeoyeoman:**

are you okay, jongho?

**Superbaby:**

I’m great

Super good

**yeoyeoman:**

...ok

**ooohyoung:**

what’s all this aggressive straightery

offensive

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung

you haven’t been answering my messages

**ooohyoung:**

yall hear sumn

**yeoyeoman:**

...fine

i can wait

**uno bitches:**

good morning! 

mingi and i are going on a HIKE today!

**MaNGo:**

stop yelling

its so early i can hear colors

im gonna throw myself off the cliff when we get to the top

**Mars:**

Mood

**joong:**

why is that a mood, hwa

**Mars:**

Life in General

**joong:**

...i guess

**Superbaby:**

Anyway

Everyone wish me luck

It’s my first day working at the supermarket

Part time

Gettin that paper

**Mars:**

Good luck!

**ooohyoung:**

luck!

**yeoyeoman:**

kick ass, jongie

**uno bitches:**

mingi and i say good luck

he just tripped over a pebble in the parking lot on the way to the trail and went down like a sack of potatoes so he’s a little busy being overdramatic right now

**Mars:**

Do you need any help? I can bring crackers and water if you need

I can be there in fifteen minutes

**MaNGo:**

i wanna go home with mom

**uno bitches:**

oh don’t be such a baby

there’s a surprise at the top of the cliff!

**MaNGo:**

surprise you say

you have my attention

**uno bitches:**

good

let’s go

bye guys!

**joong:**

good luck, youngest son

you got this

**Superbaby:**

Thanks, dad.

*******

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

can we please just talk?

i hate when we fight

and this is now our longest fight to date

like, we haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks and i don’t like it

i promise we don’t have to talk about san anymore

i just want my best friend.

**ooohyoung:**

i want my best friend too, yeo.

but my REAL best friend, not the crazy imposter that’s taken over your body and mind.

**yeoyeoman:**

he’s gone, woo

dormant at the very least

i swear

**ooohyoung:**

swear on your

**yeoyeoman:**

i swear on my skateboard.

**ooohyoung:**

...okay. fine.

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

hi :)

**ooohyoung:**

hi :)

what have i missed?

**yeoyeoman:**

not much

class, home, repeat

**ooohyoung:**

you need a boy

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

that’s been on my mind lately

**ooohyoung:**

oh?

is there a contender?

**yeoyeoman:**

not a viable one

**ooohyoung:**

stop falling for the hets

they’ll getcha every time

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah yeah

how about you?

what’s been up

**ooohyoung:**

also not much

mostly just third wheeling yunho and mingi

or sitting home alone

**yeoyeoman:**

that sounds upsetting

**ooohyoung:**

spending more than twenty minutes around those two when they’re all sexed up and ready to go is Deeply Upsetting

**ooohyoung:**

i haven’t seen san 

i’m not seeing san

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung, i said we didn’t have to talk about him

**ooohyoung:**

i know

i just wanted it to be clear

**yeoyeoman:**

well alright

but you could if you wanted

i’m done being a jerk about it

it’s not worth losing you

**ooohyoung:**

soft

**yeoyeoman:**

only 4 u

wanna come over and watch anime in our pajamas?

**ooohyoung:**

hell yes

i’ll bring food

**yeoyeoman:**

by food do you mean exclusively junk so sugary it’ll kill us?

**ooohyoung:**

who The Fuck do you think i am, kang yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

hell yes

*******

**_second chances, question mark?_ **

**sanshine:**

hey :)

what are you up to today?

**ooohyoung:**

on my way to chill with the bff

why do you ask

**sanshine:**

oh

it’s not important

i was just wondering if you wanted to hang out

i thought i might go up to the park and hike that new trail 

**ooohyoung:**

oh

sorry, it’s just been so long since he and i spent any time together

**sanshine:**

no i totally understand

have fun!

**ooohyoung:**

okay

**sanshine:**

text me later?

**ooohyoung:**

okay

**ooohyoung:**

i mean

i doubt i’ll be gone all night

we could do something after

**sanshine:**

wanna stop by?

**ooohyoung:**

no

we both know that’s not a good idea right now

**sanshine:**

right

i know

i’m sorry

**ooohyoung:**

it’s okay, san.

why don’t i meet you at the park after your hike?

**sanshine:**

>:( but i’ll be all sweaty and gross

**ooohyoung:**

good thing we’re absolutely not going to make out, then

**sanshine:**

yeah

good thing

**ooohyoung:**

just message me when you’re about done and i’ll head out, alright?

**sanshine:**

i will

can’t wait to see you

**ooohyoung:**

lol

you saw me yesterday

**sanshine:**

i said what i said

**ooohyoung:**

bye san

**sanshine:**

bye

*******

**_ooohyoung_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_second chances, period_ **

*******

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**Superbaby:**

I return triumphant from my first day of work

And I bring news

Interesting news

**Mars:**

How was it?

Did you make any friends?

**joong:**

what’s the interesting news

**uno bitches:**

is it interesting enough for mingi and i to stop making out at the top of the cliff

**Superbaby:**

Yes

**MaNGo:**

he lied

there wasnt a surprise

these are blood kisses born of falsehood

**uno bitches:**

you’re still enjoying them

also, stop playing so much skyrim jfc

**ooohyoung:**

i’m just leaving yeosang’s and i heard there was News

**Mars:**

Ahhhh Im so glad youre hanging out again!

Wholesome

Heartwarming

**yeoyeoman:**

how dare you i haven’t been wholesome a day in my life

**joong:**

WHAT’S THE INTERESTING NEWS

**Superbaby:**

So I was in the break room on my break

Obviously

And I was perusing the schedule

Memorizing names

Figuring out who I have to kill first to advance up the corporate ladder

**yeoyeoman:**

the usual

**Superbaby:**

And there

Right below my own name

Was

Choi

San.

*pause for dramatic effect*

**ooohyoung:**

oh

weird

**yeoyeoman:**

probably not the same san

**Mars:**

But what if it is?

**joong:**

what if

**Superbaby:**

I mean

If it is

I guess I know who’s at the top of my To Murder list

**ooohyoung:**

not necessary

**uno bitches**

FULL BODY CLENCH

**MaNGo:**

jongho, please stop seducing my boyfriend over text, we’re going to get arrested if we go any further in public

**uno bitches:**

there’s no one here

**Superbaby:**

ANYWAY

I just thought it was weird

And interesting

So I’ll let you know if it’s the same San when I actually meet this guy

**Mars:**

How will you even know?

**Superbaby:**

I’ll ask

I’ll be like

"Hey

Are you the San who dicked down half my friends and nearly ruined a decade-long friendship?”

**ooohyoung:**

i would prefer it if you didn’t

**yeoyeoman:**

same

**Superbaby:**

Boring

But fine

And no, hyung, I didn’t make any friends

I don’t need friends, they disappoint me.

**joong:**

our baby’s all grown up /tear


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK AFTER A THOUSAND YEARS, IS ANYONE STILL WITH ME??? Made this chapter double-sized to make up for all the time I've been gone~
> 
> (PS - ships have been updated 😁)
> 
> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**Superbaby:**

Hey

No rush on answering this

Like, I know you’re busy

Life

Life keeps us all very busy

But

I was wondering

For a friend, obviously

Do you happen to know what, like

What Yeosang likes in a boy?

Get back to me

You know, whenever

Whenever is good

*******

**_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**Superbaby:**

Hi hyung

I hope you’re having a great day

I just have a question

If you don’t mind

You’ve known Yeosang a long time

Well

As long as any of us, I guess

Other than Wooyoung

Hmm

Maybe I should have just waited for Wooyoung to respond

Nevermind

***********

**joong:**

your mother’s going to be very upset that you asked me about boy problems and he wasn’t included

**Superbaby:**

I need you to stop calling Seonghwa my mom, my real mom is getting offended

**joong:**

you told her about hyung’s nickname?

**Superbaby:**

No, I just know she’s offended already somehow 

She can probably sense it

The true originator of the Mom Sense

**joong:**

lol

**Superbaby:**

Anyway, don’t worry about it

Whatever I was about to say

Haha

Nobody knows!

**joong:**

*eyebrow raise*

**Superbaby:**

I hate that I have such a clear mental picture of that

**joong:**

great success

**joong:**

jongho, this IS your feelings dumpster, after all

if you have a question i can at least try to help

**Superbaby:**

Okay

**Superbaby:**

Fuck

I’m so nervous

**Superbaby:**

Um

Do you know anything about what kind of guys Yeosang likes?

**joong:**

honestly, not really?

he hasn’t dated anyone in nearly two years 

not even casually

i guess whatever happened that made him ask wooyoung to transfer schools really affected him

he's still never explained it to any of us and we stopped asking after a while

**Superbaby:**

:( I hate that he was sad

**joong:**

the saddest tbh

sadboi

big sad

mucho sad-o

**Superbaby:**

Okay, I get it

I just

I think this is a real thing, hyung

I mean, I’ve never liked a boy before

But I also never discounted the possibility?

And Yeosang is so

**joong:**

so

**Superbaby:**

Whatever, he’s A Lot

**joong:**

until you get to know him and find out what a fucking nerd he is

**Superbaby:**

A hot nerd

Is that my boy type

Sexy nerds

Oh my god

How do you even kiss a boy??

**joong:**

with your mouth

**Superbaby:**

Fuck off

You know what I meant

**joong:**

i truly don’t

we’re not a whole other species or anything

**Superbaby:**

I think Yeosang’s from a whole other planet

Where all the hot boys come from

**joong:**

keep your fucking pants on, jongHOE

**Superbaby:**

My pants are on

My pants are pulled all the way up to my ears to cover my embarrassment over not knowing how to do this

**joong:**

aw, kid, don’t be embarrassed

just talk to him!

you have to find out if he’s even interested in you

he’s probably not because he’s not even aware you’re one leg into the gay pool

he’s probably already counted you out and flagged you as unavailable in his mind

**Superbaby:**

Oh

Shit

That’s not good

**joong:**

not if you want to get somewhere, no

**Superbaby:**

I think I want to get somewhere.

**Superbaby:**

Do you think he’d laugh at me if I don’t know how to do the… the things?

**joong:**

no

yeosang’s a good dude

little crazy

little weird

but fundamentally good

**Superbaby:**

He is

OH god, I’m blushing

**joong:**

god can’t help you now, son.

*******

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

What The Fuck

what are these messages

what is this

are you

is he

oh my god

OH MY GOD

JONGHO

JONGHO THIS IS AMAZING!

CONGRATS DUDE

i’m so fucking happy what the fuck

WELCOME TO THE TEAM LET ME HUG U

**Superbaby:**

Slow down

I’m not on the team yet

I’m just at tryouts

**ooohyoung:**

gay

and cute

**Superbaby:**

Would you just help me?

What do I do?

How do I even tell Yeosang I’m interested?

How do I know if he’s interested back?

What’s his weakness?

How do I destroy him and win the battle?

**ooohyoung:**

that’s violent

**Superbaby:**

I AM VIOLENTLY INTERESTED IN HIM

**Superbaby:**

Oh

Oh no

I typed it out loud and now it’s real

**ooohyoung:**

how does that make you feel

**Superbaby:**

Strangely good

**ooohyoung:**

great!

you’re doing great already!

**Superbaby:**

Alright alright

Hongjoong’s my life coach apparently, I don’t need two

I just need intel

Yeosang intel

**ooohyoung:**

first of all, when did this start?

i’m guessing it’s not as sudden as it looks

**Superbaby:**

Yes and no

I’ve always thought hyung was good looking

**ooohyoung:**

congratulations, you have eyes

**Superbaby:**

But then he was so grateful that I stood up for him that one time in chat when everyone else was shitting on him for flipping out about you and San

**ooohyoung:**

oh

**Superbaby:**

And he thanked me and told me I was handsome

**ooohyoung:**

OH

**Superbaby:**

And maybe I’m fucking easy but it’s like that flipped a switch in my brain and now I think about him so much

He invited me to eat dinner with him in the cafeteria the other day and I could barely talk

And

We’ve gone to the arcade together a lot in the past

But this last time he asked me to play him at his favorite game and blatantly let me win

While smiling his tiny smile

Do you know his tiny smile?

**ooohyoung:**

all too well

anyway, shut up for a sec

yeosang told me he was crushing on a dirty het but he was gonna forget about it because obvious reasons

i can ask him who it is if you want

that way you’ll either be really happy or you’ll have another name to add to your murder list

**Superbaby:**

I could never

Ever murder him

**Superbaby:**

Do you think you can do it without raising his suspicions?

**ooohyoung:**

why do people always underestimate me

**Superbaby:**

I don’t

I promise

Just

Okay. Go for it.

**ooohyoung:**

brb!!!

**Superbaby:**

NOT RIGHT THIS SECOND HOLY SHIT I’M NOT READY

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hey yeo

what do you think about jongho

**yeoyeoman:**

uh

where is this coming from

**ooohyoung:**

from my brain

**yeoyeoman:**

uh

why

**ooohyoung:**

i just wanna know

**yeoyeoman:**

what will the answer do for you

rephrase

what will the answer cause you to do to me

**ooohyoung:**

just trust me

you know i wouldn’t set you up to get hurt

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

um

remember that straight boy i mentioned crushing on before

**ooohyoung:**

YELL

**yeoyeoman:**

i think i heard you five buildings over

**ooohyoung:**

joke’s on you buddy, i’m not at home

**yeoyeoman:**

where are you

**ooohyoung:**

irrelevant

talk, kang.

**yeoyeoman:**

i

i may have a SLIGHT issue 

SLIGHT

BECAUSE

he doesn’t like boys so i’m trying to get over it because i do this all the time, i fall for the ones who won’t like me back

**ooohyoung:**

what if he did?

**yeoyeoman:**

what?

what are you implying?

**ooohyoung:**

brb

**yeoyeoman:**

WHAT

YOU CAN’T JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH THAT

MY ARMS AREN’T STRONK ENOUGH FOR ALL THESE FEELS

*******

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

interest confirmed

**Superbaby:**

AJLKDJASLKFHSDFHAJFHJAHNKJSEDFEHJG

What does that mean

What did you do

**ooohyoung:**

i asked him who the straight boy was, like i said

honestly, i tell people what i’m going to do and then they’re surprised when i do it?

**Superbaby**

I need you to tell me exactly what was said

I need the verbiage

The inflection

Everything

**ooohyoung:**

does it actually matter

yeosang likes you

now go get him

**Superbaby:**

It’s not that simple!

**ooohyoung:**

why can’t it be

**Superbaby:**

Too many things could go wrong

**ooohyoung:**

examples

**Superbaby:**

I could say the wrong thing

I could be the wrong side of me

I could be really bad at flirting

Spoiler alert: I am really bad at flirting

**ooohyoung:**

send him a selfie

**Superbaby:**

What, just out of nowhere?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah!

i mean no

make up a reason

get all dressed up and be like

“hey, what do you think of this outfit?”

bonus points if your shirt is unbuttoned two buttons more than necessary

yeosang loves a good strong chest

**Superbaby:**

I 

**ooohyoung:**

look

you have to do something to get him talking

now that he knows that i know that you like him

he’ll know that you know that we talked

and he’ll go silent for an undetermined amount of time

do not let that happen

**Superbaby:**

Okay.

I’ll

I’ll try.

**ooohyoung:**

listen to me

i know we all baby you and treat you like a kid

but you’re not a kid

we all know that, really

you’re a grown, hot man

get out there and get your boy

**Superbaby:**

The last time someone told me I was attractive I developed a rather large crush on him, Wooyoung.

**ooohyoung:**

don’t fall in love with me, jongho.

i know it’s hard.

**Superbaby:**

Phrasing

**Superbaby:**

Thanks. ❤️

**ooohyoung:**

**❤️**

**_second chances, period_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hey

random question for you

**sanshine:**

shoot

**ooohyoung:**

is one of your four million jobs at the supermarket just off campus, by chance?

**sanshine:**

maybe

how would you know that

**ooohyoung:**

my friend jongho just started there part time

said he saw a choi san on the schedule, so i figured i’d ask

**sanshine:**

i stock overnight

**ooohyoung:**

...…

san

**sanshine:**

what

**ooohyoung:**

what are you doing?

why so many jobs?

you’re a student

you should be studying

or focusing on classes

how can you possibly do that when you have at least three jobs, last i counted?

**sanshine:**

i need the money

**ooohyoung:**

for what?

don’t your parents pay your tuition?

**sanshine:**

can we please talk about something else?

**ooohyoung:**

i’m worried about you

**sanshine:**

awww

cute

you’re cute when you’re worried

**ooohyoung:**

san, i’m serious

**sanshine:**

uwu

**ooohyoung:**

san!

**sanshine:**

look

i’m fine

it’s fine

i like working

i like having my own money

i’ve been doing school and these jobs for almost two years now

and my gpa is still good

can this just be the one thing i keep a secret?

**ooohyoung:**

i’m already keeping you a secret

i don’t want more secrets

**sanshine:**

you could just tell your friends about us

**ooohyoung:**

i really can’t

not now

i’ve been hiding it too long

**sanshine:**

so you’re just never going to tell them we hang out

even if we start dating for real

**ooohyoung:**

that is not on the table

that’s on some table in another country that i can’t get into right now

my visa is expired

**sanshine:**

okay, okay

i’m not pushing, i swear

i just

you know how i feel about you

**ooohyoung:**

i know how you tell me you feel about me

**sanshine:**

i don’t have any reason to lie

i’m trying to do this second chance right

i want

i want to be better than i’ve been in the past

**ooohyoung:**

i know

i’m sorry i started this conversation

i shouldn’t have tried to pry

**sanshine:**

no, i

ugh

this is hard

wooyoung, i _want_ you to know me

i want you to trust me

i just 

i’m not comfortable talking about this one thing yet, okay?

**ooohyoung:**

okay

just please take care of yourself

an insane schedule like that can’t be good for your health

**sanshine:**

it’s okay

you’re good for me :)

if i get sick you can take care of me

**ooohyoung:**

i wouldn’t even know where to start

**sanshine:**

mmm

you could start with kisses

kisses feel nice

especially yours

**ooohyoung:**

san…

**sanshine:**

maybe some touches

i don’t care where as long as your hands are on me

**ooohyoung:**

san

i

**sanshine:**

tell me to stop and i’ll stop.

**ooohyoung:**

one sec

**_THIS IS WHERE I COME TO YELL AT MYSELF_ **

**ooohyoung:**

JUNG WOOYOUNG

GET IT TOGETHER YOU STUPID BITCH

YOU CAN’T DO THIS

HE’LL BREAK YOUR HEART

AGAIN

IT’LL BE WORSE THIS TIME BECAUSE YOU’RE INVESTED NOW

DO NOT

REPEAT, DO NOT

LET SAN SEDUCE YOU

ACTUALLY WHAT YOU SHOULD DO IS

SEDUCE HIM

BEAT HIM AT HIS OWN GAME

BUT

NO

HE’S TOO POWERFUL

**ooohyoung:**

i mean

honestly you’ve wanted this for a long time

even before you got to know him

sure, the beginning was rough

and you’re maybe finessing the truth to all your friends right now about san in general

but it’s fine

you’re fine

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE

you are a good person, wooyoung

you’re a good person with a good dick and it’s okay to let that dick feel good too

*self high five*

good talk bro

**_second chances, period_ **

**ooohyoung:**

back

sorry about that

you

you don’t have to stop.

**sanshine:**

good

i don’t think i could 

it’s so hard

**ooohyoung:**

phrasing

**sanshine:**

facts

**sanshine:**

being around you is amazing

i love talking to you and learning all i can about you

but

i can’t help wanting you

wanting to be inside you, if you’ll let me

i’m not used to wanting someone so much

**ooohyoung:**

how much

**_sanshine_ ** _sent an image file_

**ooohyoung:**

fuck

**sanshine:**

please

**ooohyoung:**

can i come over

**sanshine:**

you're already late.

*******

**_thanks_ **

**Superbaby:**

Hey hyung

I got a new outfit today

What do you think?

**_Superbaby_ ** _sent an image file_

*******

**yeoyeoman:**

um

you look

you look really

**yeoyeoman:**

one sec

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

wooyoung

what in GAY HELL did you say to jongho that inspired him to send me a picture where his shirt was all the way the fuck open

what do i do with this

how do i respond

he can’t know about the Thirst

any more than he already does

OH GOD his thighs in these jeans

I AM DECEASED

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS BUSY SUDDENLY

**_thanks_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m back

you look really

good

**Superbaby:**

You think so?

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

where are you off to looking so

good

**Superbaby:**

Oh, nowhere

I just wanted to show you

**yeoyeoman:**

i

thank you for your service.

**Superbaby:**

No problem whatsoever, hyung.

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**Superbaby:**

That was almost too easy

Is this how easy it is with boys?

Why didn’t I try this sooner

Wooyoung

Wooyoung?

WHY DO YOU KEEP DISAPPEARING WITHOUT WARNING

*******

**_world’s best baby bois <3333 uwu_ **

**MaNGo:**

i cant believe you ripped my favorite underwear in half

**uno bitches:**

it was necessary

**MaNGo:**

with your TEETH

**uno bitches:**

are you complaining?

**MaNGo:**

no

**uno bitches:**

i’ll buy you another pair

**MaNGo:**

my sugar daddy (✯◡✯)

*******

**_Tired™_ **

**joong:**

hey, you around?

**Mars:**

Yeah

Whats up

**joong:**

can we talk?

**Mars:**

Ominous

**joong:**

it’s not

promise

i’ll come over?

**Mars:**

My roommates here getting blasted with his friends and playing Mario Party

Not really a good environment for conversation at the moment

**joong:**

yike

would you mind coming over here?

it’s kind of important

i need to say some things before i lose my nerve

**Mars:**

Are you mad at me?

Did I do something?

**joong:**

NO

would you PLEASE just come over

**Mars:**

Alright, alright

Im heading out

**joong:**

thank you.

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

hey, beautiful

i know you’re in class but i just wanted you to know that last night was amazing

and also, you left your snapback here

xxxxx

**ooohyoung:**

i guess i did

now i have an excuse to come back ;)

**sanshine:**

:O isn’t my dick enough of a reason??

you seemed pretty into it

judging by the three times i made you cum

**ooohyoung:**

I AM IN PUBLIC

**sanshine:**

fuckin’ AND???

**ooohyoung:**

points were made

**sanshine:**

let’s hang out tonight

**ooohyoung:**

okay

but i wanna go out

on like

a real date

**sanshine:**

me too :)

i’m off work at 6

meet me outside the coffeeshop after?

**ooohyoung:**

sure

see you then

**sanshine:**

can’t wait to treat you to dinner like you deserve

**ooohyoung:**

lol you’ve treated me to dinner lots of times

**sanshine:**

yeah but none of those times were the day after you let me put my cock in your

**ooohyoung:**

G O O D B Y E


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another double (maybe triple?) sized chapter for you, with a surprise in the middle! Honestly, they might all be this long now, who knows. Hope you don't mind~
> 
> Slight warning for this chapter: discussion about self-esteem issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_help meeeeeee_ **

**_joong_ ** _added_ **_uno bitches_ **

**joong:**

help me help me help me

oh god

um

**joong:**

i fucked it up

i fucked it up yunho

i fucked it all up

**uno bitches:**

hyung? what’s going on?

**joong:**

everything

nothing

i don’t know

i just know it’s all very bad

**uno bitches:**

okay

calm down

it’s gonna be fine

is this about seonghwa-hyung?

**joong:**

of course it is

of course it is yunho

**uno bitches:**

what happened?

**joong:**

i couldn’t do it

he came all the way over

and i

i couldn’t

get the words

**uno bitches:**

don’t start in the middle, please

**joong:**

okay

okay okay

i’ll start at like

the beginning

right?

**uno bitches:**

right.

**joong:**

okay

so like

i spent all night working it out

rehearsing what i was going to say

planning to confess

i literally did not sleep

**uno bitches:**

hyung

you know you’re no good on not enough sleep.

**joong:**

I know!

i know, okay??

i just thought

that if i slept

i’d talk myself out of it like i always do

and i was so tired of doing that

so tired of him not knowing

you know

**uno bitches:**

i know

**joong:**

you know

**joong:**

yeah

anyway

i had this whole speech or whatever in my head

and then i asked him to come over

well, first i asked if i could go over to his place but his roommate had friends there

so i made him come to mine

I MADE HIM GET INTO HIS CAR AND DRIVE HERE

**uno bitches:**

i’m pretty sure hyung would drive way further than eleven blocks for you in any given sitution

**joong:**

he would!

he totally fucking would!

and i wouldn’t! fucking! deserve it!

**uno bitches:**

please continue your story and i will determine that at the end.

**joong:**

okay

so

he came over

he was there in like five minutes

all out of breath and shit

who gets out of breath driving a car

**uno bitches:**

people who care about what’s going on at their destination.

**joong:**

FUCK

**joong:**

i’m sorry

i didn’t mean to curse

**uno bitches:**

it’s fine, hyung

**joong:**

okay

um

so he came over looking all winded and fucking windblown and gorgeous when i opened the door

literally who looks BETTER after a stiff breeze, i ask you

i think seonghwa’d look good wearing a god damn trash bag

**uno bitches:**

are we getting closer to the crux of this issue or are we going in indignant, self-doubting circles now?

**joong:**

i hate you

**uno bitches:**

no you don’t

you come to me for advice for a reason.

**joong:**

yes

i do

because somehow you’ve managed to have the only stable and functional semi-long lasting relationship in our friend group

you

of all the people

**uno bitches:**

indeed

me

**joong:**

ugh

so i let seonghwa inside and we stood there awkwardly

while he like

caught his breath

and i just

stared at the floor

and finally he asked me what was so important that i needed to tell him before i lost my nerve

because i said that exact sentence to him before he came over

i influenced the audience

i gave the audience expectations i could never live up to

really, no one should expect anything from me ever

i am: useless

**uno bitches:**

you’re not

this conversation might be if you don’t get to the point

**joong:**

breaking news you’re the fucking worst

**uno bitches:**

mmm

and yet

**joong:**

oh my gooooooooooooooooood

**joong:**

anyway

so he asked me what was so important that he needed to come over right that second

and i looked at him

being all tall and beautiful and perfect

and me all little and annoying and pathetic

and i just couldn’t say it

i couldn’t say any of it

because i felt like

what do i even have to offer him?

what would i bring to the relationship?

**uno bitches:**

charisma, mostly

**joong:**

NOT GOOD ENOUGH

LIKE ME

**uno bitches:**

even though you’re not finished with your story can we agree that you’ll never say that again? like, ever?

**joong:**

no

i make no guarantees 

i am a rudderless ship drifting in a storm

no one knows what i’ll get up to

where i’ll go

which unfortunate desert island will be saddled with my presence when it’s all over

**uno bitches:**

okay drama queen

can you just skip to the part where you said something stupid to hyung instead of the things you were supposed to say? the self-deprecation is getting super exhausting.

**joong:**

WELCOME TO MY WORLD

**uno bitches:**

thanks i hate it here

**joong:**

it was silent

for like

two entire minutes

do you even understand how long two minutes actually lasts when no one is saying anything

**uno bitches:**

not really

i’d rather die than sit through two minutes of total silence

sounds terrible though

**joong:**

IT WAS

IT WAS TERRIBLE

it was so terrible that i finally decided i had to say _something_

i couldn’t just be all “nevermind, see you in lit class tomorrow”

**uno bitches:**

no, probably not

**joong:**

so i said

I LITERALLY SAID

WITH MY OWN FUCKING FACE

“i just wanted to know what you think about these shoes I’ve just painted”

**uno bitches:**

you did not

**joong:**

i did

i did, yunho

**uno bitches:**

oh my fuck

how are you so bad at this????

what did he even say back??

**joong:**

HE FUCKING TOLD ME THEY WERE AMAZING

**uno bitches:**

of course he did

**joong:**

“LIKE EVERYTHING YOU DO”, HE SAID

**uno bitches:**

oh boy

**joong:**

AND THEN HE SAID

“SEE YOU IN LIT CLASS TOMORROW”

AND HE LEFT

**uno bitches:**

he just left??

**joong:**

YEAH

AND I LET HIM DO IT, TOO

DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO STOP HIM

**uno bitches:**

you need therapy

**joong:**

you’re my therapist

duh

fix me

**uno bitches:**

absolutely not

**joong:**

why nooooooooooooooot

**uno bitches:**

fix yourself

fix things with seonghwa before it’s too late

**joong:**

how

**uno bitches:**

is that a real question

**joong:**

obviously!

**uno bitches:**

tell him how you feel

tell him you are sorry for being insane

tell him you need him

tell him you would do anything for him

to be with him

**joong:**

i can’t

**uno bitches:**

YES YOU FUCKING CAN HONGJOONG

YES YOU CAN

I AM: TIRED

OF YOUR BULLSHIT

YOU ARE BRINGING OUT THE YELLY SIDE OF ME

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT

YELLY YUNHO

**joong:**

no omg i’m sorry

put it away

**uno bitches:**

TOO LATE

YOU GET UP RIGHT THIS SECOND

DON’T EVEN CALL HIM

DON’T THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY

GET UP AND GO TO HIS HOUSE AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL

**joong:**

yunho, it’s midnight

**uno bitches:**

I DON’T GIVE A FRENCH FRYING FUCK WHAT TIME IT IS

DO YOU REALLY THINK HE’S SLEEPING AFTER WHAT YOU DID

**joong:**

please stop yelling

**uno bitches:**

I CAN’T

THIS IS WHAT YOU’VE DONE

REAP WHAT YOU SOW, HYUNG

**joong:**

okay okay

i’m

i’m going

i’m going to his place right now

okay?

**uno bitches:**

SOUNDS GREAT

I EXPECT TO HEAR FROM YOU IN NO LESS THAN ONE HOUR WITH THE RESULTS

EVEN IF YOU JUST SEND ME AN EXCLAMATION POINT

TO LET ME KNOW IT WENT WELL

**joong:**

okay!

i’ll let you know what happens

just

calm down

i’m sorry i woke up yelly yunho

**uno bitches:**

IT’S REALLY FINE

GO

NOW

**joong:**

okay

bye.

**uno bitches:**

GOOD BYE.

*******

“Hongjoong? Are you okay?”

Hongjoong blinks. He blinks again, and Seonghwa’s still there. He’s still there, right outside the front door of Hongjoong’s building at dumb o’clock, and that’s weird, because he’s supposed to be at _his_ place, refusing to let Hongjoong explain himself or even come in.

Seonghwa steps closer. Hongjoong makes himself look up, and right into his eyes, and then Seonghwa lets out a little half-scoff. “You look like shit.”

The sound that Hongjoong makes in response doesn’t exactly qualify as anything human, but it’ll have to do. “Thanks.”

He’s looking away again when he feels Seonghwa’s knuckles brush over his cheek, so gently it almost knocks the breath right out of his lungs, and when Seonghwa speaks again, it’s quieter. Closer. “Have you been crying?”

Hongjoong should say no. He should lie, probably. But he’s so tired, is the problem. Tired of Seonghwa never knowing the truth, because he’s too scared to tell him. He gives up. “Yeah.”

When he glances up again, Seonghwa’s frowning. “Why?”

Hongjoong sniffles, crossing his arms over his chest. It’s not cold out, not really, but he’s shaking. “Because I’m stupid.”

Seonghwa’s face softens all at once, then, and Hongjoong can see it. He can see realization filter through Seonghwa’s features in waves, and close on its heels, a fear that’s completely different to the one Hongjoong’s become all too familiar with, but one he understands anyway. Seonghwa’s afraid, just like he is. They’re both afraid, they’re both idiots, and maybe, they’re both a little in love.

“You’re not stupid,” Seonghwa says after a minute. “I’m… I should have… I shouldn’t have left so fast. I should have stayed and…”

Hongjoong hears his breath let out in a soft shudder. “And what?” he counters, taking another tentative step forward. He can feel every step they both take in his chest, perfectly in time with the rhythm of his heartbeat. He wonders if Seonghwa’s is thumping at the same pace, too.

Seonghwa sighs, gazing at Hongjoong helplessly. His mouth pulls into a grin at one corner, slow and perfect. He reaches out between them, and before Hongjoong can react, Seonghwa’s hand closes all the way around his, squeezing gently. Reassuringly. Just like he’s always been for Hongjoong. Always there. Always quiet. Always reminding Hongjoong that he’s okay. That _they’re_ okay. 

“I should have kissed you. I should have kissed you a long time ago.”

Just like that, Hongjoong stops breathing.

He thinks he stops breathing for so long that realistically, it should probably make him dizzy. He _is_ dizzy, but it must be because Seonghwa seems to be breathing for the both of them, taking all the words Hongjoong meant to say right off his tongue and into his own mouth, swallowing down kiss after kiss like he’s been starving for them. Maybe he has, Hongjoong realizes suddenly. Maybe they both have, and he’s just been too blind to see it. 

When they finally have to break apart for air, foreheads pressed together and eyes wide, and Hongjoong feels brave enough to look up again, he sees something he’s never seen before, not from Seonghwa. Never from Seonghwa.

Vulnerability.

 _Seonghwa’s so strong,_ Hongjoong thinks hazily. Always so strong and stable, and yet here he is, standing on Hongjoong’s doorstep in Hongjoong’s arms in the middle of the night, begging Hongjoong to keep him steady without saying a word. Begging Hongjoong to keep him.

Hongjoong smiles. “I’m here,” he says softly, answering the question he hopes Seonghwa’s asking. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Seonghwa laughs a little, cupping Hongjoong’s face in his hands and tilting it up so he can drop kisses onto the tip of Hongjoong’s nose. “Me either.”

*******

**uno bitches:**

it’s been an hour, hyung. i’ve calmed down.

update.

*******

**joong:**

!

!!

!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!

**uno bitches:**

FUCKING FINALLY

GET IT TINY HYUNG

GET YO MANS

CLAP THOSE CHEEKS HYUNJKFHSHFKSJDHKSHGUJHSGNSJKDNEFSEDNFKJBKJBKJBSKFEJBNAEJGBAKWJK

**uno bitches:**

i apologize

that was mingi

he’s a little buzzed right now

off his one single drink

we’re at the bar down the street

he really is the cheapest, hottest date ever

i love him so much

**uno bitches:**

anyway

i’m proud of you, hongjoong.

you deserve this. enjoy it!

*******

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hey

how’s it going?

how are things with yeosang?

feel like i haven’t heard from you in forever

between seonghwa and hongjoong finally getting their shit together and school and everything

this week has been a long ass ride 

**Superbaby:**

It's truly gross how cute they are

I can't believe it took them so long

And that they thought we'd be surprised

Did you see Seonghwa hyung literally feeding Hongjoong a cookie piece by piece right in front of all of our IRL salads yesterday in the cafeteria

**ooohyoung:**

there was really no way i could have missed it

amazing

i love love

speaking of love

the question, sir

what goes on?

**Superbaby:**

Well

If you must know

I basically crushed it with the flirting

Like, full on beast mode

He was helpless

**ooohyoung:**

sounds spicy

did you really send him a thirst trap selfie

**Superbaby:**

I’m unfamiliar with the term

But I think I made my point

If you know what I mean

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t, actually

what point

**Superbaby:**

You know

I got him

Locked it down

**ooohyoung:**

wait

you’re dating?

talking?

he didn’t tell me that part!

i feel like that’s something he would have told me

**Superbaby:**

I mean

I thought he would tell you

Since you’re his best friend

**ooohyoung:**

right

he would have

so…

**Superbaby:**

So…

What you’re saying is…

**ooohyoung:**

JONGHO

did you really think it was that easy??

you send him one pec pic and you’re just automatically together???

**Superbaby:**

I mean?

It works with girls

Sometimes

**ooohyoung:**

were the girls that it worked with really that important to you?

**Superbaby:**

...No

**ooohyoung:**

is yeosang important to you?

**Superbaby:**

Yes. Very.

**ooohyoung:**

you have to try harder!

you can’t just attack him like that then make assumptions

have you even talked since it happened?

**Superbaby:**

Well no, but

**ooohyoung:**

holy shit

omg

why do i have to do everything for you people

**Superbaby:**

I mean

It’s only been five days?

**ooohyoung:**

FIVE DAYS

OF TOTAL SILENCE??

**Superbaby:**

Not total silence!

I mean, we’ve hung out with the group, right?

**ooohyoung:**

jongho

when we were all eating together earlier

you were sitting as far away from him as it gets

you didn’t say one word to each other

**Superbaby:**

I didn’t know what to do! I don’t know how to handle this!

**ooohyoung:**

easy

you do SOMETHING

ANYTHING

if it’s been five days since you sent him that selfie

and you haven’t bothered to take things further in that time

and he hasn’t said anything to me about you...

he hasn’t actually said much at all to me, period

which means that he’s stewing

**Superbaby:**

Stewing?

**ooohyoung:**

roasting in his own juices, my friend

**Superbaby:**

Ew

**ooohyoung:**

shut up

i’m sure you’d love to roast in them too

**Superbaby:**

Could you possibly express this in a slightly less disgusting way

**ooohyoung:**

no

i want you to be disgusted by how much you want to date him

and kiss him

and hold his hand and tell him nice things and MAN UP AND BE HIS FUCKING BOYFRIEND, OKAY

**Superbaby:**

Omg fine! It’s working! I’m disgusted!

Just

Tell me what to do. Please.

**ooohyoung:**

the first thing you’re gonna do is you’re gonna message him and say you’re sorry for not continuing the conversation

be honest with him

he knows you’re new at this

**Superbaby:**

Am not!

I’ve dated plenty!

**ooohyoung:**

not a boy

not yeosang

**Superbaby:**

Okay, okay. What do I do after I apologize?

**ooohyoung:**

tell him you wanna hang out

you wanna hang out, don’t you, jongho?

DON’T you?

**Superbaby:**

Was that meant to be as ominous as it read

**ooohyoung:**

yes

**Superbaby:**

Noted.

**ooohyoung:**

and when he says yes, because he will

because he LIKES you

**Superbaby:**

*SCREAM*

**ooohyoung:**

you need to meet him in the middle

the middle is his place, fyi

and when you get there you need to smile and be charming and flirt but also be SERIOUS, jongho

yeosang’s not about casual relationships

**Superbaby:**

I don’t want our relationship to be casual

**ooohyoung:**

good.

that’s what i like to hear.

**Superbaby:**

Should I message him now?

**ooohyoung:**

sure

it’s after noon, he’s probably up

but, actually, wait

there was something else i wanted to talk to you about

**Superbaby:**

What’s up

**ooohyoung:**

are there like

any days at the supermarket where your schedule and san’s cross even a little?

**Superbaby:**

Ummmm

Lemme see, I took a picture of the schedule

But

I thought you weren’t doing the San thing anymore, hyung

**ooohyoung:**

i’m not

swear

i just need a small favor

**Superbaby:**

Okay.

It looks like I could potentially run into him on the weekend

This Saturday he works until 8 in the morning and I get there at seven because, no class

**ooohyoung:**

right

saturdays

**Superbaby:**

Yeah

**ooohyoung:**

cool

do you think you could like

try and make friends with him? a little?

or try to get to know him?

i mean

not for me

for everyone else

i want to prove

that

like 

i want them to know that

san’s not a bad guy

i guess

**Superbaby:**

Wooyoung

If you’re not hanging out with him anymore, why does it matter?

**ooohyoung:**

because

i can’t stand the thought of

like

everyone hating him

yeosang won’t tell me what happened between them

and i won’t make you ask him

**Superbaby:**

Good, because I wouldn’t.

**ooohyoung:**

i know

just

please

just see what you think of him?

it’s important to me

i know i’m not explaining why very well, but

**Superbaby:**

Hey, it’s okay, Wooyoung.

I think I kind of get it.

**ooohyoung:**

you do?

**Superbaby:**

Yeah.

I mean, no one should be hated for no reason

Especially not if they’re actually a good person

You really think he’s a good person? Even after what happened when you went to his place?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah. i do.

i think, um

i think if just one other person besides me thinks so

maybe i’ll feel, like, validated?

and better about how things went?

**Superbaby:**

Okay. I’ll do what I can.

You’ve helped me a lot. I’m sorry I was so dumb about Yeosang.

This is just

So weird and different for me

Not because he’s a guy

Because I like

Genuinely

**ooohyoung:**

like him.

i know, jongho.

i’m glad it’s you. :)

**Superbaby:**

Ugh

I hope I deserve all this faith people have in me.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**Mars:**

Alright

Were all going to this party tonight, yes?

**joong:**

yes uwu

**uno bitches:**

yup!

**MaNGo:**

si

**Superbaby:**

Yeah, I guess

**yeoyeoman:**

what party

**ooohyoung:**

who’s gonna be there?

**Mars:**

Its at Yeonjuns

At the frat house

**joong:**

it's gonna be so much fun!

**yeoyeoman:**

can i just say once again that it’s nauseating how happy you’ve been lately, hyung

**joong:**

you may

but it will not stop me at all

:) :)

two smileys

one for me and one for seonghwa

**ooohyoung:**

please don’t, i only have my hand to throw up into

**Superbaby:**

I think it’s cute

**ooohyoung:**

the two aren’t mutually exclusive

**yeoyeoman:**

i mean, if everyone else is going i’ll go

otherwise i’ll just be at home alone on halloween and that’s depressing

**MaNGo:**

wait

this is a halloween party??

like

with costumes???

**Mars:**

Yes

Obviously

**uno bitches:**

babe, i told you that two weeks ago

i told you to get a costume asap

**MaNGo:**

i

**uno bitches:**

you forgot, didn’t you

**MaNGo:**

IN MY DEFENSE

**MaNGo:**

nevermind i dont actually have a defense

**joong:**

you can’t just go as nothing! that’s not in the spirit of the holiday!

**Mars:**

Dont worry Mingi, I probably have something I can pull together for you

**MaNGo:**

its not gonna be weird, is it

like

i dont wanna wear the lingerie you put on for hongjoong hyung or anything

**joong:**

that’s not a thing

**MaNGo:**

not yet, but now youre thinking about it

FINGER

GUNS

**Mars:**

ANYWAY

Yeosang, do you need a costume too? I can come with you to see whats left at the Halloween store

**yeoyeoman:**

nah

i have something i think

**Mars:**

Great!

So lets all agree to meet at my place later and go together?

**Superbaby:**

Sure

**joong:**

i’m already here, so

:) :)

**ooohyoung:**

i’ll be there

**yeoyeoman:**

same

**uno bitches:**

roger that

**MaNGo:**

i kinda just follow yunho around most of the time, so

**uno bitches:**

it’s cute uwu

**Superbaby:**

It _was_ cute. For a time.

**joong:**

oh please, like you wouldn’t follow yeos--

**Superbaby:**

ANYWAY

SEE EVERYONE TONIGHT

FOR THE PARTY

THE HALLOWEEN PARTY

IN COSTUMES

BYE

BYE BYE BYE

**Mars:**

...And the crowd goes Yikes.

*******

**_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**Superbaby:**

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**joong:**

because, jongho

i have recently gotten myself together re: boys and i would like you to do the same

i’ll change the main chat name again

i’ll do it

**Superbaby:**

I AM GETTING MYSELF TOGETHER

I’m gonna talk to Yeosang tonight

At the party

We’re going to figure things out

I swear

Just stop embarrassing meeeeeeeeeeeee

**joong:**

as your father, i can’t guarantee i will

**Superbaby:**

I hate this fucking family

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

hey you

got any halloween plans?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

i’m going to a party with my friends

i dunno if it’s gonna be lame or not, but most frat parties are lol

what about you?

**sanshine:**

i was actually just about to invite you to a party, but i guess i’m too late :(

**ooohyoung:**

sorry :(

where’s your party gonna be?

**sanshine:**

at theta xi theta

**ooohyoung:**

oh

um

that’s

cool

**sanshine:**

you sound

absolutely not cool about it suddenly

**ooohyoung:**

that’s the party i’m going to, san.

**sanshine:**

awesome, i can’t wait to see you!

i miss you…

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t think you understand

i’m going to be there with my friends

who don’t know we’re… whatever we are

**sanshine:**

dating?

**ooohyoung:**

san, they don’t even know we’re _talking,_ remember?

**sanshine:**

i really don’t understand why you don’t just tell them. i hate feeling like i have to hide you. hide how i feel about you unless we’re completely alone.

**ooohyoung:**

i know

i’m

i’m sorry, okay?

i’m just in this fucking hole and it’s getting deeper and deeper and i thought it would be fine, i thought we’d just be friends and it wouldn’t get messy to hang out every once in a while

but now we’re

whatever we are

and we see each other all the time and talk all day and it’s gotten so big i literally just don’t even know what to say without them all hating me

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

how could anyone hate you?

**ooohyoung:**

you didn’t experience their initial reactions.

**sanshine:**

i didn’t

that’s true

**sanshine:**

look

okay

um

we won’t go to the party together

and i won’t go out of my way to be around you

i won’t out us to your friends

but i just need you to know

that if you come to this party looking as hot as i know you are, like, all the time

i refuse to be held responsible for dragging you away to an empty bedroom while they aren’t paying attention

**ooohyoung:**

so what you’re saying is, wear a paper bag over my head and nothing else

**sanshine:**

illegal

but somehow still hot

**ooohyoung:**

so it’s hopeless ;)

**sanshine:**

‘fraid so.

can’t wait to get my lips on you again…

**ooohyoung:**

you’re impossible!

**sanshine:**

you fuckin’ like it.

**ooohyoung:**

mmm guilty x

*******

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

come over

i need your opinion on something

**ooohyoung:**

oh?

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

if jongho isn’t gonna nut up and ask me out

i’m gonna make his night miserable

and by miserable i mean difficult

hard

painfully hard

what i mean is

he’s going to suffer

i’m going to break him down and make him beg for it

**ooohyoung:**

too far

for now

so you figured out that he doesn’t know what the fuck to do and is scared shitless, huh

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s pretty obvious

yesterday i passed him in the hall and said what’s up

and he stared at me for literally twenty seconds with his eyes all big and terrified

and then he muttered out something about my hair being pretty and ran away

he actually RAN

**ooohyoung:**

my god

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

so

if he wants some of this

he’s gonna have to come take it

**yeoyeoman:**

to clarify

i want him to

badly.

**ooohyoung:**

understood

i’ll be over asap to make sure you’re executing your halloween revenge sluttery properly.

**yeoyeoman:**

bless u

*******

**_WAS IT REALLY THAT SERIOUS THO_ **

**_Superbaby_ ** _added_ **_joong, Mars, uno bitches, MaNGo_ ** _and_ **_ooohyoung_ **

**Superbaby:**

WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING FUCKS DID THIS

WHICH ONE OF YOU IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YEOSANG

**joong:**

language

**Superbaby:**

Fuck language

I want answers

This is not okay

I am NOT OKAY

**MaNGo:**

your mans looks good

i dont see the problem

**Superbaby:**

The problem

Mingi

Is that Kang Fucking Yeosang is sitting on this very couch where I sit

Where we all sit

More or less

At this stupid party

Dressed as the Harley Quinn of my wet dreams

I can see fishnets

Do you understand

They are peeking through the holes of his jeans

Oh my god

Is he even wearing underwear

**ooohyoung:**

i could tell you if you’d really like to know

**Superbaby:**

I WOULD NOT BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING

**uno bitches:**

jongho

do you really think yeosang isn’t going to notice you angrily texting 

and wonder what your problem is

**Superbaby:**

I’m being covert!

**Mars:**

I can hear you hyperventilating from the other end of the couch

**Superbaby:**

Die

**Superbaby:**

As I was saying

The problem is that

Yeosang isn’t actually my mans

Because I am a chickenshit

And I feel like he knows

And he’s done this on purpose

**ooohyoung:**

wowie you’re a smart one

**Superbaby:**

DIE

**ooohyoung:**

nah i’m good

**Superbaby:**

God he looks so good

I wanna bite him

**uno bitches:**

where

**Superbaby:**

Undecided

Too many options

**joong:**

so when are you going to talk to him?

**Superbaby:**

After at least two shots and a beer

**MaNGo:**

brb acquiring drinks

lets get this bread

**joong:**

no one says that anymore

**MaNGo:**

you wanna stand up and say that to my face?

**joong:**

as you were

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

i’m here

where are you

i wanna see what you’re dressed as

*******

**_thanks_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

you doing okay tonight, jongho?

you seem

tense

:)

*******

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**MaNGo:**

uh

guys

we have a problem

**uno bitches:**

what’s up babe

**Mars:**

Is everything okay?

**Superbaby:**

I’m super ready to punch anyone in the face so please tell me if I need to

I have a lot of extra aggression tonight

For some reason

**yeoyeoman:**

inch resting.

**MaNGo:**

im in the kitchen getting drinks

and um

san’s here.

**joong:**

oh

shit

wooyoung?

do you want to leave?

**Mars:**

We can leave right now

Youre more important than this party

Even if Hongjoong is dressed like a tiny hot Jack Sparrow and I wanna do inappropriate things to him

We can do them at my place instead

**uno bitches:**

it’s totally your call, wooyoung

you say bounce, we bounce

**yeoyeoman:**

you say ignore all the gross things that come out of hongjoong or seonghwa’s mouths, we ignore all the gross things that come out of hongjoong or seonghwa’s mouths

**ooohyoung:**

guys it’s fine

we can occupy the same places without it being a problem

it’s not like i’m going to talk to him

and i doubt he’ll be talking to me

**MaNGo:**

yeah

actually

he seems to be alone

like

actively turning down every guy and or girl who tries to hit on him

im shocked

i have all our drinks but i cant stop watching

its like the discovery channel

a fuckboy in the wild

**ooohyoung:**

he’s not really a fuckboy

**uno bitches:**

and seonghwa and hongjoong aren’t making out on this couch right now

**yeoyeoman:**

this is indecent

**Superbaby:**

You know what’s indecent, hyung

Is

Oh, my drinks are here

Yay

**ooohyoung:**

anyway

i promise it’s fine, guys

i want to enjoy this party

san isn’t going to stop me

**uno bitches:** **  
**

okay

just know that we’ll fucking equalize him at any given moment if you say the word

**ooohyoung:**

no equalizing please

i’m gonna go find yeonjun!

**MaNGo:**

how about we all stop texting each other and actually like

dance, or something

we look like weirdos

**yeoyeoman:**

we _are_ the weirdos, mister.

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

oh my god

i can see you

are you really a gryffindor

i’m

**ooohyoung:**

and you’re a slytherin.

perfect.

**sanshine:**

excuse me, i am dragon malfoy, king of the slytherins

**ooohyoung:**

thought that was voldemorts

**sanshine:**

neither of us have actually read or seen harry potter, have we

**ooohyoung:**

nOPE

**sanshine:**

shameful

we should marathon sometime

anyway

you look incredibly hot

i mean, i didn’t expect otherwise

but this whole matching thing we accidentally pulled is really doing it for me

**ooohyoung:**

yeah i know

i can see your boner from over here

**sanshine:**

oh shut up

i’m hiding it well i think

**ooohyoung:**

sure

totally

lol

**sanshine:**

whateverrrrrrr

what are you doing, anyway

you look lost

**ooohyoung:**

trying not to look at you

pretending to look for my friend yeonjun

he’s throwing this party

i should say hi at least

**sanshine:**

good luck

i’ll be here

**ooohyoung:**

should we decide on a signal??

you know

for

a signal

that

**sanshine:**

it's time for me to steal you away and go down on you until you're literally sobbing in some poor fratboy's bedroom upstairs?

**ooohyoung:**

uh yeah

that

**sanshine:**

surprise me.

**ooohyoung:**

i will :D

anyway go talk to someone

the great choi san sequestering himself from the crowd is sus

**sanshine:**

ugh fine

see you later, gorgeous <3

**ooohyoung:**

definitely.

*******

**_thanks_ **

**Superbaby:**

Hyung

**Superbaby:**

HYUNG

**Superbaby:**

WHERE ARE YOU

**yeoyeoman:**

out on the balcony

waiting for you.

*******

“Hi, hyung, I’m drunk.”

Jongho knows it’s undignified, the way he flops down onto the concrete next to Yeosang, but he doesn’t quite care, at the moment. He’s _felt_ undignified all night, since the moment he saw Yeosang in his costume, and he feels it now, glancing next to him unsteadily at Yeosang’s legs, swinging back and forth slowly as they hang over the edge of the balcony. 

Yeosang smiles. It’s small and sweet and a little nervous, and Jongho’s glad that he’s not drunk enough to miss that detail. “Hi, drunk, I’m Yeosang,” he replies. Jongho giggles more than he should at the joke, letting out a little snort he can’t quite control while he’s at it. They look out over the campus together, dark and peaceful and silent save for the party raging near where they sit. 

Licking his lips, Jongho tries to think. He’s supposed to confess now, he guesses. Now would be a good time. He feels loose and electric and lazy all at once, more careless about what he says. What he lets other people know. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Jongho says after a while, and Yeosang hums an assent, eyes shining. Jongho wonders if maybe he’s a little drunk too, or just happy. He hopes happy is at least involved. Or, about to be, once he gets the words out of his mouth.

He doesn’t quite get there, the sentences get all confused and muddled with all the other thoughts he’s been having tonight, and so what he ends up asking is, “Are you even wearing underwear under those fishnets?”

It startles Yeosang, and he barks out a sharp, short laugh before his palm flies up to his mouth to cover it. Jongho doesn’t think before he reaches out to tug Yeosang’s hand away gently, and he doesn’t think about how he keeps holding it once he’s succeeded.

Finally, Yeosang manages to answer. “Yeah, Jongho, I’m wearing underwear. Can you even imagine what tight fishnet feels like on unclothed balls?” he says, shuddering involuntarily at the thought. Jongho barely hears him, honestly, he’s too busy gazing at the pink dusting Yeosang’s cheeks that he can see even in the moonlight, but when Yeosang goes on without warning, Jongho has no _choice_ but to pay attention.

First he sighs, and it gives way to a chuckle. “Fuck. I like you so much, Jongho,” Yeosang says, and then he pushes his fingers through Jongho’s and squeezes. The strength behind Yeosang’s grip does the trick of jarring Jongho back to reality and averting his eyes down to where their hands are clasped. _This is it. No going back now._

“I like you too,” Jongho says quietly, more to their hands than to Yeosang himself. “I think… I think maybe I have for a long time, but I just. I didn’t know I could do this. I didn’t even know I could try. I thought you were just… impossible,” he admits, blurting out the realizations as he has them.

When he meets Yeosang’s eyes again, there’s tenderness in them, and maybe something a bit sad, and Jongho doesn’t like that part at all. But, he waits it out anyway, because it’s Yeosang’s turn. 

“Maybe I am,” Yeosang muses. “I haven’t exactly had the best luck.” He watches as Jongho lifts their hands and turns them gently, and his lips brush the soft skin of Yeosang's knuckles for the briefest moment.

Yeosang’s blushing again.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Jongho murmurs against Yeosang's warm fingers. _Even his HAND is heavenly,_ he thinks to himself. “I don’t know the first thing about being what you need.”

“Sure you do,” Yeosang reasons. Jongho raises an eyebrow at him, expectant. Yeosang scoots closer, pulling his legs up from the ledge and planting one foot on either side of Jongho’s crossed legs. He’s barely an inch from Jongho’s face when he takes a breath and Jongho thinks maybe he might know what Yeosang needs, after all. Every now and then, at least.

“Kiss me,” Yeosang breathes.

That, Jongho can do.

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**ooohyoung:**

so i’m guessing

i don’t actually have to put out a signal

i think you leaning against the wall eyeing me up and down like you wanna fucking devour me is a pretty good signal

**sanshine:**

that’s just how my face looks

**ooohyoung:**

only when i’m around

**sanshine:**

you got me ;)

**ooohyoung:**

mmm i’m about to

**sanshine:**

third bedroom on the right upstairs

race you.

**ooohyoung:**

NO FAIR YOU’RE LITERALLY STANDING BY THE STAIRS

KAJFANFJANSFKJANFJASLFKJASLSFAD:FJN

i’ll get you back, you know

**sanshine:**

i’m counting on it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bitch is back, y'all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**joong:**

alright kid

you ready to do this?

**Superbaby:**

Hyung

I was born ready.

**_GAYS (and jongho)_ **

**joong:**

ATTENTION GAYS

EVERYONE’S PRESENCE IS REQUIRED FOR A VERY SPECIAL ROLL CALL

**ooohyoung:**

oh, worm?

**Mars:**

Here

**uno bitches:**

holla

**yeoyeoman:**

sup

**MaNGo:**

hewwo

**Superbaby:**

Hey

**yeoyeoman:**

hey :)

**Superbaby:**

Hi :)

**joong:**

cool

**Superbaby:**

Hongjoong-hyung, you have the floor.

**joong:**

3

2

1

**_joong_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_GAYS!!!_ **

**joong:**

:)

**Superbaby:**

:)

**yeoyeoman:**

mother fucking HEART EYES 

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

**Superbaby:**

**😘😘😘😘**

**Mars:**

SCREAMING

**joong:**

he really is

**ooohyoung:**

ALSO SCREAMING

**yeoyeoman:**

he really is

**uno bitches:**

U W U

**MaNGo:**

man hell yeah

**ooohyoung:**

we should declare today a national holiday

the day when jongho FOMO’d himself into a whole queerlationship

he had homo FOMO

**Superbaby:**

Omg stop

Besides, that day was like almost 3 weeks ago at this point

**yeoyeoman:**

23 days, actually

**Superbaby:**

Uwu

**yeoyeoman:**

mingi i need one of your ridiculous kaomojis for these emotions i am having

**MaNGo:**

ლζ*♡ε♡*ζლ

**Superbaby:**

The speed with which you whip those out is terrifying

**Mars:**

Phrasing

**MaNGo:**

macros

**yeoyeoman:**

that one hurts my eyes

too wiggly

do something slightly

less

**MaNGo:**

(♥ω♥ ) ~♪

?

**yeoyeoman:**

acceptable

**MaNGo:**

*uwus aggressively*

**_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**joong:**

you sure you’re good with just leaving it at capital G gay?

**Superbaby:**

I am. I really am. :)

*******

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**Superbaby:**

Oh hyung, I forgot to mention that I finally got a chance to meet San properly this morning

**ooohyoung:**

oh?

that’s

um

neat?

right?

isn’t it?

it’s probably fine

i don’t know why i’m nervous

haha

i’m so weird

**Superbaby:**

...Truly.

**ooohyoung:**

sorry.

i’m

i’m fine.

how was it?

**Superbaby:**

It was alright

He was actually really nice

He was on his way out but when I told him my name he said he remembered you mentioning me 

So he bought me breakfast before my shift and we hung out and ate together

**ooohyoung:**

wow

that’s

cool

coolcoolcool

did he say anything else about me?

**Superbaby:**

Not really

We mostly talked about the supermarket and how I’m liking it

**ooohyoung:**

oh

**Superbaby:**

Sorry

If you were, like

Hoping he’d say something about you?

**ooohyoung:**

nonono

i definitely wasn’t

there’s nothing to say about me

i’m pretty boring haha

**Superbaby:**

No you’re not.

**ooohyoung:**

i know

haha

**Superbaby:**

...Anyway

He said this is just one of a few jobs he has

But when I asked him why he works so much he got really quiet and changed the subject

**ooohyoung:**

i see

**Superbaby:**

Then we talked about the muffins he got us for breakfast from the bakery department

**ooohyoung:**

oh

were they

interesting muffins

**Superbaby:**

Not particularly

**ooohyoung:**

oh

**Superbaby:**

So that was about it

But my verdict is that he’s nice

He doesn’t seem like a monster or anything

So

There you go

**ooohyoung:**

yeah i

don’t think he is.

**ooohyoung:**

well thanks, jongho

i really appreciate you doing that for me even if the reasons were somewhat...

**Superbaby:**

Flawed?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

flawed

**Superbaby:**

It’s okay, hyung. 

That’s human nature for you

**ooohyoung:**

i suppose so

lol

anyway

how are things with yeosang? he doesn’t tell me much, but he seems really happy

thank you for that

it’s been a long time

**Superbaby:**

It’s pretty easy to make him happy, I’ve found :)

**ooohyoung:**

it’s not.

so

thank you

**Superbaby:**

You’re welcome :)

I’m actually about to head out to meet him after his class and walk him home

Well

I’ll walk and he’ll skateboard

Slowly

I keep telling him I can keep up but he doesn’t believe me

**ooohyoung:**

lol

he just doesn’t want to get distracted by your calves flexing while you run ;)

might fall off his board and break himself

**Superbaby:**

Mmm he’s not that breakable.

**ooohyoung:**

gonna go ahead and stop you right there.

**Superbaby:**

Wise.

*******

**_Tired_** ** _™_ **

**joong:**

baby, can you come over when you get a chance?

aka right now if possible

i need your help with something

*******

**Mars:**

Sorry, I was in class

**Mars:**

But Joongie, we talked about this 

You can just tell me if you want to have sex and I will come right over

You dont have to hide your thotness behind random requests

**joong:**

......

okay but this is actually a random request

**Mars:**

Cute

Youre so cute

Whats that code for this week?

**joong:**

seonghwa i need your help

seriously

**Mars:**

I know baby

Im gonna be there in a bit

You better be naked by the time I show up

**joong:**

SEONGHWA

THIS IS A NON SEXUAL PROBLEM

I’M SO HUNGRY

AND

**Mars:**

Oh

OH

Did your roommate hide the big dictionary again so you have nothing to step on to get to the top shelves of the pantry?

Ugh I love how small you are

Makes me feel all helpful and noble and chivalrous and 

Asjfaskjfsasjdflaksjf

**joong:**

listen bitch

i may not be able to reach the top shelf of the pantry but i can still suck ur dick while you do it for me

**Mars:**

I love when conversations come full circle.

*******

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**yeoyeoman:**

you’re late, boyfriend.

**Superbaby:**

What?? You get out of class at 2:45!

**yeoyeoman:**

prof let us go early

pretty sure he was still hungover from whatever he did last night

**Superbaby:**

Why didn’t you tell me, I would have come earlier!

**yeoyeoman:**

i got distracted

**Superbaby:**

By?

**yeoyeoman:**

thinking about you

**Superbaby:**

Aw

Ugh I probably look like an idiot

Speed walking through the quad with this big grin on my face

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah, but you’re my idiot

**Superbaby:**

Kang Yeosang I just giggled out loud

I have a reputation to protect!

**yeoyeoman:**

sorry, sorry

i won’t ruin your Big Strong Man aura anymore, promise

**Superbaby:**

What if I want you to?

**yeoyeoman:**

we have the technology

**Superbaby:**

I’m almost there, babe

Don’t throw all that cute at just anybody

**yeoyeoman:**

nah

it’s only 4 u

**Superbaby:**

🥰🥰

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

everybody!

we almost forgot what with jongho’s very special moment this morning

but it’s kind of an important day for mingi and i

it’s our eleven month anniversary

**ooohyoung:**

eleven? why’s eleven important?

**MaNGo:**

because everyone celebrates a year

why wait

thats my question

**Superbaby:**

...Because it’s a year.

**Mars:**

^^^

**MaNGo:**

boring

typical

not what im interested in

**yeoyeoman:**

yunho, are you actually into this or did mingi just drag you into his insanity once again

**uno bitches:**

look

i would literally fight like three hundred bees for mingi

maybe three hundred and two

if he wants to celebrate our eleven month anniversary that’s what we’re going to do

**MaNGo:**

fuckin U W U

**joong:**

i continue to be baffled and slightly amazed by your relationship

**ooohyoung:**

mood

**MaNGo:**

anyway

at first we were going to make it a private celebration

dinner

drinks

me for dessert

**Mars:**

Feel free to stop at any time.

**uno bitches:**

but THEN we thought

you all are our best friends in the world

hell, we wouldn’t even BE together if yeosang hadn’t introduced us

**yeoyeoman:**

you’re welcome

**MaNGo:**

so we want you guys to celebrate with us!

were gonna go to the bar tonight

i hope nobody had any plans

because this just became the most important night of your whole lives

**Superbaby:**

I doubt that somehow, but I’m down anyways

**yeoyeoman:**

same

**Mars:**

Ill definitely be there! 

**joong:**

me too

**ooohyoung:**

downnnnnn

**uno bitches:**

great!

thanks, guys!

**MaNGo:**

you can find our gift registry on amazon

**Mars:**

...What The Fuck

**joong:**

they showed it to me

it was essentially a list of the weirdest sex toys they could find

i took that bullet for all of us

save yourselves

**yeoyeoman:**

...i have to leave right now immediately

**ooohyoung:**

is there a kaomoji for “gross”

**MaNGo:**

i only know cute ones, sorry

**Superbaby:**

What’s the kaomoji for “projectile vomits, but like, in a cute way”?

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

i met your friend jongho today

he’s really cool :)

**ooohyoung:**

oh yeah?

how’d that go

**sanshine:**

fine

why wouldn’t it be fine?

**ooohyoung:**

i dunno

**sanshine:**

i didn’t tell him, you know

**ooohyoung:**

i know

it’s okay

i’m glad you guys got along

**sanshine:**

yeah totally!

it’s nice having someone you know not think i’m an asshole :P

**ooohyoung:**

yeah lol

**sanshine:**

woo

what’s wrong

**ooohyoung:**

nothing!

why do you always think something is wrong

**sanshine:**

i don’t know

you just seem sad

**ooohyoung:**

i’m not

i’m tired

i’m just tired

**sanshine:**

maybe you should head to bed early

get some rest 

**ooohyoung:**

i can’t

we’re all about to go to the bar for some ridiculous eleven month anniversary party for my friends

**sanshine:**

eleven?

**ooohyoung:**

you heard me right

**sanshine:**

i’m

**ooohyoung:**

me too lol

i wish you could come

i’m tired

**sanshine:**

you said that already…

**ooohyoung:**

no i mean like

in a different way

i’m tired of not being able to

of not

i’m tired of being confused and hiding things

i don’t know what i want anymore

**sanshine:**

this is starting to sound like a breakup

**ooohyoung:**

san

we’re not dating

you know that

**sanshine:**

it kind of seems like we are

we hang out all the time

we go on dates

we sleep together

that’s

that’s dating, wooyoung

**ooohyoung:**

i can’t date you

it would cause too many problems

**sanshine:**

or maybe it would fix them

in the end

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t know

i still feel like you won’t let me in all the way

you won’t tell me about things

like

i know you

but it seems like i don’t really know much ABOUT you

**sanshine:**

i’m choi san

20

zodiac sign cancer

i’m a dance major

i like plushies

and you

**ooohyoung:**

san

those aren’t really THINGS

**sanshine:**

how are they not

**ooohyoung:**

those things aren’t YOU

i don’t know what the happiest moment of your life was

i don’t know anything about your first love

your first heartbreak

i don’t know why you sleep around

**sanshine:**

i don’t anymore.

**ooohyoung:**

fine

but

you know what i’m saying

i know facts

but i don’t know YOU

because you won’t let me

**sanshine:**

i want you to, wooyoung.

**ooohyoung:**

then let me!

**sanshine:**

then stop keeping me a secret.

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t know how

but i do know that tonight is the wrong time

this night is for my friends

i don’t want to make it about me

i don’t want to have that argument tonight

**sanshine:**

alright

that’s fair

but wooyoung, you need to tell them.

soon

please, baby.

it’s your secret to tell

**ooohyoung:**

okay

i’ll

i’ll figure it out

i don’t know if it’ll help me figure us out

but i guess we’ll see

i’ll do it soon, okay?

**sanshine:**

okay

i believe you

i didn’t want to fight today :(

**ooohyoung:**

it’s okay

that was barely a fight

that was just me being a dipshit as usual

i’ve never had to deal with anything like this before

especially not something i basically did to myself

i’m trying, san

**sanshine:**

i know you are

i’m trying too

**ooohyoung:**

can i ask you a question?

**sanshine:**

i can’t promise i’ll answer

but yes

**ooohyoung:**

why did you stop

**sanshine:**

stop what

**ooohyoung:**

you know

**sanshine:**

i know

**sanshine:**

i stopped for you. because of you

**ooohyoung:**

but why

i’m not that special

**sanshine:**

you’re special to me

i’ve never met anyone like you

**ooohyoung:**

like me?

what am i like?

**sanshine:**

everything i didn’t know i wanted.

**ooohyoung:**

i’ll tell them soon. i swear

i have to go to the party now

i’m sorry

**sanshine:**

don’t be

have a good time :)

**ooohyoung:**

i’ll try x

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**Mars:**

Why is it that

We have been at this bar for an hour

And Mingi and Yunho disappeared after ten minutes to "go to the bathroom" and they have not returned yet

**yeoyeoman:**

because they’re fucking in there

**Mars:**

That was a rhetorical question

**joong:**

it’s their party

let’s just

try not to think about it

**ooohyoung:**

HYUNG BUY ME MORE SHOTS

**Mars:**

No

**ooohyoung:**

SANGIE BUY ME MORE SHOTS

**yeoyeoman:**

how many have you had

i haven’t been paying attention

**Superbaby:**

Sorry not sorry

**ooohyoung:**

i’ve only had like somewhere between one and five

**joong:**

is it closer to one or five

**ooohyoung:**

yes

**yeoyeoman:**

fine

you can have one more 

then it’s cutoff time

**ooohyoung:**

but whyyyyyyyy

**yeoyeoman:**

because

i’m not going to end this night by dragging you away from two jacked dudes while you try to dance up on them

**ooohyoung:**

i never TRY anything

i just do it

**Superbaby:**

Babe you didn’t bring your wallet

Remember

You said “Seonghwa will pay for everything, fuck it”

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

right

well

did you bring yours?

**Superbaby**

****...Yes

**Superbaby:**

Omg stooooooooooooooop

Don’t give me The Face

I can’t handle it

**joong:**

what face is he making

i can’t see him from my spot in line

and i’m not moving from my spot in line until i have drinks for me and seonghwa

**Superbaby:**

This one

🥺🥺🥺🥺

It’s deadly

I can’t resist it

**yeoyeoman:**

i’ll pay you back

**Superbaby:**

Shhh I don’t want your money, handsome

**yeoyeoman:**

oh, i didn’t mean with money

**Superbaby:**

...I’m gonna buy Wooyoung his drink and then maybe we should go have our own party

**yeoyeoman:**

Maybe We Should.

**ooohyoung:**

i just realized everyone has someone tonight except me

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho, buy the man two drinks and then let’s get the fuck out of here.

**joong:**

godspeed, my lil horny ones.

**Mars:**

God I hate being the designated Adult.

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

holy shit last night was such a bad idea

who let us do that

on a wednesday

A WEDNESDAY

WHO GETS LIT ON A FUCKING WEDNESDAY

**MaNGo:**

stop being loud

my head is caving in

i welcome death

**uno bitches:**

i can’t believe i have to go to class rn

**Mars:**

I am sorry you are suffering

I feel great, in case youre concerned

**uno bitches:**

i wasn’t

**Mars:**

Im assuming Yeosang and Jongho made it home safe?

**Superbaby:**

You assume correctly

**Mars:**

Hows your hangovers?

**Superbaby:**

Mine's nonexistent

My body chemistry is superior

Get on my level

**Mars:**

And Yeosang?

**Superbaby:**

Hes not faring quite as well

Things got a little… rambunctious when we got home

He has regrets but I can confidently say they’re not sexual in nature

**MaNGo:**

oh my god im gonna start throwing up again

**uno bitches:**

i’m going to class now

goodbye

*******

**joong:**

can someone explain to me how i lost a shoe

**ooohyoung:**

only if you tell me whose number is on this sweaty napkin i found in my back pocket

**yeoyeoman:**

this chat is a Fucking Mess

goodnight

**Mars:**

it’s 9 in the morning

**yeoyeoman:**

and

*******

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

baby?

baby i need to talk to you right now

i think i fucked up

i think i messed up really bad

please answer me i’m so sorry

i didn’t mean to

it was an accident

**sanshine:**

WOOYOUNG PLEASE

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

EVERYONE GET THE FUCK IN THE CHAT RIGHT NOW

I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU’RE DOING

IT’S NOT IMPORTANT COMPARED TO THIS

**MaNGo:**

did i not say to stop yelling

**Mars:**

Whats going on? Are you okay?

**yeoyeoman:**

i really need to start turning my notifications off for this chat

**Superbaby:**

Go back to sleep, I’ll find out what’s wrong

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

**uno bitches:**

DO NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP

**joong:**

um

hello

why

why is yelly yunho here

**_second chances, period_ **

**ooohyoung:**

san? what’s wrong?

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

i’m so, so sorry

**ooohyoung:**

for what??

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

so i ran into someone on my way back from class

an interesting blast from the past

can’t believe he remembered me

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

i didn’t know you were friends with yunho, i swear

i didn’t mean to say anything about you

it just

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

i’m talking about choi san, in case anyone’s curious

**yeoyeoman:**

why

i turned off my notifications but they beeped anyway

who said san

**uno bitches:**

I DID

**uno bitches:**

san and i had a nice little chat tbh

did some catching up

seems like he’s been up to a lot since The Fuckening

seems like he’s been fuckening someone new these days

**_second chances, period_ **

**sanshine:**

wooyoung please say something

please forgive me

it wasn’t on purpose

i’m sorry

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

jung wooyoung.

start explaining.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes hello I hated writing this chapter with every fiber of my being, but it was necessary to the plot. 
> 
> I hate angst. I hate writing arguments. Mayhaps I cried while writing this (I did). Sorry it's so short, but have I mentioned I hate writing angst and I also put it off until the very last second and ok byebye please be nice to me in the comments I'm fragile rn
> 
> DON'T WORRY THERE'S STILL GONNA BE A HAPPY ENDING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_second chances, period_ **

**_ooohyoung_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_._ **

**ooohyoung:**

we need to talk.

*******

**sanshine:**

i’ve been trying to talk to you

i’ve been trying for a week

i came to your dorm twice and your roommate told me you were chasing an ice cream truck both times

**ooohyoung**

maybe i was

**sanshine:**

i could see you lying on the couch watching the fault in our stars

both times

**ooohyoung:**

it’s my emotional support movie

**sanshine:**

that’s bleak

**ooohyoung:**

so’s life

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

the point is

i told you that i accidentally told yunho about us

i was ready to talk to you about it

i apologized over and over

and you froze me out

you disappeared

**ooohyoung:**

so

**sanshine:**

so, that’s not fair

not to me or to yourself

**ooohyoung:**

what do you know about what’s fair to me

**sanshine:**

okay

you’re upset

i get that

it’s allowed

but this isn’t the end of the world

they would have found out eventually

**ooohyoung:**

i suppose they would have, san

at a different time and in a different situation i had some sort of control over

instead of it being thrown at me out of nowhere when i had absolutely no reason to expect it

it was thrown at me and i fell over and then everyone spent the next two hours kicking me while i was down

my best friend called me a “walking turd with eyes”

do you understand how that feels

**sanshine:**

no

um

am i allowed to laugh though

that’s pretty funny

**ooohyoung:**

no

you’re not allowed to laugh

and it isn’t funny

thanks to you i haven’t heard from any of my best friends in a week

they’ve all shut me out

well, except jongho

and he had to change my name to “professor shitbox” in his phone so no one would get suspicious

and he only talks to me to tell me everyone’s still mad at me

**sanshine:**

professor shitbox

i feel like that’s

extremely suspicious

**ooohyoung:**

who cares

like honestly, who cares about anything

**sanshine:**

i care about you

**ooohyoung:**

stop

**sanshine:**

it doesn’t work like that

**ooohyoung:**

it fucking should

you managed to stop caring about me long enough to do the one thing i asked you not to do

**sanshine:**

i know you don’t mean that

**ooohyoung:**

maybe i do

i didn’t ask much

it wasn’t that hard

**sanshine:**

oh okay, wooyoung

you didn’t ask much, huh

you just asked me to lie about my feelings in nearly every situation and almost every moment of my life

you asked me not to talk about you to anyone when all i wanted to do was scream about how fucking amazing i think you are

you treated me like your dirty little secret when i should have been allowed to be your boyfriend and act like it

and now you’re asking me to just lie down and accept you insulting me when really, this is ENTIRELY your fault.

**ooohyoung:**

how is this entirely my fault???

you’re the one everyone i know hates!!!

i didn’t MAKE them hate you!!

**sanshine:**

and what they think of me doesn’t really matter, as far as i’m concerned

all that matters is what _you_ think of me

and now i know

on your list of priorities, i’m somewhere below lying but above not getting laid

**ooohyoung:**

that’s not true

i cared about you

no matter how hard i tried not to

**sanshine:**

...past tense?

**ooohyoung:**

do you want to know WHY all my friends hate you, san?

**sanshine:**

i want to know why “cared” is past tense

**ooohyoung:**

i’ll tell you why they hate you

BECAUSE YOU’VE FUCKED ALL OF THEM

yunho

mingi

MAYBE EVEN YEOSANG

HOLY SHIT

IS THAT WHY HE HATES YOU THE MOST

**sanshine:**

......

you’re friends with kang yeosang?

**ooohyoung:**

he’s my fucking best friend

he’s been my best friend since i was nine

and i liked you so much i thought it was worth lying to him just so i could spend time with you

they all warned me

all of them

and i didn’t listen

**sanshine:**

why didn’t you tell me you were friends with yeosang

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t see why it’s important

**sanshine:**

i

**ooohyoung:**

anyway did you not hear all the other names

yunho

mingi

**sanshine:**

yes

i heard them

**ooohyoung:**

well, what do you have to say for yourself???

**sanshine:**

what do you want me to say, wooyoung?

**ooohyoung:**

THE TRUTH

JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH ABOUT WHY YOU WERE LIKE THAT

WHY YOU HURT EVERYONE I KNOW

WHY YOU HURT THEM SO BAD I FELT LIKE I HAD TO HIDE US FROM THEM

**sanshine:**

yunho didn’t seem all that hurt

he seemed fine, actually

he was pretty nice until i messed up

**ooohyoung:**

ok well yunho has the emotional intelligence of a dull pencil, then

**sanshine:**

i don’t think that’s true

he mentioned he’s been dating mingi for quite a while

by all indications they have a nice relationship

were they the ones you went to the party for?

i think that’s really sweet.

**ooohyoung:**

LSKJLKSJLKSJ;LSKJLKJAKJ

**sanshine:**

just tell me what you want to hear, wooyoung.

i’ll say it.

**ooohyoung:**

i want to hear that you’re sorry

**sanshine:**

I’VE BEEN APOLOGIZING FOR A WEEK

**ooohyoung:**

for fucking all my friends

**sanshine:**

wooyoung

**ooohyoung:**

for making it so hard for us to be together

**sanshine:**

only if you apologize for your part in that too

**ooohyoung:**

NO

YOU APOLOGIZE

**sanshine:**

you want me to say i’m sorry that i used to sleep around?

i’m not

you want me to say i’m sorry that i hurt your friends?

i’m not

i was completely open about what i wanted and what i didn’t want

i never led anyone on

i made sure every single time that i was on the same page with everyone i messed around with

if i did all that and they still let their feelings get involved, that isn’t my fault

i’m not going to apologize

i’m just not

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t know

how to respond to that

**sanshine:**

what? you can’t fucking handle it when i finally break?

tough shit, wooyoung

you have no idea why i did the things i did

i know that

and i know it’s because i haven’t told you

but i’m not required to

it was before you came into my life and changed it

you changed it all

and i’m not that person anymore

it shouldn’t matter

**ooohyoung:**

san, i

**sanshine:**

and just for the record

i WOULD have told you

i would have told you everything you ever wanted to know

all i wanted first was for you to be proud to be with me

but you were ashamed

**ooohyoung:**

no i wasn’t

**sanshine:**

fuck off yes you were

so ashamed that you lied to your own friends about it

for MONTHS

MONTHS

**ooohyoung:**

san

**sanshine:**

no

stop

listen to me for once

i may have done a lot of shit in my life

but i’ve never been ashamed of myself

or who i loved

**ooohyoung:**

wait, what?

**sanshine:**

yeah

you fucking heard me

i love you

you’re a complete asshole

and i'm in love with you

**ooohyoung:**

you told me you couldn't

you told me it was because i was lying to everyone

**sanshine:**

i guess that’s the one lie i told _you,_ then.

**ooohyoung:**

i

i can’t fucking do this

i have to go.

**sanshine:**

wooyoung, wait

please

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry

for everything

i really am

**sanshine:**

don’t do this

**ooohyoung:**

goodbye, san.

_Are you sure you want to block this number? [ **Yes** or No]_

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hello

anyone

**ooohyoung:**

i know everyone’s mad at me but

look

i

i really need a friend

please

**ooohyoung:**

anyone??

**_mom and dad and me_ **

**Mars:**

Babe Im sorry

I cant just not

**joong:**

no i know

it’s fine

that was getting pretty rough

**ooohyoung:**

thank you hyungs

honestly thank you so much

i missed you so so much

and

and in case i don’t say it enough

i love you both

i love all of you

oh god

i fucked up

i fucked up so bad guys

oeifhha)Egin

**Mars:**

Wooyoung?

**ooohyoung:**

ifell offfmy bed

cause c ryinggf

**joong:**

babe, start the car.

**Mars:**

Were on our way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The number of chapters has been updated, friends! We're headed towards the end...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_Jongho’s Feelings Dumpster_ **

**joong:**

son

talk to wooyoung

don’t be a dick

**Superbaby:**

I have been talking to him

**joong:**

oh

well

okay then

**_Tired™_ **

**joong:**

well that was easy

your turn

**_Hey_ **

**_Mars_ ** _added_ **_MaNGo_ **

**Mars:**

Mingi

Its enough

Apologize to Wooyoung

Talk to him

He needs his friends

**MaNGo:**

i have to ask my yunho

**Mars:**

Disgusting

**_Tired™_ **

**Mars:**

Moderate success

Tag, youre it

**joong:**

wait

no

i

you’re not going to make me talk to yeosang alone

i can’t be responsible for all…

that

**Mars:**

Yes you can

The two of us will overwhelm him if we try together and he might shut down

You know how he is

Just get him to listen to you

Just try

**joong:**

ugh

i’ll do what i can

**_hey buddy_ **

**_joong_ ** _added_ **_yeoyeoman_ **

**joong:**

hey

how are you

**yeoyeoman:**

oh i’m fine

**joong:**

...you are?

**yeoyeoman:**

sure hyung

i’m doing super great

i lost my best friend

and the last thing i said to him was

“suck my ass, you walking turd with eyes”

that’s the impression i left him with

so

y’know

i’m doing awesome 

no worries whatsoever

definitely not horribly lonely outside of jongho

don’t tell him i said this but wooyoung is like ten jonghos as far as absolute affectionate, excited and hyper supportive company

i miss him

he fucked up and i don’t trust him anymore 

but i miss him

so to sort of wrap everything up and circle back to the main point

i’m fine

**joong:**

um

okay

we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that

**yeoyeoman:**

good

i like my emotional suitcases

i like them to remain closed

that way they let out less of my idiotic word vomit

**joong:**

i mean

have you tried word vomiting on wooyoung

**yeoyeoman:**

no

he thinks i hate him

i have an image to uphold

**joong:**

of hatred?

**yeoyeoman:**

of someone who sticks to their word

unlike him

**joong:**

yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

don’t say it

i know

**joong:**

have you talked to jongho about this?

about what you’re feeling?

he’s pretty level-headed, i’m sure he could give you sound advice

**yeoyeoman:**

i mean

he was there while i bawled hysterically for about two hours after the news

couldn’t really talk at that point

later i yelled some

then i decided i was done thinking and we spent the rest of the night in bed

not sleeping

iykwim

**joong:**

so if we ignore that last bit of info

which we are

**yeoyeoman:**

:)

**joong:**

basically, the answer is no

you haven’t used your own boyfriend as a sounding board

even though he’s fully capable of giving you logical and well thought out opinions

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t want to bother him with this

**joong:**

with your life?

**_Tired™_ **

**joong:**

this is going to take a while

just move on to yunho

**Mars:**

Roger that

**_hey buddy_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

no

with my craziness

with my inability to be a good person

or let go of a stand once i take it

**joong:**

yeosang

you ARE a good person

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t know, hyung

this is pretty much my fault

if i had just kept my mouth shut at the beginning

if i had just been happy for wooyoung

it wouldn’t have gone this way

**joong:**

well, that ship has sailed

you know

if you ever want to tell me what happened with san

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t

**joong:**

and you don’t have to

i hope you understand that

you’re allowed to have secrets that are yours

i was only offering to help if you wanted to get it all out

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

i

thank you, or whatever

i just don’t think talking about it would change anything

**joong:**

talking to wooyoung might change something

might make things better

**yeoyeoman:**

he’ll probably just tell me to go to hell

i wouldn’t blame him

**joong:**

i don’t think he would

you may have lost him in that fight, but he lost you AND san AND all of us

well, until me and seonghwa broke

oh and also apparently jongho has been talking to him this entire time

**yeoyeoman:**

that beautiful traitor

i’m not even mad

that’s how much i like jongho

**joong:**

soft

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

now in the twilight of my life i realize that more than ever

**joong:**

don’t be such a fucking edgelord

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t know what else to be

**joong:**

a normal person

**yeoyeoman:**

sounds fake

i’d rather just bottle up all my emotions and keep them at right about chest level

and then one day

i’ll die

**joong:**

talking with you is always an uplifting and singular pleasure, yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

a truly inimitable experience, i know

**joong:**

talk to wooyoung

**yeoyeoman:**

honestly

i’m too tired to say no again.

**_hello_ **

**_Mars_ ** _added_ **_uno bitches_ **

**Mars:**

yunho

it’s time to talk to wooyoung and make things right

he deserves an apology from you

**uno bitches:**

oh

u rite u rite

**_hi wooyoungie_ **

**_uno bitches_ ** _added_ **_ooohyoung_ **

**uno bitches:**

hey weirdo

you alright?

**ooohyoung:**

not really

how are you?

**uno bitches:**

okay

except that i owe you an apology

**ooohyoung:**

yunho, no you don’t

it wasn’t your fault

it was an accident

everything about this has been one accident after the other

**uno bitches:**

let me finish

i do owe you an apology

even though i was the one who found out about you and san, i should have talked to you about it instead of telling it to the entire chat

that WAS my fault

i was confused and mad and my mouth got ahead of my brain

**ooohyoung:**

honestly?

i’m glad you did it

it wasn’t a great time or situation, true

but, shit

i might never have

i might have kept hurting san and myself forever

until he got tired of me

**uno bitches:**

who’s to say he would have?

**ooohyoung:**

he would have

i’m exhausting

**uno bitches:**

maybe

but like

in a fun way

**ooohyoung:**

lol

thanks i think

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

**_hi wooyoungie_ **

**ooohyoung:**

listen

i’ve gotta go, yunho

i think yeosang wants to talk

i’m nervous

**uno bitches:**

it’s gonna be okay

i promise

i believe in the power of friendship!

**ooohyoung:**

i admire your optimism

**uno bitches:**

sometimes optimism is all one has

optimism and best friends

later dude

**ooohyoung:**

bye <3

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hi 

**yeoyeoman:**

i

i don’t know what to say

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry, yeosang

i shouldn’t have lied to you

to any of you

i wasn’t thinking right

i had all these feelings

i was sad and happy and scared and um

**yeoyeoman:**

aroused?

**ooohyoung:**

i was going to say hormonal

same difference i suppose

**yeoyeoman:**

look

i’m sorry too

i truly am

i know i said that i would be cool about you and san

but i wasn’t

i lied too

**ooohyoung:**

no you didn’t

i know you tried

i wish you would just _tell me_ what happened

**yeoyeoman:**

it shouldn’t matter

it shouldn’t affect your relationship

there’s no reason for my past to affect your present and i see that now

**ooohyoung:**

but there is

your past IS my past

it’s been you and me for half my life, yeosang

everything that happened to you

it happened to me too

**yeoyeoman:**

no, wooyoung

some things are just mine

and some things are just yours

and i should have just let san be yours

**ooohyoung:**

i wanted him to be

i wanted it so bad

so i just

kept lying

because it was the only way i could see for it to work without making anyone angry

**yeoyeoman:**

i get that

with the way i was acting i’m not surprised you felt like that was your only option

**ooohyoung:**

i still shouldn’t have done it

i was wrong

**yeoyeoman:**

me too

two wrongs don’t make a right and all that

**yeoyeoman:**

look

it’s

it’s hard for me to fully trust you right now

**ooohyoung:**

that’s kinda reasonable

i get it

**yeoyeoman:**

but i will, wooyoung

you’re my best friend in the entire fucking world

one stupidly apocalyptic argument isn’t going to change that in the long run

one boy isn’t going to change that

**ooohyoung:**

thank you

thank you so much, yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

please don’t thank me

so much of this is my fault

let’s just

let’s just try, okay?

we can try to do better by each other

**ooohyoung:**

i will try

i’ll try so hard, i promise

**yeoyeoman:**

i will too

and

um

i know that you stopped talking to san

but

**ooohyoung:**

no

there’s no buts

it’s done

i asked him not to tell anyone about us and he did exactly that

he’s as bad as we were

**yeoyeoman:**

he told one person

a friend of yours

he didn’t tell jongho, who works at the same supermarket

he told yunho because it was a natural progression of whatever conversation they had

people make mistakes

we know that better than most right now

**ooohyoung:**

are you _defending_ san?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

yes

i don’t know

i’m just saying

in a completely platonic way

that if we were un-platonic

i would literally never shut up about how great you are

so like

in a weird way

i understand him

**ooohyoung:**

he told me he couldn’t fall in love with me because of all the lies i was telling

then he told me he loved me anyway

in the middle of an argument

i felt

it made me feel

**yeoyeoman:**

like the worst person in the world?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah basically

so i just couldn’t keep it up

i couldn’t keep hurting him

**yeoyeoman:**

did you ever think that maybe you’re still hurting him by cutting off contact?

if he’s in love with you

that doesn’t just go away

**ooohyoung:**

he’ll get over it

i’m easy to get over

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s not true

in a totally platonic way

i don’t think i’d ever get over you

i mean

i thought i’d have to

i thought you’d never talk to me again

and it was the absolute worst

**ooohyoung:**

i definitely considered never talking to you again

those were some pretty hefty names you called me

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m very sorry

i didn’t mean any of them

at all

**ooohyoung:**

i know

but goddamn bro

**yeoyeoman:**

would you like to call me some names

to make it even

i’ll let you

**ooohyoung:**

sure

ummmm

let me think

**ooohyoung:**

you’re a 

you’re

a

BUTTHEAD

:D

YOU GOT A BIG HEAD THAT LOOKS LIKE A BUTT

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m wounded

**ooohyoung:**

that was satisfying

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m glad

**yeoyeoman:**

let’s go back to the main chat, yeah?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah :)

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hi everyone :)

**Mars:**

Hi!

**joong:**

whaddup

**yeoyeoman:**

aloha

**uno bitches:**

bonjour

**MaNGo:**

ni hao

**Superbaby:**

Hey

**yeoyeoman:**

dammit babe you broke the chain

**Superbaby:**

Konichiwa, fuckers

**Mars:**

Language 

**yeoyeoman:**

💗💗

**joong:**

so?

we all good now, kids?

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah we’re good

**ooohyoung:**

getting there :)

the longer i spend not talking to san the better i feel

**yeoyeoman:**

thought you weren’t gonna lie anymore

**ooohyoung:**

fake it til you make it isn’t exactly a lie

**yeoyeoman:**

valid

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**Superbaby:**

Hey hyung

Feels good changing your name back from “Professor Shitbox”

**ooohyoung:**

feels pretty sweet not being professor shitbox, i gotta say

what’s up?

**Superbaby:**

I want us to be honest with each other now

Good and bad

**ooohyoung:**

i do too, jongho

for real

**Superbaby:**

Well

In that light

I feel it’s my duty to tell you that San is…

How can I say this

Sad As Fuck All The Time Now

**ooohyoung:**

i thought you guys barely saw each other since you work opposite shifts

**Superbaby:**

I’m doing some extra night shifts over winter break

Having a super hot boyfriend ain’t cheap, you know

**ooohoyoung:**

i suppose not

but

jongho

total honesty really doesn’t need to include updates about san

he’s out of my life

it’s better for both of us

**Superbaby:**

See

I’m not entirely sure it is

I’m sure you believe it is, for the record

I’m sure you believe you’re telling the truth

But like, literally?

I’ve never seen someone quite so good at moping as San

That guy really has an authentic pout

Anyway

The point is

I do think you need time apart for sure

A lot of bad shit went down

But I just

I don’t want you to completely write him off

**ooohyoung:**

jongho

when i asked you to befriend him

i didn’t mean you had to stick up for him in all future situations

**Superbaby:**

Well

He’s my friend now

And I’ll stick up for him

He was so much happier when you were dating

**ooohyoung:**

we were never dating

**Superbaby:**

I told you stop lying

**ooohyoung:**

to you and the other guys

no one ever told me to stop lying to myself

**Superbaby:**

Wooyoung

Just

Just don’t put him in the never ever again box

That’s all I’m saying, okay?

I won’t bring it up again for a while

**ooohyoung:**

a long while, i hope

**Superbaby:**

What a vague request

Seems totally up to my interpretation

🙃

**ooohyoung:**

i have regrets.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> STRAP IN, LADS. THE TIME HAS COME.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

are you up?

**Superbaby:**

Yeah

You okay?

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s like 2am

go to sleep :(

**Superbaby:**

You messaged me just to tell me to go to sleep?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

but why are you still awake?

**Superbaby:**

Idk

It’s kinda hard to sleep by myself now I guess

I get more used to you being here every time you sleep over

**yeoyeoman:**

babyyyyyy

that’s so cute :(

you make me so soft, ugh

it’s the worst

**Superbaby:**

Is it really the worst?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i love it

i

i kinda love you, or whatever

**Superbaby:**

...Really?

**yeoyeoman:**

shit

um

ignore that

i didn’t want that to be the way i said it for the first time

i’m sorry

i’m such a mess haha

why do you even put up with me

**Superbaby:**

Because I love you too.

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho...

**Superbaby:**

Yeosang

**Superbaby:**

...Yeosang?

**yeoyeoman:**

sorry i

i got kinda speechless and i’m blushing and

**Superbaby:**

Good :)

**yeoyeoman:**

will you say it to me again when i see you tomorrow?

**Superbaby:**

I’ll say it as many times as you want me to.

**yeoyeoman:**

💖💖💖💖💖

**Superbaby:**

So what did you actually want to talk to me about?

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

it’s okay

i don’t want to ruin the conversation now

**Superbaby:**

Baby, you messaged me at 2 in the morning

Obviously it was important

Talk to me

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

i

i want to tell you what happened between me and san

**Superbaby:**

Oh

No

**yeoyeoman:**

what?

**Superbaby:**

I said no

**yeoyeoman:**

that… doesn’t seem very boyfriend-like

not letting me get things off my chest

**Superbaby:**

I’m not the person who needs to hear what happened, sweetheart

It isn’t to do with me

Telling me won’t fix any problems

**yeoyeoman:**

i know but

i need a trial run?

**Superbaby:**

No you don’t

**yeoyeoman:**

aren’t you curious??

**Superbaby:**

I’m not

It was over two years ago

Before we even met

**yeoyeoman:**

so you think i should just go right to wooyoung?

**Superbaby:**

Yes

He’s the one who deserves that information

**yeoyeoman:**

but

without practicing on you first

what if i say it all stupid?

**Superbaby:**

You won’t

You’ll say it how it needs to be said

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

**yeoyeoman:**

thank you

**Superbaby:**

For?

**yeoyeoman:**

believing in me

**Superbaby:**

It’s more important to me that you believe in yourself

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m starting to

thanks to you

**Superbaby:**

I’m glad :)

Now go tell Wooyoung what happened

**yeoyeoman:**

i will

i’ll go right now

he’s probably still awake

**Superbaby:**

Good luck 💓

**yeoyeoman:**

💓

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hi

i need to talk to you

i need to tell you something i should have told you a long time ago

**ooohyoung:**

right now?

**yeoyeoman:**

i know you weren’t sleeping

**ooohyoung:**

i might have been!

**yeoyeoman:**

right

how far down the box of sad oreos are you

**ooohyoung:**

...half

alright fine

what did you need to tell me?

should i come over?

**yeoyeoman:**

no omg

if i have to do it in person i’ll just start crying and get all snotty and i won’t be able to finish what i have to say

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

this sounds really serious and i’m worried

you’re okay, right?

**yeoyeoman:**

yes, i’m okay

i want to tell you what happened between san and i

the reason i asked you to come to this university

**ooohyoung:**

...that was because of san??

**yeoyeoman:**

yes

can i just

please?

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t know if i’m really ready

everything is still pretty raw

but okay

**yeoyeoman:**

you need to know

you deserve to know and it’s my fault for not wanting to make it your problem too

or anyone’s

i tried to deal with it by myself and it made me all weird and annoying

**ooohyoung:**

you’re not annoying

**yeoyeoman:**

can i just

start

**ooohyoung:**

go ahead.

**yeoyeoman:**

so um

i met san pretty much right at the beginning of freshman year

we had a class together

intro to psychology

and

god

we became friends so fast

really good friends

like

we just _got_ each other right away

so of course i did the me thing and got a huge crush on him within like a week

i thought he didn’t feel the same, of course

you know

my

self esteem or whatever

**yeoyeoman:**

are you still there?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

i didn’t know if i was supposed to be interjecting

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

you don’t have to

just please don’t leave until i get this out

**ooohyoung:**

i promise i won’t

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

well

anyway

it turned out that he was at least attracted enough to me to want to fuck me

so

we did that, i guess

just once

it was

amazing

obviously you know that

he’s

**ooohyoung:**

let’s not go down that path please

**yeoyeoman:**

sorry

sorry

i know

so it was amazing and i was so crazy about him, wooyoung

just completely infatuated and falling

and when i woke up the next morning

he was gone.

no note or text or anything

he just left

**ooohyoung:**

maybe he had somewhere to be?

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t know

i just

i felt so shitty after that

i felt unwanted

not good enough for more than one night

i spent so long dreaming about my first time and how romantic and special it would be

and it wasn’t

i mean i guess it was while it was happening

but after

it wasn’t like that at all

it was…

i don’t know, humiliating

**ooohyoung:**

you lost your virgnity to san?? did you tell him that??

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i was afraid to

i didn’t want him to know i wasn’t experienced

i didn’t want him to… i guess… change his mind about me

but he did anyway

he got what he wanted and then he left

he didn’t say anything to me at all

he didn’t come to our class a couple days later

he just shut me out

so i did the same to him

i blocked his number and avoided him

i sat all the way on the other side of the room from him in intro to psych

**ooohyoung:**

he didn’t try to explain himself at all?

**yeoyeoman:**

a couple weeks later i guess he tried

he would find me where i couldn’t really tune him out and try to give me these fake apologies

fake tears

he just wanted more sex, i’m sure

even if it was bad

i was probably just embarrassing myself trying to keep up with him that one time

**ooohyoung:**

jesus

**yeoyeoman:**

anyway, it was another month or so before i decided that maybe i was being unfair and i should have given him more of a chance

so i tried to apologize to him

i don’t know what i thought i was apologizing for

he was the one who left

but

i went to his dorm and tried to talk to him

and basically he answered the door half naked and there was another guy in his bed

i could see him

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

i’m so sorry

**yeoyeoman:**

i didn’t even make it back down the hall before i started crying

went home and buried myself under my pillows and blankets and didn’t come out for days

when i did

everything was different

suddenly everyone was talking about san

everyone was fucking san

he didn’t have a reputation before that

but after…

i couldn’t go anywhere without seeing him flirt his way into someone’s pants or hear someone gossiping about how good he was in bed

**ooohyoung:**

dude that’s so fucking rough

i don’t even know what to say

**yeoyeoman:**

please

i’m almost done i promise

**yeoyeoman:**

so um

i kind of had a breakdown i guess

it’s so fucked up and upsetting that it was over a dumb boy

he was just one boy but honestly it kinda destroyed me

i quit caring

quit going to classes

flunked two of my midterms

i almost quit school entirely

but in the end i called you instead

**ooohyoung:**

i remember that conversation

yeosang

you should have told me then

**yeoyeoman:**

i couldn’t

i honestly just couldn’t

i was so ashamed about the whole thing

i just needed you

i needed my best friend

and you came

**ooohyoung:**

of course i did

it’s not like i was doing anything

everyone else went off to university and i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life

i was just treading water at community college

my god

i was taking a ceramics class

ceramics!

**yeoyeoman:**

i hope you don’t regret that you transferred

or what happened after

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t regret coming to be here for you at all

i missed you

and now i have awesome friends and an actual major

**yeoyeoman:**

that does help

**ooohyoung:**

so you haven’t spoken to san at all since then? since before i transferred?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

and he hasn’t spoken to me

and he kept sleeping around

until you, i guess

i’m still fuzzy on the timeline, but i stopped hearing rumors months ago

**ooohyoung:**

i guess

it doesn’t really matter anymore

especially not now that i know what happened between you

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

well

no one stays the same forever

**ooohyoung:**

you just told me that whole story and now you’re trying to tell me maybe he’s changed?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i don’t know

i’m just

wordsing

**ooohyoung:**

lol ok

**yeoyeoman:**

promise you’re not mad at me?

**ooohyoung:**

i’m a little pissed that you waited until now to tell me

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s valid

**ooohyoung:**

but no, i’m not mad at you

i get why you waited

in the context of you it makes sense

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s reassuring

i think

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m trying to be different now

to be more open about things

jongho has been helping me

he probably doesn’t even realize how much

**ooohyoung:**

jongho’s good for you

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

it’s a little disturbing

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang

not everything has to be sarcastic

you don’t have to counteract good feelings with irony

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s a work in progress, okay

**ooohyoung:**

okay

**yeoyeoman:**

can i ask you a question?

**ooohyoung:**

do i have to answer honestly?

**yeoyeoman:**

yes

**ooohyoung:**

sounds terrible

go for it

**yeoyeoman:**

do you miss san?

**ooohyoung:**

of course i do

but maybe i just miss what i thought he was

maybe he was never really that

i don’t know

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m sorry

**ooohyoung:**

me too

sorry i got fooled by a fuckhat

**yeoyeoman:**

woo…

**ooohyoung:**

shhhh

this is a totally healthy coping mechanism

**yeoyeoman:**

i just want you to know that

i miss him too sometimes

he was good to be around

before

he made me feel happy

**ooohyoung:**

well

it’s not before anymore

this is after

we are in the end times

**yeoyeoman:**

and they call ME an edgelord.

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**yeoyeoman:**

hi

so

i talked to wooyoung

and it went decently

so naturally i'm about to tank all that with some very poor decision making

so uh

yeah

cool

hope you're sleeping well, babe x

**yeoyeoman:**

i love you

**_hi san_ **

_Unblock_ **_sanshine?_ ** _[_ **_Yes_ ** _or No]_

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _added_ **_sanshine_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

hi

it’s yeosang

it’s been… a while.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_hi san_ **

**sanshine:**

hi

sorry it took so long for me to answer

i wasn’t sure if i wanted to

*******

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

**sanshine:**

yeah

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

hi

**sanshine:**

hi

**yeoyeoman:**

hi

**sanshine:**

is 

is this all you wanted?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i’m

i’m really nervous, i’m sorry

**sanshine:**

i am too.

**yeoyeoman:**

what i wanted was

i wanted to find out if

i wanted to know if i

**sanshine:**

did wooyoung put you up to this?

**yeoyeoman:**

holy shit no

he has no idea i messaged you

**sanshine:**

i didn’t know, you know

that you were friends

we never even got to those conversations

you and i

it didn’t 

it didn’t have anything to do with that

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

he doesn’t even know what happened

i think that maybe

i don’t even know what happened anymore

**sanshine:**

what, like you forgot?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i didn’t forget

i just think that maybe i was wrong

about some of it

**sanshine:**

oh

**yeoyeoman:**

so i messaged you because i wanted to know

how much of it i was wrong about

**sanshine:**

it’s not going to change anything, yeosang.

**yeoyeoman:**

see, that’s what i thought at first

but now

i don’t know

i’m not very sure anymore

about anything

**sanshine:**

i don’t understand.

**yeoyeoman:**

would you please

just

tell me what happened?

like

from your perspective?

**sanshine:**

yeosang, i’m really busy right now

**yeoyeoman:**

no you aren’t

you wouldn’t have replied if you were

if you didn’t want to

i don’t know

talk

**sanshine:**

maybe i would have

i’m pretty bad at self preservation sometimes

well

i was good at it for a while

until wooyoung

**yeoyeoman:**

san.

please?

just do me this one favor and then we don’t have to talk ever again if that’s what you want

**sanshine:**

i thought that’s what _you_ wanted.

**yeoyeoman:**

please.

**sanshine:**

i

fuckin

alright.

fine.

where should i start

**yeoyeoman:**

i guess like

the lead up

to

**sanshine:**

that night

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah.

**sanshine:**

well i mean

what do you want to know?

**yeoyeoman:**

i want to know if

if it was just me

**sanshine:**

if what was just you?

**yeoyeoman:**

if i was the only one that

fuck

give me a minute

i’m scared

**yeoyeoman:**

if i was the only one that it meant something to.

**sanshine:**

…….yeosang

you were my only friend

**yeoyeoman:**

i doubt that

**sanshine:**

no, you were

i was so fucking shy when i started university

i didn’t talk to anyone

except you

and then...

you were the only person i _wanted_ to talk to

the only person i wanted to hang out with

the only person i wanted to kiss and be with

**sanshine:**

so

of fucking course it meant something to me

**yeoyeoman:**

then why

**sanshine:**

why what

**yeoyeoman:**

why did you LEAVE me?

**sanshine:**

i didn’t leave you

**yeoyeoman:**

yes you did

you were gone when i woke up

**sanshine:**

yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

no

you were gone

you just took it and you were gone

**sanshine:**

took what?

**yeoyeoman:**

it was my first time.

**sanshine:**

...why didn’t you tell me that?

**yeoyeoman:**

oh, come on

i was fucking embarrassed about it

you seemed so confident and like you knew what you were doing and i

i didn’t want to disappoint you

**sanshine:**

in a million years

you couldn't have disappointed me.

not like that.

**yeoyeoman:**

i’d barely made out with two boys

i had no idea how to please one

**sanshine:**

yeosang.

i need you to shut up for the next forty-five seconds.

please.

**yeoyeoman:**

i

**yeoyeoman:**

okay.

**sanshine:**

just let me get through this next part.

**sanshine:**

...are you still listening?

**yeoyeoman:**

...you told me to shut up.

**sanshine:**

well

you can still make me smile, i’ll give you that.

**sanshine:**

uh

ok

anyway

look

it may have been your first time, yeosang, but

it was mine too.

**yeoyeoman:**

bullshit

**sanshine:**

i told you to

**yeoyeoman:**

shut up

i know

sorry

**sanshine:**

jesus

um

first time

yes.

anyhow

it was my first time.

not having sex

i’d been with a few girls back home before i graduated

but it was my first time kissing a boy

doing _anything_ with a boy

our whole friendship

relationship

whatever

that was the first time i realized 

realized maybe i _liked boys._

and i had no idea what the fuck i was doing

i pretended i did because i didn’t want to seem lame and useless

but you

you were my first

my first _everything._

**yeoyeoman:**

...you’re telling the truth, aren’t you

**sanshine:**

omfg

yes! 

yes

why would i lie??

**yeoyeoman:**

i

i don’t know

because you left

**sanshine:**

yeah, yeosang.

i left

i woke up next to you and you were sleeping peacefully and you were gorgeous and i just felt like i didn’t deserve you

like you should be with someone more 

someone better

someone who knew how to take care of you

**yeoyeoman:**

i wanted you.

**sanshine:**

i know.

i know, and i’m sorry

i messed up

i shouldn’t have left

**yeoyeoman:**

if you realized that

you realized that, right?

**sanshine:**

pretty much immediately

**yeoyeoman:**

then why didn’t you try to fix it?

i waited

i waited for days

weeks

i just waited for you to say something.

you didn’t even come to class.

**sanshine:**

because i was scared as hell, yeosang

that’s

that’s literally the reason

i was terrified that i’d ruined things by leaving

and i thought that if i tried to talk to you, you’d blow me off

i thought that 

since you didn’t try to talk to _me_

maybe i was wrong when i thought we both felt something

maybe it was just a one off for you

**yeoyeoman:**

it wasn’t

it was never that

i was completely in love with you.

**sanshine:**

then why

wait

you were?

**yeoyeoman:**

yes, you moron!

i was in so, so, SO deep

and then when you weren’t there

i felt

used

like you were just playing with me

even when we were just friends

i thought that was just you being nice to get me in bed

**sanshine:**

no.

i

i loved you, too.

**yeoyeoman:**

then what fucking went wrong??

okay

you got scared

you left

didn’t you like

get over it at some point and want to try again?

**sanshine:**

yeah

i did

i was still scared but i could feel that i was running out of time

so i sucked it up and went to find you one night in the cafeteria when i knew you might be there

and you were.

**yeoyeoman:**

i don’t remember this

at all

**sanshine:**

that’s because we never got a chance to talk that night

i went in and i saw you

you were all over some other dude

pressed up against him and nuzzling him and his arm around your waist

you fucking

you just moved on

just like that

in the space of like… less than two weeks, yeosang!

**yeoyeoman:**

wait

wait wait wait wait wait

in the cafeteria

nuzzling

i

san

san, NO

that was not what you saw

**sanshine:**

i like to think i’m not THAT blind.

**yeoyeoman:**

no i mean

that was legitimately

me

falling the hell apart

over you

breaking down in tears

right out in public where i couldn’t hide it from anyone

just like i’d been doing every day at that point

and my friend

my FRIEND, san

my friend seonghwa trying his best to comfort me

and sort of shield me from the room

i didn’t want to make it more obvious by running out

i just

i just wanted to be okay

and i wasn’t

i wasn’t okay

**sanshine:**

your

your friend?  
  


**yeoyeoman:**

yes!

my friend, seonghwa

he’s like my MOM

and he’s dating my other friend

he and i

no

absolutely not

i mean he’s hot and all

but

**sanshine:**

okay okay

that’s.

that’s good right there

**yeoyeoman:**

what, are you retroactively jealous again even though you now know it meant nothing?

**sanshine:**

i don’t know

i just know that

that’s when i gave up.

**yeoyeoman:**

you gave up?

just like that??

**sanshine:**

it didn’t feel “just like that”

i had tried

and you had moved on

**yeoyeoman:**

jesus christ

**sanshine:**

so i

i dropped our class

officially

and i tried to do the same

to move on

i figured that if

if we weren’t meant to be together

and you were this person i cared so deeply about and what we did meant the world to me

if it was like that and not like i thought it was going to be

then like

what the hell was the point of trying again? ever?

**yeoyeoman:**

san

we were eighteen years old

we were idiots

why would you think that

**sanshine:**

and how long did it take you to get over it?

**yeoyeoman:**

...two and a half years and maybe i’m not completely there yet

**sanshine:**

points were made

**yeoyeoman:**

so

so you decided to just fuck around

fuck everyone

**sanshine:**

yeah pretty much

i figured that if i wasn’t going to stick with anyone

i’d at least get enough experience under my belt to be

i don’t know, unforgettable?

like uh

y’know

like

**yeoyeoman:**

revenge.

**sanshine:**

i mean that’s not the word i’d use

**yeoyeoman:**

and yet it is a word

that some would

**sanshine:**

yeah okay fine

i was being a piece of shit because that whole thing just

it broke me

and then you came over that one night

when i was in the middle of

**yeoyeoman:**

someone

**sanshine:**

yeah

and 

there was no explaining it

i didn’t see any reason

like i said

i thought i’d tried and it was done

at that point i was just

way too proud to back down

**yeoyeoman:**

i guess i can

kind of get that

on some level

**sanshine:**

but i did feel really bad, yeosang

honest

about that

i asked him to leave the minute you ran off

couldn’t do it

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah i know

i was still sobbing on the stairs outside when he ran by me holding his pants and shirt

didn’t even let him get dressed, huh

**sanshine:**

i suppose i didn’t.

**yeoyeoman:**

and then i guess

along the way there was mingi and yunho

**sanshine:**

i swear i didn’t know they were your friends either

they were just more people

to take my mind off things

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s an incredibly unscrupulous way to get over someone

**sanshine:**

i never said it wasn’t

but it was going fine

until wooyoung

**yeoyeoman:**

he wasn’t just another in your long line of fucks?

**sanshine:**

he was sure supposed to be

**yeoyeman:**

that’s my best friend you’re talking about you freckled shitstain

**sanshine:**

whoa whoa whoa

can i finish

**yeoyeoman:**

yes

sorry

i’m just

i’m crying and i’m feisty and i’m a lot of things right now

**sanshine:**

join the damn club

**sanshine:**

anyway

he was supposed to be

but then he was

i don’t know, he was funny

and smart

and stubborn

and he did the opposite of everything i thought he would do

kind of like you

he didn’t just fall into bed with me like the others

and

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah i’m probably 90% of the reason he didn’t do that

you’re welcome

**sanshine:**

thanks i guess

lol

and i don’t know

i liked him

i genuinely liked him and i was interested in him 

interested in someone for the first time in forever

since you

**yeoyeoman:**

but then we fucked it all up

me and all of his friends

and him a little too

everyone fucked up

**sanshine:**

yeah

and then i made the last fuck up

i told him i was in love with him

and he bailed

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

he told me what happened

**sanshine:**

is he okay, yeosang?

i just

i just want him to be okay.

**yeoyeoman:**

lol

no

he’s not

not really

he’s pretending like he is

but he isn’t

**sanshine:**

that’s uh

familiar to me

**yeoyeoman:**

i tried to reason with him

i

of all people

i told him that people change

and that even i still miss you sometimes

i didn’t

i didn’t want him to keep having this image of you as someone i hated

i don’t think i ever really hated you.

**sanshine:**

i miss you all the time.

but now what i miss is our friendship

i miss that the most

it’s different than how i miss wooyoung.

**yeoyeoman:**

i know

and that’s okay

**sanshine:**

did you ever find someone?

i hope you have

you

you really deserve it, yeosang.

**yeoyeoman:**

i did, actually

his name’s choi jongho

you know

from the supermarket?

he’s amazing and handsome and he loves me and he can do a hundred squats with me on his back and he has the calves of a greek god

**sanshine:**

jongho?

heh

fuckin’ jongho

good for him

and good for you :)

**yeoyeoman:**

he is

**sanshine:**

i bet my arms are still better though

i bet you remember them fondly

**yeoyeoman:**

and none for san byeeeeeeeee

(but hopefully not bye for another 2.5 years?)

**sanshine:**

hopefully not :)

**_2 bros chillin in a chat room_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

you around?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

sup

**yeoyeoman:**

i just talked to san

a lot

**ooohyoung:**

what the fuck???

**yeoyeoman:**

look

i don’t want to get into the whole thing

but i just need you to know that i was wrong

i was wrong about san

everything that happened between us

it was one misunderstanding after another

i was wrong

he was wrong too

we both messed up

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t care

**yeoyeoman:**

you need to

he’s worth it

what you have together, wooyoung?

please trust me when i say that it’s worth it.

**ooohyoung:**

tell me why.

**yeoyeoman:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

no??

yeosang

**yeoyeoman:**

that’s for you and him to talk about

a wise man once told me

it isn’t to do with me

i’m not the person who needs to tell that story

**yeoyeoman:**

in so many words

**ooohyoung:**

yeo, i’m really just so tired and i’m trying so hard to get over this

please don’t make me doubt myself

**yeoyeoman:**

listen

that’s the whole point

what happened between san and i was all BECAUSE we both doubted ourselves

we had our heads too far up our asses to figure things out

i’m just

i’m not begging you

but i’m pretty close

please

for your own good

don’t do what i did

**ooohyoung:**

you won’t tell me what you did

**yeoyeoman:**

i fought the wrong battles

i didn’t believe in myself

or what he and i had

you need to do better than me.

**ooohyoung:**

why 

you ended up okay

you have jongho now

**yeoyeoman:**

i have jongho now because i finally felt like i was good enough for someone

i took a chance and put myself out there

do you really want to suffer over this for as long as i made myself suffer over san?

over something that i got almost all the way wrong?

**ooohyoung:**

no

i don’t want to suffer

that’s why i ended things

**yeoyeoman:**

just give it one more chance

give him one more chance

and if it doesn’t work out…

i don’t know, at least it’ll be off my shoulders

i’m

i’m trying to do the right thing here, wooyoung

i love you

and you’re my best friend

and you deserve to be happy

and san makes you happy

i know he does

i know he _can_

he _wants_ to

**ooohyoung:**

so what do you want me to do, yeosang?

**yeoyeoman:**

just talk to him

just let him explain himself

that’s all

**ooohyoung:**

i

fine.

i’ll do it for you.

**yeoyeoman:**

do it for yourself

that’s what’s important

**ooohyoung:**

how about we just leave it at “i’ll do it”

**yeoyeoman:**

swear

swear on your dragonball dvds

**ooohyoung:**

omg is it that serious

**yeoyeoman:**

yes.

**ooohyoung:**

...alright. fine. i swear

**yeoyeoman:**

on your

**ooohyoung:**

ON MY DRAGONBALL DVDS OH MY GOD

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW

**yeoyeoman:**

honestly?

right now?

happier than i’ve been in a long time.

i just want the same for you

**ooohyoung:**

okay, yeosang.

i believe you

**yeoyeoman:**

you don’t have to just take my word for it, you know

ask the other guys

get a popular vote

**ooohyoung:**

alright

i will

**yeoyeoman:**

good

go for it

**ooohyoung:**

right now?

**yeoyeoman:**

yes right now! no better time than the present!

**ooohyoung:**

okay

just

...two more sad oreos

**yeoyeoman:**

lol

deal.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! Y'all ready for some feels?
> 
> If you want, please check out [this Spotify playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2gqzIQEpbPSrBp4ugQNRTc?si=_fWsIBltToWMr5VrxCRSRw) I made of the songs that inspired me to write The San Predicament, and the songs I listen to while I write.
> 
> Also, I've made [a poll on Google Forms](https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScYHsKKn85fj5Cpp70_8nBH-qrDRKhqeE9DJlLo__62mljzOQ/viewform) where you all can vote for the pairing you'd like to see in the next installment of The San Predicament universe! Please check it out~
> 
> Fun trivia fact: In my original outline, San's third job was as a stripper, because that one Woosan video where they danced to "Worth It" on the Expedition tour was what originally inspired me to write this whole fic. I scrapped the idea and subplot along the way, but the song still remains in the playlist, and the number of San's jobs still remains at three :)
> 
> Let's gooooooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hi everyone

i need opinions

**Mars:**

Im here

For you specifically

But also in general

For any of you

**ooohyoung:**

ok

**uno bitches:**

mingi and i are listening

**ooohyoung:**

do you ever do anything not with each other

**MaNGo:**

no

**uno bitches:**

one time we slept at our own dorms

separately

it was terrible

**joong:**

...anyway

i’m here too

**yeoyeoman:**

woo, i didn’t mean that you had to ask for advice in the group chat

you could have done it in private rooms

**ooohyoung:**

nah

this isn’t exactly a private matter at this point

everyone knows

also i’m too nervous to repeat myself over and over

**Superbaby:**

What’s up?

**yeoyeoman:**

okay

it’s your party

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang says i should give san another chance

at least another chance to explain himself

what do you guys think about that?

**Superbaby:**

Babe I’m so proud of you 

**yeoyeoman:**

this isn’t about me

**yeoyeoman:**

but thank you 😊

**Mars:**

I think that it might be a good idea

I mean 

A lot of what happened has been about chances

Giving them

Taking them

Allowing them into your life

And you dont want to have to wonder about the what ifs forever, do you?

**ooohyoung:**

maybe i wouldn’t

**yeoyeoman:**

you would

**joong:**

you would

**ManGo:**

you definitely would

**Superbaby:**

What they said

**ooohyoung:**

okay

um

do you think we should just be friends if we can, or…?

**joong:**

or…

**ooohyoung:**

OR

**yeoyeoman:**

...supervillain partners in crime?

**ooohyoung:**

HEY

we’re not the bad guys!

we’re both good for each other!

i mean

good

just good

**Mars:**

I’m not sure that’s all you mean

**uno bitches:**

i think the first thing is what you meant

**ooohyoung:**

i hate all of you

**yeoyeoman:**

luckily for us your rage is entirely ineffectual and honestly a bit endearing

**joong:**

lmao

**ooohyoung:**

whatever

fine

i’ll

i’ll talk to him

i’ll try

who knows if he’ll even answer

**Superbaby:**

Wait, hyung

Meet me in our chat before you say anything to San

**yeoyeoman:**

oh?

**Superbaby:**

Just give me a few minutes, babe 💞

**joong:**

do the right thing, wooyoung

say the right words, jongho

i believe in u all

**Mars:**

Oddly motivational coming from you

**joong:**

honestly i feel disgusted with myself

i strive for more of a cool yet has highly questionable parenting abilities dad vibe than this

it’s my aesthetic

**uno bitches:**

bye guys

mingi and i are going to get back to ruining some lingerie now

the lingerie is on him

for clarification

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m leaving too

i have to google how to un-read a sentence and also how to get fresh vomit off a textbook page

**Mars:**

One day you two will learn to control yourselves

**uno bitches**

absolutely not

**joong:**

i raised our children right

i’m so proud

*******

**_this is just between you and me_ **

**ooohyoung:**

so what’s up?

**Superbaby:**

I just wanted to give you like

A small pep talk or something

I feel like after Yeosang, I’m the one who knows the situation best

I’m friends with you, I’m friends with San, I’m dating Yeosang

I feel qualified

**ooohyoung:**

okay

honestly i could use some optimistic words

the group chat didn’t really do it for me lol

**Superbaby:**

Lol

We never get anywhere when Mingi and Yunho are distracted

And

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

they’re always distracted

**Superbaby:**

Yeah

Anyway

I think it’s a really good idea

Talking to San

Even if you don’t get anywhere, you’ll have tried

You deserve that much and so does he

That’s the thing about this, Wooyoung

It doesn’t actually matter who got hurt worse

You or San or Yeosang

It’s not the Pain Olympics, you know?

Several chapters of the book are closed 

But more of them are still open

So it doesn’t matter about the past

It matters what comes next.

**ooohyoung:**

...shit, man

that’s

that’s beautiful

and deep

and true

**ooohyoung:**

i think yeosang was focused on the past

and i was focused on the present

and all san was thinking about was the future

i didn’t even believe in our future

but he always did

**Superbaby:**

Exactly

Exactly!

**ooohyoung:**

why couldn’t anyone else explain this to me in such simple terms

**Superbaby:**

Because

They were either too close or too far away

I’m in the middle

:)

**ooohyoung:**

thank you.

really

i don’t know what else to say

just thank you.

**Superbaby:**

It’s no problem, hyung.

Happy to help

Good luck! We’re all pulling for you

**ooohyoung:**

i know

okay i’m gonna go now

**Superbaby:**

Okay

Bye

I’ll stick around in case you need any more words of wisdom while you’re talking to San

No need to worry about me getting distracted by Yeosang in lingerie or anything, he’s studying

Also I don’t think that’s one of my kinks

Or his

I don’t THINK

**ooohyoung:**

please

there’s only so much information i need about you and my best friend

please find that middle you were mentioning

**Superbaby:**

I’ll work on it

**ooohyoung:**

great thanks

*******

_ **.** _

_Unblock_ **_sanshine?_ ** _[_ **_Yes_ ** _or No]_

**_ooohyoung_ ** _changed the chat name to_ **_let’s talk please?_ **

**ooohyoung:**

san?

are you there?

**sanshine:**

yeah.

**ooohyoung:**

wow that was fast

**sanshine:**

i happened to be looking at my phone.

**ooohyoung:**

okay

can we talk?

would that be okay?

**sanshine:**

um

give me like ten minutes?

i’m walking home from work and I don’t think i should have this conversation until i’m there

**ooohyoung:**

that’s fair

i’ll be here

i promise

**sanshine:**

okay

**_what is this_ **

**_sanshine_ ** _added_ **_Superbaby_ **

**_sanshine_ ** _sent a screenshot._

**sanshine:**

jongho

what’s happening

i don’t want to get my hopes up

**Superbaby:**

It’s okay, hyung

It’s okay to get your hopes up.

**sanshine:**

no

every time i do that i get fucked in the ass

**Superbaby:**

Language

**sanshine:**

OKAY DAD

just

does he mean it?

is this real?

**Superbaby:**

It’s real

You need to find out if he means it

You’re the only one who can make that decision

**sanshine:**

i told him i was walking home from work

and to give me ten minutes

**Superbaby:**

Lol

I guess I’m your walk home?

**sanshine:**

yes

just

i don’t know

tell me something positive about myself

i need a boost before this happens

**Superbaby:**

You made Wooyoung really happy

I know he didn’t show it often because he was trying so hard to keep everything a secret

But we could all tell

**sanshine:**

fuck

thank you

i’m really glad we’re friends, dude.

**Superbaby:**

Me too, San.

**sanshine:**

okay i’m gonna

y’know

**Superbaby:**

Go?

**sanshine:**

right

go

talk to wooyoung

**Superbaby:**

Sounds good, man

Later

**sanshine:**

YOU’RE BEING ALARMINGLY CASUAL ABOUT THIS I FEEL

**Superbaby:**

:)

**sanshine:**

sweet fucking lord

fine

bye

**_let’s talk please?_ **

**sanshine:**

alright

i’m home.

**ooohyoung:**

hi

**sanshine:**

hi

i

**ooohyoung:**

i missed you.

i missed you a lot

**sanshine:**

wooyoung, i

i want to

**ooohyoung:**

please let me go first?

**sanshine:**

okay.

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sorry, san

i’m so sorry about all of it

i’m sorry i dragged you into my lie and i’m sorry i disappeared and blocked you

i just couldn’t

right then

i couldn’t deal with it

and that’s my fault too

i just really want you to know how sorry i am, and i’m just hoping that we can work this out

can we work this out somehow?

**sanshine:**

i

i’m not sure

i don’t know

**ooohyoung:**

can we please try?

**sanshine:**

i have no idea how

do you?

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang told me he talked to you

he told me i should give this another chance

give you another chance

us

or something

**sanshine:**

he did?

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

he did

**sanshine:**

wow

that’s

i honestly 

i mean he told me he said that

that he tried to tell you

stuff, idk

i just didn’t really know if it was true

**ooohyoung:**

he told me what happened.

well

he told me his side of it

and then after he talked to you

he said those things

so i’m guessing his side was um

a little biased?

**sanshine:**

i think both our sides were.

but, wooyoung

i need you to know that i’m truly, honestly not the same person i was before i met you.

now i

i couldn’t even imagine sleeping around or trying to convince myself i didn’t care about anything at all

well

maybe i could imagine that second one a little

**ooohyoung:**

god, i hope you still care about something

otherwise i’m about to fight a losing battle

**sanshine:**

do you want to know the reason i have so many jobs, wooyoung?

**ooohyoung:**

only if you want to tell me

yeosang told me that some secrets should be just for ourselves

i didn’t really get it at the time

i didn’t believe it

but now i think it might be kinda true

**sanshine:**

it is sometimes

but not right now

i need to tell you

because it was something that i should have told you a long time ago

and it matters to me that you know

that you’re the one who knows

**ooohyoung:**

okay.

tell me.

**sanshine:**

my dad’s sick

like, really sick

he has been for years

it’s been years of doctors and hospitals and my parents have been fighting so hard to stay afloat

they couldn’t even afford to send me to university

i worked my ass off to get a dance scholarship so they wouldn’t have to worry about anything

i felt so guilty about it

leaving

leaving them to deal with everything

i still do

**ooohyoung:**

you can’t feel guilty for following your dreams, san.

**sanshine:**

trust me, i can

**sanshine:**

anyway

i work all the time

i work three jobs

**ooohyoung:**

i only really know about two

**sanshine:**

i work three jobs and i send them every penny i make

every cent

i work all the time and i run myself ragged and i still get good grades and i’m proud of that part

i found a way to make everything as good as i can for me and them too

**ooohyoung:**

i’m sure they appreciate it, san

but how are you going to sustain this for another couple years? every time we hung out, i could see how tired you are

how it affects you

i could see it through the happiness

**sanshine:**

it doesn’t matter

i can do it

i can do it for them

they’re the best example of a good relationship i have, wooyoung

they always support each other

my mom quit her job to take care of my dad

because she loves him

and he loves her

he would have done the same if the situation was reversed

and i

i want that

i want that for myself

but i was never going to get it staying at home 

i had to go

i had to come here

**ooohyoung:**

san, you can’t do all of that by yourself

you need to ask for help

**sanshine:**

from who?

wooyoung, i don’t really have any friends

i have people i know 

people who think they know me

but the only ones i ever let in further than that were yeosang

and you

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t know, just

let someone help you

**sanshine:**

i wanted so badly for yeosang and i to be like my parents are

to support each other and take care of each other

to love each other

and we did

we just

**ooohyoung:**

fucked it up.

**sanshine:**

fucked it up

and then i didn’t let anyone else in for a long time

until you

i couldn’t stop myself from falling for you and i’m sorry

i know i wasn’t supposed to

**ooohyoung:**

oh, san…

**sanshine:**

but i’m glad

i’m glad it didn’t work out for yeosang and i

it hurt like hell

but without it…

i’d never have met you

i’d never have realized that maybe i was doing everything wrong

that i needed to get my shit together and stop fucking around all the time

because someone came along that was worth it

you’re worth everything, wooyoung

**sanshine:**

and

and i

**ooohyoung:**

i love you

i love you so fucking much, san

please can we just

can we

**sanshine:**

do you mean it, wooyoung?

please

you have to mean it or else don’t do this to me

i couldn’t

i couldn’t take it if you didn’t

**ooohyoung:**

i’ve never been in love before

i thought i was once

but it wasn’t like this

it didn’t hurt in my chest every time we weren’t around each other

i didn’t want him to know everything about me

and i want you to

i want you to know everything and have everything and i

i want you so much

i didn’t even know how much

i didn’t even know i loved you until right now

**sanshine:**

yeah, well, maybe you’re not as smart as i thought you were then

**ooohyoung:**

hey

**sanshine:**

i’m kidding

**ooohyoung:**

let me help you

please.

let me give you what you deserve

everything

**sanshine:**

you’re everything.

can i have you, wooyoung?

can i have you until you get tired of me?

**ooohyoung:**

yes

god yes

i won’t get tired of you

**sanshine:**

it’ll be for real this time? i’ll be able to tell people you’re mine and i’m yours?

i’ll be able to tell everyone you’re the best thing about my whole life

**ooohyoung:**

san

just

be my fucking boyfriend already?

**sanshine:**

yes

i love you wooyoung

you know that, right?

**ooohyoung:**

i know

and i know you’re probably really tired and you just got off work but

**sanshine:**

oh

no

that was just me buying time to talk to jongho before i messaged you

i needed a hype man

**ooohyoung:**

oh

lol

fuck

**sanshine:**

you want me to come over, baby? just say the word

**ooohyoung:**

more than anything

but

i want you to rest

**sanshine:**

i couldn’t sleep now if i tried

i’m too fucking happy

**ooohyoung:**

okay

well

then will you come over and let’s not sleep?

let’s

um

**sanshine:**

shhhh

i know

i’m gonna make you feel so beautiful and perfect and loved

**ooohyoung:**

oh shut up

come say that to my face dammit

**sanshine:**

already halfway there, handsome.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HERE'S 6K OF WOOSAN SMUT I WROTE IN ONE DAY I HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT BACK OR EDITED IT JUST TAKE IT AND BE GENTLE WITH ME BYE

When Wooyoung opens the door (San only had to knock one and a half times before he flung it open, leaning into it with his shoulder like he was pressed up against the wood and waiting), he looks like an angel and San can’t quite stop the soft whimper that leaves his lips. 

_Already,_ he thinks, the thought materializing through the haze of want and lust and love. _He’s so beautiful already and I haven’t even done anything yet._

Wooyoung’s eyes are wide and wet, tears still staining his cheeks, laid delicately over the flush San can see so clearly, the one that spreads nearly down to his neck. San thinks maybe he should really count each one of Wooyoung’s long eyelashes sometime, that it might be a perfect way to fall asleep in his arms, content and sated and so unbelievably happy. But, not right now.

“Fuck,” San breathes, his voice hitching on the word, and then he reaches out and places both palms on Wooyoung’s chest, pushing him back gently, just enough so that he can kick the door closed and then they’re alone, inside, staring at each other and Wooyoung’s bottom lip is quivering and San wants so badly to kiss that quiver away. He wants to make it into something different, something infinitely better, something that will tell Wooyoung how he feels far better than his words ever could, and so he does.

Wooyoung tries to say something, maybe _hi,_ San thinks, but he doesn’t get to finish whatever it is before San is on him. He’s pushing his hands under Wooyoung’s sweater and feeling the heat of the lean muscle of his abdomen, pushing his lips onto Wooyoung’s with a desperation he hasn’t felt in years. He should be embarrassed about it, probably, but Wooyoung doesn’t let that happen. He’s kissing San back with equal fervor, fingers twisting in San’s hair and his mouth opening ever so slightly on a sigh, but it’s enough to let San inside.

He’s going to take every opportunity Wooyoung gives him tonight, San knows that much. He’s going to take everything Wooyoung _gives_ him, period, because he’s waited for so long, not just since they met, but before that, too. He’s been waiting for someone to make him feel like Wooyoung does, he’s craved that heart-stopping-brain-melting-skin-tingling sort of love, and here it is. Wooyoung is so _responsive,_ he always was, but this isn’t like before. Before, they were both careful. They were careful not to give too much of themselves away, careful not to kiss too much, too deep. Careful not to ask for more than they should.

Now, San’s asking for everything, and Wooyoung’s right there with him, stripping off his sweater and then rushing back towards San to cling to him again, and they’re kissing and kissing and San’s head almost hurts with how much he loves it all. How much he loves Wooyoung.

“I love you,” he says, because he wants to hear how the words sound out loud, rather than over text. “I love you.” 

Wooyoung lets out a choked little giggle and San watches as tears start to stick his eyelashes together again, making them sparkle in the dim light of his room. “I love you too,” he answers, looking San right in the eye when he says it, _meaning it_ with his whole heart, and San can tell he does. It makes him laugh quietly as he cradles Wooyoung’s face in both hands, thumbs brushing gently at Wooyoung’s poor blushy, damp cheeks. Wooyoung’s busy while he does that, trembling fingers trying to work at the buttons on San’s shirt, but he’s shaking too much and getting frustrated and skipping from top button to bottom button and getting nowhere, so San reaches down and squeezes his small hands and moves them away carefully. Wooyoung takes a tiny step back, and then he watches.

He watches, and San watches him as he undoes each button, one by one, taking his time. He wants to take his time with all of this, to savor it. He wants to memorize the look on Wooyoung’s face, how his gaze burns hotter when he looks at San, teeth dug into that kissable bottom lip again as more of San is revealed. When they’re left in just their jeans (sweatpants, in Wooyoung’s case), just looking at each other in amazement, Wooyoung laughs again. It’s a little steadier this time, a bit more clear.

“This feels different,” he murmurs, fingers playing with the waistband of his sweatpants. “It’s not like before.”

San smiles, letting it stretch across his face and it feels so good. It’s been a while. “No,” he agrees, running a hand through his hair quickly and pretending not to notice how Wooyoung’s shallow breaths quicken for just a moment when he does it. “It’s not like before.”

They’re standing in the middle of Wooyoung’s room. Wooyoung’s bed isn’t far behind them, but neither of them have made a move towards it yet. It’s getting late, sunset colors streaming in through the blinds of the window just above the bed, and it’s making their skin glow. San thinks Wooyoung glows all the time, really. 

“Are you glad?” Wooyoung asks next, and San raises one eyebrow, needing clarification. Wooyoung’s tiny huffed breath of impatience is endearing.

“Glad that it’s different, I mean,” he rushes out, moving his hands to untie the strings of his sweatpants.

San puts a bit of distance between them again, bending down to take off his shoes before he embarrasses himself trying to get his jeans over them in a fit of passion, or something like that, but he doesn’t break eye contact while he does. He couldn’t if he tried, anyway. How could he, when Wooyoung is here and Wooyoung is his and Wooyoung is looking at him like _that,_ want written plainly across his face. It’s on his face and between his legs, stretching the fabric of the thin sweatpants.

“I’m glad,” he answers finally, when his shoes are off and he’s tiptoeing his fingers up Wooyoung’s tanned forearms. Wooyoung’s hands have fallen away from his sweatpants, the tie forgotten in favor of sweeping his palms over San’s body, almost hesitantly, as if he thinks San might disappear at any moment. If he succeeds at nothing else tonight, San thinks, he hopes he can convince Wooyoung that he’s not going anywhere at all, except for closer to him.

The curve of Wooyoung’s spine fits in San’s palm perfectly, the small dip at the base just right for his fingers to rest on. Wooyoung shivers every time San touches somewhere new, every time he pulls Wooyoung close. He shivers, but his skin is warm sunshine in San’s hands, the sun to his moon. Perfect. San feels Wooyoung’s hands wander down again, remembering their earlier mission of getting his sweatpants off, but San makes a little noise against Wooyoyung’s lips, and he stops and they pull apart, Wooyoung looking at him a bit nervously. Like he’s going to say no. Like he could stop. San reassures him with two words. 

“Let me.”

San’s never actually seen anyone’s eyelashes flutter before, not without it being pretense or awkward flirting, but Wooyoung’s eyelashes definitely flutter when he says it, and his cheeks get pinker and San is so, so in love with him. Carefully, he undoes the tie keeping Wooyoung’s pants snug around his hips, helping him step out of them when they pool at his ankles a moment later, and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath them. San might have done well to prepare himself for that, but he didn’t. Instead, he ran all the way here, no thoughts in his head except for getting to Wooyoung as fast as he could.

So now they’re here, and Wooyoung’s standing naked and looking the slightest bit shy, and San feels overdressed, suddenly, but that doesn’t matter as much as what he needs to say right this second, what he needs Wooyoung to know, to understand beyond a shadow of a doubt.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” San whispers. “You -- your skin. Your _everything._ You’re _gorgeous,_ Wooyoung.” He’s careful to leave space between them while he speaks, because he needs the words to sink into that beautiful skin, to settle just underneath like a tattoo only he and Wooyoung can see. He needs Wooyoung to believe it.

Wooyoung rolls his eyes, chuckling and deflecting and looking away. “Nah…” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest self-consciously. It may be the one thing San rushes through for the whole evening, but he can’t bring himself to regret the speed with which he gets his own jeans unzipped, open and _off,_ his boxers along with them. He could care less about himself right now, as long as Wooyoung _understands_ by the time San’s done with whatever he’s about to do. He isn’t entirely sure how to fit all of it into a single evening, but he’s going to fucking try.

“Lay down for me,” San says softly, and Wooyoung complies right away, first curling up in a loose ball on the bed, then finally stretching out on his back when San shakes his head and rumbles _no, I want to see you, baby._ San can feel the nerves rolling off of Wooyoung in waves, the ones that were never there before, _before_ when things didn’t matter nearly as much as they do right now, and he wants nothing more than to soothe those nerves away. 

Wooyoung leaves a small space for him on the bed and San takes it. He doesn’t lay down, not yet, no matter how much his body is begging to be pressed against Wooyoung’s again, every part of San feeling him from lips to toes. Instead, he sits down and just looks at Wooyoung, looks at him until Wooyoung starts to get shy again, and then he leans down to kiss him.

It’s cheesy, San thinks as Wooyoung’s tongue explores his mouth, but that old saying about seeing fireworks when you kiss someone you love? Totally true. It’s New Year’s Eve in San’s mind, midnight and the sky a dizzying array of colors and shimmer, and when they have to break apart for air, he sees all those fireworks in Wooyoung’s hooded eyes instead, still firing just as brightly, maybe even brighter now. He starts to drop kisses everywhere he can: Wooyoung’s forehead, brushing tendrils of hair away as he goes, his cheeks with that permanent blush high on the apples, his nose, that nose San loves so much, the one that makes him so striking in profile and life-ruiningly adorable when he scrunches it up, and then a few more on his lips, when Wooyoung starts to squirm underneath him.

San looks down, and Wooyoung’s hand is between his own legs, closing around his hard, already leaking cock, and that just won’t do. Not for what San wants right now. He wants to make an absolute mess of Wooyoung, so that when they finally find their high together, the release will be that much sweeter for them both.

“Not yet, baby,” San says quietly, gently pushing Wooyoung’s hand away from his throb and then from San’s as he tries to do something, _anything,_ wriggling and whimpering in dismay, almost pouting about it.

“Why not?” Wooyoung asks, voice taking on just a tinge of a whine, and San can barely suppress a grin at just how _cute_ he is.

He strokes Wooyoung’s cheek, trying to imbue the touch with an air of some sort of authority (although he certainly has none, he would do anything Wooyoung asked him to in any other situation, honestly) as well as love, and replies. “Just let me take care of you, yeah?”

Wooyoung frowns, but lets his arms down and back to his sides obediently, grumbling something under his breath that San decides not to focus on. He has so much else right in front of him. To that effect, he turns Wooyoung over onto his belly carefully, relishing in the sweet moan that floats into the air when Wooyoung’s cock is pressed into the mattress, knowing that friction all too well himself. He decides he won’t try to stop Wooyoung from rutting against the bed if he wants to while San is otherwise occupied. A good compromise.

Wooyoung is just starting to grumble some more, San can make out bits about how he just wants San inside and how he’s needed this for so long, when suddenly all his silly complaints turn into one long, _loud_ moan as San licks a wet stripe from the nape of his neck to the cleft of his ass in one smooth motion. He looks up long enough to watch, enamored, as Wooyoung’s fingers dig into the sheets of his bed and he tries his hardest to writhe under where San now has him caged in, hovering on top with one arm on either side of Wooyoung’s face, the tip of San’s cock pressing into the small of Wooyoung’s back with gentle insistence. He keeps his victorious smirk brief, moving his arms long enough to re-situate himself further down Wooyoung’s body, grasping each firm ass cheek in one hand, allowing himself a light little spank. Just one.

It’s just one, but it makes Wooyoung yelp needily, makes him roll his hips down into the bed just like San knew he would, a small streak of curses falling from his pretty lips as San squeezes each cheek, just because he can.

“San, _please,_ ” Wooyoung begs, turning his face from where it was buried in his pillow so San can understand the words. “ _Please._ ”

“Please what, baby?” San answers, using one finger to trace down the line of Wooyoung’s backside, careful not to dip between those plush, warm globes. Not yet.

Wooyoung responds by nearly bucking himself up into San’s arms, except he doesn’t get very far because San’s using the other hand to hold him by one hip, grip not nearly tight enough to keep him from moving, but he stops anyway. As if it was automatic, ingrained in him. San’s cock is _throbbing._ He ignores it, listening as Wooyoung huffs out an annoyed breath of air.

“Please, just, _anything_ ,” he pleads, pushing his ass up again and this time San lets him, sitting back a bit. Wooyoung’s not quite on all fours, he’s still leaning on his elbows, but he’s really been so good and just the right amount of bratty so far, and San wants to indulge him.

“Mmm,” he murmurs in agreement. “Okay.”

With that, he pulls Wooyoung’s cheeks apart and the scent of him goes straight to San’s dick, with whatever’s left lagging its way to his brain, overwhelming him temporarily with arousal. “Fuck,” he grits out, letting it happen. “Fuck,” he says again, a moment later after he’s collected himself somewhat, and then he leans in for a sweet, secret kiss. 

Wooyoung’s already near to sobbing from the first lick, the first swirl of San’s tongue across his rim, his hands reaching back desperately, searching for something to anchor him until he finds San’s own, still clutching and spreading him open, and Wooyoung keeps them there, covering San's, balancing with his shoulders pressed to the bed instead as San eats him out like he’s the dessert at the end of his last meal on earth. 

They’ve never done this before. There was an unspoken agreement before that maybe it was too intimate, too much, too far, even with all the things they _did_ do. San is glad they still have firsts. He’s glad for everything right now, really: the way Wooyoung tastes, sweet and hot and _his._ The way he’s so fucking _loud,_ now, he’s not even trying to hold back anymore and every moan and sigh and cry is music to San’s ears, a song they’re writing together. San’s cock hurts so bad that it feels good. He likes this part, likes the sting of it and how it makes rainbows poke at the edges of his vision.

San can see Wooyoung’s shaft, with its angry, dark red head heavy between his legs every time he leans away to take a breath. Wooyoung’s being good, not touching. San’s proud of him, and unexpectedly (or, perhaps not, given the entire situation they’re in) emotional about it, but he doesn’t say anything yet. He’d prefer to not stop what he’s doing, not when it tastes this good, not when he can _taste_ the way Wooyoung cries out his name on his tongue just as much as he can taste _Wooyoung._

San doesn’t stop until Wooyoung starts getting impatient again, starts threatening to bend himself in half and suck him off if he doesn’t get fucked soon, and the thing is? San honestly doesn’t doubt that he could do it. He knows Wooyoung’s bendy. In any case, he stops and flips Wooyoung over with one hand, taking note of the way that simple movement makes Wooyoung even more breathless, and he’s about to crash their lips together again or hike one of Wooyoung’s legs up over his shoulder and get to what they _both_ need, when Wooyoung squeezes his arm gently and says, “Wait.”

Immediately, San backs away, separating himself from Wooyoung and giving him space, not wanting him to be upset about anything or to do anything wrong himself. But, he doesn’t get too much time to overthink everything he’s done since he entered Wooyoung’s dorm room, because Wooyoung _tsks_ and laughs and says, “I’m fine, dummy.” 

San can’t help the sigh of relief he lets out, and Wooyoung’s laugh turns throatier. He’s sitting up now, making grabby hands at San and San is helpless, so helpless when it comes to Wooyoung and pleasing him and doing everything in the whole world for him, so he goes without a second thought. When he’s just in Wooyoung’s grasp, Wooyoung looks up at him, his big eyes even bigger, laced with faux-innocence and want and a hint of amusement, and then he mumurs, softly but _insistently,_ “Want your cock n’my mouth. Wanna make you feel good too.”

Before he can think his reaction all the way through, San’s already shaking his head, telling Wooyoung he doesn’t have to, that this is about him and making him feel amazing and not to worry about San at all, but then Wooyoung just rolls his eyes and grabs, actually _grabs_ San by the dick and pulls him the rest of the way forward until he’s an inch or two into Wooyoung’s open mouth, and that’s a thing that’s never happened to San before. No one’s ever put him where they want him like this, he’s never let anyone interrupt his predetermined and consented to sexual agenda _while_ it’s being carried out. But, he supposes, Wooyoung _would_ be the one to do it.

He _would_ be the one to do it, and he’s doing a lot, he’s doing the _most_ suddenly, taking San’s length in until it hits the back of his throat, the feeling of it making San growl and Wooyoung moan around him, looking up at him the whole time. Wooyoung doesn’t look away at all, actually, as he runs his tongue over the sensitive vein on the underside of San’s cock, and suddenly San’s way closer to the edge than he wants to be, so he reaches down and tugs on Wooyoung’s hair gently, managing to gasp out a few words. “Baby, stop… don’t wanna cum like--”

He doesn’t get to finish that sentence, though, because Wooyoung lets off of him with an obscene _pop_ and grins, and San’s so fuzzy and blurry that in the light of Wooyoung’s desk lamp he looks like an angel with a damn halo, until he answers.

“Don’t worry, handsome. You’re not cumming yet.”

San truly wants to respond to him, he really does, he just can’t. He can’t because Wooyoung waits a few seconds, just until San’s orgasm has faded for the moment and he’s managed to collect some air back into his lungs, then the minute he can see it in San’s eyes he dives back in even more eagerly than before, bobbing his head and still fucking _watching_ San try like hell not to fall apart above him. He’s trying not to _fall,_ period, balanced unsteadily on his knees as they wobble and threaten to give out with each twist of Wooyoung’s fist on the rest of his cock that he can’t quite fit into his mouth while he’s doing this.

Wooyoung’s blown San before. More times than San can count, actually. But he’s never done it like this, like he’s trying to prove a fucking point, trying to show up while he still can, before San ruins him completely. Determination flashes in his eyes as he edges San once, twice more. San accidentally fucks his face for a good half a minute without realizing, so far gone he is, and Wooyoung doesn’t complain, even when San pulls away and apologizes profusely and his mouth is freed up to bitch all he wants. He just narrows his eyes and goes back down one more time. After the third time Wooyoung drives him up the cliff to his peak and then lets him hang there for a minute, before letting him fall back again, San officially can’t take any more. 

Shoving Wooyoung away (not too hard, he hopes. That’s for another time), San has him on his back again by the time he catches up to what’s happening. Wooyoung smirks up at him, breaths shaking in his chest and licking his lips. “Aww, I was having--”

This time, it’s Wooyoung who doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because while he was talking and gloating San was busy feeling under the mattress for Wooyoung’s lube and condom stash, wetting his fingers with the lube until they were dripping, and he cuts Wooyoung right off, spreading his legs wide and pushing one finger all the way inside his walls. It chokes the breath right out of Wooyoung, his eyes slamming shut as San practically _does_ bend him in half, working that finger in and out with less subtlety than he’d prefer, but Wooyoung knew what he was doing when he did all of _that._ He keeps going, watching Wooyoung’s face carefully. San knows Wooyoung’s body well, knows what he likes and where his spots are and he adds another finger carefully, probing them both a little deeper.

He finds what he’s looking for with an almost accidental (but too precise to be so, and San’s aware that Wooyoung knows that) brush of his fingers, and Wooyoung _keens_ so prettily, his hole flexing around San’s fingers and his eyes flying open, staring at San wordlessly, the telltale sheen of lust glazing over his gaze. 

San smiles down at him, resting his head against Wooyoung’s bent knee affectionately, nuzzling the soft skin there. “Hey,” he breathes, continuing to work Wooyoung open, gentler now.

“Hey,” Wooyoung murmurs, his voice faraway but his heavy-lidded eyes right there with San again, giving him an almost sleepy little grin. San knows he’s not tired, just docile. He knows he’ll match San step for step all the way through this, and San can hardly wait.

“Feel good?” he asks softly, watching his fingers scissor Wooyoung apart for a moment before turning his glance back up.

“Mmm,” Wooyoung agrees. “S’nice.”

San presses a single, smiling kiss to the inside of Wooyoung’s knee. “Good,” he says simply, slipping Wooyoung a third finger, listening to his little moans pitch up and up and go breathier and breathier, and he swears he can feel the exact second that the thread inside Wooyoung snaps and his cock starts leaking all over again, those whiny little pleas starting up one more time.

“San _please, please_ let me touch it, or you touch it, I don’t care just _touch my cock_ or get inside me or both, I can’t fucking…” He trails off with a final, broken and small whine when he realizes San’s just letting him ramble senselessly, and it makes Wooyoung pout again. “ _What,_ ” he tosses off petulantly, glaring up at San now, all traces of that sleepy, docile boy gone.

San quirks one eyebrow up. “You done?” he questions lightly. Wooyoung sighs, but nods. He’s so annoyed and it’s _so cute,_ San wants to die.

“Good then,” San says, and then he sits back on his legs and brings his free hand up to Wooyoung’s neglected cock, wrapping his fingers around Wooyoung’s swollen length and using his thumb to swirl the precum around his head and down his shaft, stroking in time with how he’s pumping his fingers, in time with how his own throb is practically vibrating, begging to be put to good use already.

What is he gonna do, say no?

Pulling his fingers away from Wooyoung and wiping them on his blankets carelessly (San will do the laundry for him later, he swears to himself), San shifts on the bed, spotting the condom he’d gotten out and plucking it up between two fingers, and he’s just bringing the small foil package up to his teeth to tear it open when Wooyoung stops him with a gentle hand on his thigh. San looks up, and Wooyoung is smiling the lopsided half-smile he only does around San, the one where it looks like he wants to put on a whole smile, but he stops midway through because he knows San _knows,_ anyway _._ It’s San’s favorite of Wooyoung’s smiles, if he’s being honest. 

Wooyoung’s smiling as he shakes his head _no,_ his hair flopping into his eyes and he looks so happy and so ready and so in love, but San has to be certain this is what he wants. That they trust each other enough, finally.

“Are you sure?” he asks gently, gauging the look on Wooyoung’s face for any traces of doubt. “I’m clean, I get tested every month, and--”

Wooyoung reaches up and pulls San’s face down for a kiss, cutting him off mid-sentence yet again. San goes easily, of course he does, melting into him and not even noticing Wooyoung’s legs wrapping around him and his hips tilting up and his body angling just so until San’s already halfway inside, that last little barrier that was always between them now gone, both physically and emotionally. When San moves away, shaking, a thin glow of sweat settling across his shoulders and down his chest, Wooyoung isn’t just smiling anymore. He’s _beaming,_ he’s the sun itself, shining just for San, and San thinks he might fucking cry about it, or something. He’s not sure if he’d even be embarrassed or not, at this point.

He’s still nestled only part of the way inside Wooyoung’s warm walls, and they’re just watching each other quietly, when San finally finds some words again.

“You’re so good for me, you know that, baby?” he whispers against Wooyoung’s parted lips, easing his cock further inside as he talks. “So good and so pretty.” Wooyoung whines softly, arching his back almost imperceptibly, but it feels like an earthquake to San and he closes his eyes, letting the pleasure fill him up from between his legs and outward, blooming in his chest and tingling in his toes. “Doing so well for me,” he continues, because he remembers this now, how this makes Wooyoung light up with satisfaction and the need to please. How it makes him cling to San even harder, with even more desperation, and it’s working again.

He strokes Wooyoung’s cock as he bottoms out inside of him, holding himself deep for as long as he can. Needing Wooyoung to feel it, feel how big and hard he’s made San, how it’s all for him. No one else. Wooyoung’s face is turned now, tucked back into the pillows but his hands are resting under each of his thighs, holding them apart for San with trembling fingers. “Fuck…” he gasps out, voice thin and reedy and his eyes shut tight as he gets used to the feeling of San again. 

“Shhh,” San soothes, petting Wooyoung’s hair reassuringly. “You’re incredible. You’re perfect,” he says, making Wooyoung let out a sob mixed with a jumbled _thank you_ as he leans into San’s touch like cat, his hips trying to roll, trying to make San move, but San returns his grip to Wooyoung’s hips for his own good, letting him get fully adjusted before they do any of that. 

It only takes a minute or so, and then Wooyoung sighs and mumbles _m’ready,_ and San really doesn’t need any more invitation than that. 

Tossing one of Wooyoung’s legs over his shoulder (San says yet another silent prayer of thanks for his flexibility), he leans over until Wooyoung really _is_ bent in half, for real this time, and then he starts to move.

San wants to go slow, he really does. He _planned_ to, even. He planned to make this part last all night if he had to, if he could. He’s pretty sure he would have had enough self control if it was anyone else, except it’s _not_ anyone else, this is Wooyoung, _his_ Wooyoung, and San’s made him wait a while already, so he lets himself lose that self control he was always so proud of until Wooyoung knocked it right out of him, and instead he uses what’s left to make sure Wooyoung’s never had it any better than this. He pounds into him hard and deep, so deep he can see it knock the breath out of Wooyoung’s lungs with every thrust, his fingers scrambling to find purchase on San’s back, but he just ends up dragging his nails down San’s skin in time with the way San’s pistoning his hips, pressing down so hard every few trips downward that San thinks he’ll feel these scratches for days, and he’s so fucking glad.

He wants to feel Wooyoung just as deep as Wooyoung can feel him, wants him to mark him up with anything he can, everything he can. He wants there to be _evidence_ that this happened, that it was the best thing in his whole entire life up to this point. San’s still thinking about that when Wooyoung stops kissing him, and he looks down at him, making sure he’s okay. The sight he’s met with might just qualify to take over for one of the seven wonders of the world.

Wooyoung’s still moaning, making breathy, lilting little sounds as he stares up at San, but, San notices, they’re getting grittier, pushing out from the back of his throat and his chest now. He’s sweaty and beautiful still, too, but there’s something different in his eyes. Something San recognizes.

_Hunger._

Before San can think about it any deeper, Wooyoung sits up with San still inside him and latches on to San’s neck with his teeth, raking his nails down San’s chest now instead, and San’s still scrambling to overcorrect their positions so that Wooyoung ends up in his lap, his sudden movements having nearly toppled them over clumsily. San doesn’t really care about that, about moments of high comedy during sex, except that he doesn’t want to mess this up. He wants to be perfect. He wants to be the version of himself that Wooyoung sees, the one that Wooyoung fell in love with. Wooyoung, who’s currently sucking love bites into his neck like his life depends on the whole world knowing San belongs to him. It’s hot as shit, and it makes San ache even more, makes him want to give Wooyoung everything until he’s milked dry.

Wooyoung lands a particularly sloppy slide of his teeth right over the vein thrumming in San’s neck with exertion, licking over it in silent apology, and San’s getting so, so close again and god help him if Wooyoung tries to take over and edge him one more fucking time. He doesn’t want that, so San holds Wooyoung even tighter as he bounces in his lap now, San meeting him thrust for thrust, and then he starts talking again. 

“I’m gonna cum inside you, baby,” San growls into Wooyoung’s ear, clenching a fistful of Wooyoung’s hair between his fingers. “Gonna fucking fill you up and make you feel so goddamn good, I promise. Fuck, you feel amazing wrapped around me, Woo.”

Wooyoung’s walls clench around him in response, and he's licking and nibbling at the shell of San's ear now, his breath hot and heavy with each gasp as he answers. “M’gonna cum too, San… fucking… I love you. I love you. I _love_ you.” He keeps repeating it, emphasizing different syllables, trying all the words out over and over and over as San holds him down and picks up the pace underneath him. He doesn’t think he’s ever gone this hard but no one deserves it more and he’s gonna go this hard every time they do this if he has to, if that’s what Wooyoung wants, and--

Wooyoung comes with a hoarse whine, painting San’s chest and belly with warm white, and San follows close on his heels, emptying splash after splash of hot cream into Wooyoung’s trembling hole. They’re not even kissing anymore, not really, more just sighing into each other’s mouths haphazardly, and San still thinks these are the best kisses he’s ever had in his life. That every kiss and every touch Wooyoung gives him is the best he’s ever had. That Wooyoung’s…

“Beautiful,” San manages to get out between ragged breaths. “So gorgeous, baby, you’re taking my cum so well.” He swallows hard before the next few words. His mouth is so dry, but he doesn’t even care. “Like I was made to fill up your tight little hole.”

He hears Wooyoung choke back a small moan from where he’s resting his head on San’s shoulder, feels him shiver in his arms. “Maybe you were,” he says in a small, tired voice, and San smiles, hugging him tighter.

They stay like that for a long while, until San’s sure he’s done, that every last drop Wooyoung wanted is inside him. Wooyoung nods off for a few minutes, lulled by the sound of San humming to him softly and the feeling of San’s palm rubbing his back. When he wakes up, San scoots them back until he can rest against the headboard of Wooyoung’s bed and hold him some more while they kiss slowly, languidly. With great exhaustion, really. Eventually, San moves to pull out of Wooyoung, but Wooyoung frowns and shakes his head stubbornly.

“Wanna sleep with you inside me,” he insists, and San can’t say no. It takes a minute, but they squirm themselves under the covers without having to part. Wooyoung’s asleep again in no time, but San stays up longer. His body is absolutely worn out, all his limbs ache and his mouth is sore from so much kissing and he will _definitely_ be feeling Wooyoung’s scratches and bites on him for days, but more than that, he’ll feel _Wooyoung._ Wooyoung will be right beside him, and it won’t be a secret anymore. Wooyoung loves him. For as much as San tried his best to show Wooyoung how much he cared, Wooyoung gave it back ten times over, San thinks. He’s the luckiest guy in the world. 

It’s that thought that lets him drift off to sleep eventually, that thought that floats through his dreams as he sleeps with Wooyoung pressed against his chest, their legs tangled together and one of San’s arms slung across Wooyoung’s waist protectively. They’ve never slept together before, not like this. Every hour or so, Wooyoung wakes up enough to rub their noses together and kiss him a little. San wonders if Wooyoung will even remember it in the morning, or if it’ll just be another part of the best dream either of them have ever had.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho
> 
> *UPDATES WEEKLY*

**_hey buddy_ **

**ooohyoung:**

hyung?

are you around?

i need a favor.

*******

**joong:**

i’m here

sorry i was

busy

**joong:**

seonghwa says hi

**ooohyoung:**

gross

**joong:**

mmm

indeed

**ooohyoung:**

ANYWAY

**joong:**

yes, anyway

a favor, you say?

i’m casually interested

**ooohyoung:**

i need you to add someone new to the group chat

someone important to me

**joong:**

wooyoung, don’t be silly

we all know we’re your only friends

:)

**ooohyoung:**

first of all i hate you

**joong:**

bad way to start but go off i guess

**ooohyoung:**

secondly

it’s my boyfriend

**joong:**

your what now

**ooohyoung:**

hold on

i’m

fuck how does mingi do these things

uh

**joong:**

now i’m just afraid

**ooohyoung:**

HOLD ON

*******

**joong:**

it’s been like ten minutes

are you dead

i continue to be extremely concerned about the addition of the word “mingi” to whatever it is you're doing

**ooohyoung:**

☆*:.｡.o(≧▽≦)o.｡.:*☆

THERE

THAT

I’M THAT

I’M KAOMOJI LEVELS OF HAPPY HYUNG

**joong:**

did it really take you that long to sort out how to do that

**ooohyoung:**

yes :(

don’t judge me :(

it was necessary :(

**joong:**

sure man

sure

so you have a spontaneous boyfriend

**ooohyoung:**

i don’t think i’d call it spontaneous

**joong:**

who is this person

where does he live

is it canada

is he your boyfriend from canada who can never visit because he’s not actually real

**ooohyoung:**

no omg

it’s san!

san is my boyfriend now!!

we! are!! BOYFRIENDS!!! NOW!!!! :D :D :D

**joong:**

holy shit how out of the loop am i

what year is it

did we get flying cars yet

**ooohyoung:**

not quite

you’re not really out of the loop

this only happened, like

yesterday

i think

wait what day is it

how long have we been in bed

**joong:**

is there an i didn’t ask for these mental pictures kaomoji

**ooohyoung:**

idk

i could probably find it if you want to wait another ten minutes

**joong:**

i don’t

just

so you guys worked things out?

does yeosang know?

is he okay with it?

am i the first person besides him you’re telling

do you love me that much uwu

**ooohyoung:**

yes

yes

yes

yes

no

**joong:**

urge to do any favors disappearing

**ooohyoung:**

oh come on hyung

please??

please just add him to the chat so he can get to know everyone else

you and hyung haven’t even ever met him

ever

don’t you want to be his friend?

he’s going to be sticking around for a while, after all

**joong:**

i only want to be his friend if he never hurts you again ever in his life or else

**ooohyoung:**

hyung, you know a lot of it was my fault too

and yeosang’s

**joong:**

i never said my loyalty was based on reality

**ooohyoung:**

that’s really nice of you but also it makes me feel a little bad

**joong:**

Good

**ooohyoung:**

okay this

this conversation has taken a weird turn

i don’t like it anymore

**joong:**

:)

**ooohyoung:**

has anyone ever told you that your single smileys make them very nervous

like

is he happy 

is this sarcasm

is he plotting my death

is he jerking off with one hand and just typing something to get by

**joong:**

you’ll never know, sport.

:)

**ooohyoung:**

i have regrets

**joong:**

so you want me to add your boyfriend to our sacred gay space

**ooohyoung:**

yes

i’ve already added him to all _my_ sacred gay spaces

iykwim

**joong:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

i think you do

**joong:**

no

**ooohyoung:**

winkwonk

**joong:**

i demand you stop

**ooohyoung:**

if i stop, will you just add him to the damn chat?

**joong:**

i was going to anyway, you idiot

give me his info

let’s do this

**ooohyoung:**

THAT’S MY FAVORITE HYUNG

**joong:**

am i really your favorite?

**ooohyoung:**

sure

**joong:**

very convincing.

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**_joong_ ** _added_ **_sanshine_**

**joong:**

ok uh

this should be interesting

**ooohyoung:**

*SHARP CLAP*

ATTENTION GAYS

INCLUDING JONGHO

**Superbaby:**

Wait

What’s happening

**Mars:**

Oh???

**uno bitches:**

oh

okay

cool, i think?

**MaNGo:**

this is weird

**yeoyeoman:**

i take it you two worked things out?

**ooohyoung:**

oh we definitely worked it out 

we worked it out four times

in a row

**yeoyeoman:**

wow

less than a minute before you made it awkward

a personal record

**ooohyoung:**

sorry

sorry sorry sorry

i'll uh

i'll start over 

**yeoyeoman:**

probably best

**ooohyoung:**

yeah

um

so

guys

this is san

most of you know him

but

he’s my boyfriend now, so

hongjoong hyung said i could add him to the chat

please be nice to him or i’ll bite all of your dicks off

**sanshine:**

am i allowed to be turned on by that, or

**ooohyoung:**

maybe uwu

**yeoyeoman:**

i’d just like to point out that you should have given us the dick biting talk before adding san

you're supposed to make them wait for the crazy

then they'll never expect it when it happens

**joong:**

and yet

**Superbaby:**

And Yet

**sanshine:**

hey jongho :)

**Superbaby:**

Sup man

**sanshine:**

yeosang :)

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s good to see you here, san

**sanshine:**

yeah?

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah

i think so :)

**uno bitches:**

hey san

it’s yunho

**MaNGo:**

and mingi

**ooohyoung:**

no one would blame you if you just thought of them as one unit

**MaNGo:**

U W U

**Mars:**

San

Im Seonghwa

Im the eldest here

So

You know

**ooohyoung:**

hyung

don’t make this weird

**Mars:**

Im not

I just want him to Know

**joong:**

babe

no need to guard dog

it’s alright

promise

**Mars:**

Sure

Everythings fine

**joong:**

STOP FLEXING HE CAN’T SEE YOU

**sanshine:**

message received

seriously

you guys don’t have anything to be concerned about with me

just let me prove it to you

**joong:**

don’t worry about it, kid

you’re good

i’m hongjoong

**sanshine:**

nice to “meet” you all :)

some of you again, i guess

how’s everyone doing today?

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**Superbaby:**

Babe? You sure you’re okay with this?

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho, i’m fine. i really am.

it’s all gonna work out

**Superbaby:**

Okay

Because like

I will not hesitate

If he even breathes at you wrong

**yeoyeoman:**

i thought you were friends :P

**Superbaby:**

Sure

We’re friend-adjacent

**yeoyeoman:**

you said you were his friend before

**Superbaby:**

But you’re my boyfriend and that’s way more important and I have no qualms about decking him

I know you could do it yourself

But it would be my pleasure

**yeoyeoman:**

no one’s going to deck him

not me or you or anyone else

but

thank you

that means a lot to me

**yeoyeoman:**

also it’s incredibly hot of you

**Superbaby:**

It is?

**yeoyeoman:**

well yeah

it’s not every day a handsome boy offers to defend my honor ;)

**Superbaby:**

I can offer more

More days

All the days

I’m just

Protective :(

You’re like, really important to me, Yeosang.

**yeoyeoman:**

and you’re cute as shit

come over

**Superbaby:**

Now? 

Shouldn’t we at least try to make conversation like civilized people?

**yeoyeoman:**

nah

fuck ‘em

they probably won’t even notice we’re gone

come overrrrrrrrr

**_yeoyeoman_ ** _sent an image file_

**Superbaby:**

…...Is that my hoodie?

**yeoyeoman:**

uh huh.

**Superbaby:**

And

And nothing else?

**yeoyeoman:**

uh huh.

**Superbaby:**

It takes seven minutes to run to your dorm

Be there in three.

**yeoyeoman:**

uh huh ;)

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

OMG you guys managed to hook up in the _coffee shop_ during _BUSINESS HOURS_ without getting caught?? teach me your ways

**MaNGo:**

yeah please, we need more spicy ideas

**uno bitches:**

always

**sanshine:**

lmao yeah

wooyoung’s thighs got a fucking workout that night

with me on his lap riding him and trying to be inconspicuous about it

sadly my break wasn’t that long but we used it well

god

now i’m just thinking about his thighs

thicc

majestic

my majestic thicc boi

**ooohyoung:**

i’m not sure we actually didnt get caught

i think your manager totally knows

**sanshine:**

eh, she won’t tell

then she’d have to hire someone new and they would never be able to make your drink right and it would all go downhill from there

**ooohyoung:**

oh yeah, i’m sure losing my business alone would tank the whole place, babe

**sanshine:**

you never know

**MaNGo:**

you guys are wild

yunho they’re coming for our crown 

we must protecc

**uno bitches:**

haha don’t worry, there’s plenty we've done that no one in here knows about

**joong:**

oh, we know

we just don’t say anything.

**Mars:**

Ive lost control of this chat somehow.

**joong:**

did you ever really have it?

no

you have five unruly children and a messy bitch of a boyfriend

control is an illusion

**Mars:**

Six

**joong:**

six what

**Mars:**

Six children

San is my child now

Its done

The children pick me, Hongjoong.

**sanshine:**

does that mean i’m like, an official part of the chat now?

**Mars:**

Yes

**joong:**

yep

**uno bitches:**

yeah you’re in for life san

sorry about that

**MaNGo:**

uwu

**ooohyoung:**

i’m so happy :(

**sanshine:**

omg are you crying

**ooohyoung:**

no

**sanshine:**

you are

i can see you even though you're trying to play it off

don’t cry baby

you know i can’t handle it...

**ooohyoung:**

i know

i’m just

i’m so glad i have you and all my friends and that we’re all together

i never thought it would happen

**Mars:**

Um

I think we lost Jongho and Yeosang a while ago

**ooohyoung:**

they’ll come back

and i’ll cry more

**joong:**

soft

**ooohyoung:**

i am soft

i’m a soft hoe

but only for san

and my best friends

**sanshine:**

and here i thought this chat was gonna be all memes and dick jokes

**uno bitches:**

we’re having an off day

**MaNGo:**

please give us another chance

**Mars:**

You dont have to give them anything, San

**ooohyoung:**

they provide all their own ammo anyway

**joong:**

disgustingly true

**sanshine:**

i’m sure one day i’ll get tired of watching them being thots for each other

but that day is not today

it's too new and shiny

we stan a healthy, horny relationship

**Mars:**

Guys

Should we all hang out or something? This feels a bit… incomplete for an induction into the group

We can do a movie night at my place

I assume none of you are busy doing anything else besides each other

**uno bitches:**

rude

we are fully clothed

because we’re out on the quad

and because mingi’s still working up the nerve to blow me behind a tree one day

**joong:**

can you selectively lobotomize thoughts or is it just a general sort of thing

**ooohyoung:**

who’s going to interrupt yeosang and jongho and invite them

**MaNGo:**

we will

we’re only a few doors away once we get back inside and get changed into our jammies

i’ll shoulder that burden for all of us

**Mars:**

A tru hero

**uno bitches:**

pretty sure he means he’s going to heroically bang on yeosang’s door on our way out and yell obscene things at the top of his lungs until they give up and answer

uwu

**sanshine:**

rip

**ooohyoung:**

great

see you guys at seonghwa’s in like half an hour?

**joong:**

contain your surprise when i reveal i am already here

**ooohyoung:**

we’ll be there after like

showering

we need

showers

**Mars:**

Shower one at a time

Less potential for distraction

I dont have all night to wait on your hormones

**joong:**

oh really

what else were you planning on doing

**joong:**

i wish i could type out the meaningful stare he’s giving me

it’s doing a lot

he’s a really good starer

**Mars:**

Thank you

**ooohyoung:**

ok bye then

**sanshine:**

bye guys! i’m looking forward to seeing everyone!

**MaNGo:**

later

**uno bitches:**

see you soon

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**Superbaby:**

Everyone say your goodbyes to Mingi and Yunho

Pay your last respects

**Superbaby:**

We were in the middle of something god dammit

**MaNGo:**

We Know

**uno bitches:**

We Know

**yeoyeoman:**

don’t get all violent, baby 😘

**Superbaby:**

...Okay.

**yeoyeoman:**

thank you

see you guys in a bit!

**joong:**

holy shit

has controlling the beast inside jongho really been that easy this whole time

you guys should have banged sooner

**Superbaby:**

Mood.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One last chaotic evening to end this story right xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> joong: Hongjoong  
> Mars: Seonghwa  
> uno bitches: Yunho  
> yeoyeoman: Yeosang  
> sanshine: San  
> MaNGo: Mingi  
> ooohyoung: Wooyoung  
> Superbaby: Jongho

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**Superbaby:**

Good morning everyone

And I do mean _everyone_

We need all hands on the chat deck right now

**Mars:**

Roll call

**joong:**

present

**uno bitches:**

henlo

**yeoyeoman:**

obviously i’m here

**sanshine:**

whutup

**MaNGo:**

(*●⁰ꈊ⁰●)ﾉ

**ooohyoung:**

if you die should we just put a bunch of obnoxious kaomojis on your tombstone

**Mars:**

If?

**ooohyoung:**

i stand by it

**MaNGo:**

¡¡¡( •̀ ᴗ •́ )و!!!

**Superbaby:**

Ok

Anyway

**MaNGo:**

ɖීීϸ

**joong:**

stop

**yeoyeoman:**

please

**sanshine:**

kill it with fire

**MaNGo:**

you guys are boring

**Superbaby:**

ANYWAY

We are gathered here today to mark a highly momentous occasion

**uno bitches:**

what is it

**ooohyoung:**

what’s the occasion

**sanshine:**

did yeosang finally let you indulge in some weird erotic fantasy we don’t know about

**Mars:**

Before you respond please note that I am eating and I wish to keep my breakfast within my stomach

**Superbaby:**

Why is everything always about sex in here

**joong:**

hormones

**Superbaby:**

And anyway Yeosang already _is_ all my fantasies, so

**yeoyeoman:**

haha gay

**Superbaby:**

See

**joong:**

i would love to go in conversational circles all day and not get anywhere, truly i would

but after seonghwa finishes his breakfast we have a shopping date, so

just

make your point

tell us where we need to be and when and why

**Superbaby:**

Where: The bar

When: Tonight

Why: It’s our Eleven Month Anniversary

**MaNGo:**

THIEVES

**uno bitches:**

uwu

**Mars:**

Are you really doing this

**yeoyeoman:**

yes

we thrive on being unoriginal and needlessly sappy

**sanshine:**

sounds like fun :) we’ll be there, right babe?

**ooohyoung:** **  
**

obviously

i wouldn’t miss my best friend’s pseudo anniversary party for anything

**yeoyeoman:**

it’s not pseudo

**Superbaby:**

It’s not pseudo

We really have been together for eleven months

I can’t believe it

**Mars:**

I want to hug everyone

**joong:**

finish eating so you can come hug me :(

**Mars:**

On it

**uno bitches:**

anyway, despite you ripping off mingi’s amazing idea

i still support this

yeosang

happy

for eleven months in a row

i never thought i’d see the day

**yeoyeoman:**

same

**ooohyoung:**

so, tonight

like

that’s at least 9 hours from now right

**Superbaby:**

Sure

**ooohyoung:**

san

if you

if you come over now

i bet we can uh

find that thing

we were looking for the other day

you know

the

thing

**sanshine:**

oh i know the thing, handsome

**joong:**

i know you guys think you’re being sneaky

**sanshine:**

we don’t

**joong:**

but you can just say you want to spend the day naked and in bed

we’re all numb to the thought of each other’s sex lives at this point

despite our protestations

**uno bitches:**

it’s true

hmm

maybe we should talk about it less?

does that seem, like

i dunno

mature, or whatever?

**yeoyeoman:**

how dare you accuse us of being actual grown ups

**ooohyoung:**

i, personally, am offended

**Superbaby:**

I’m just kinda along for the ride at this point so whatever

**sanshine:**

omw over baby

gonna help you find that thing

real hard

**Superbaby:**

A N Y W A Y

I expect everyone to be at the bar by 9pm sharp

Presents are not required but drinks are nice

And I better hear all of you tell Yeosang how handsome he looks or I’ll choke you out one by one and leave a pile of bodies on the floor for your weeping mothers to find later

**uno bitches:**

hhhhhhhhhmingi i’m

**MaNGo:**

i’m literally laying in bed next to you

i know

it’s poking me in the hip

**uno bitches:**

bye you guys

**yeoyeoman:**

you know better than to be intense and threatening and sexy around yunho, babe

**Superbaby:**

I know

I just forget sometimes

Sorry -_-

**yeoyeoman:**

💗

**Superbaby:**

💗💗

*******

**sanshine:**

i promise we’re on our way guys

we’re gonna be there in like thirteen minutes

maybe fourteen

wooyoung’s wearing a choker and i’m not okay

*******

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**yeoyeoman:**

babe

would you please just come out of the bathroom?

we’re already late for our own party

**Superbaby:**

No

I’m nervous

**yeoyeoman:**

sweetheart, it’s going to be fine

celebrating something doesn’t make that something more likely to collapse 

it’s okay to feel weird about being happy for so long but

i really want to have like many drinks with our friends right now

**Superbaby:**

What?

No

I’m not

That’s not what I’m nervous about

Are _you_ nervous about that?

**yeoyeoman:**

no

i just

that was my automatic thought

what’s

what’s going on then?

why have you barricaded yourself in there

**Superbaby:**

This shirt you picked out is sleeveless

**yeoyeoman:**

and?

**Superbaby:**

I don’t have, like, muscly muscles

I have thiccness

I am: thiqué

I look like a tree trunk

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho, you do not look like a tree trunk

i’ve seen your arms a million times

i picked that shirt so everyone else could share in my pain

**Superbaby:**

San has the kind of arms you wear sleeveless shirts with

Even Mingi does

Stupid beanpole

I’m changing again

**yeoyeoman:**

no you are not

this is the fifth outfit you’ve tried on

lemme in there

**Superbaby:**

...That thump sounded like it hurt

**yeoyeoman:**

if i have to injure myself trying to bust down this door i will

**Superbaby:**

You don’t

I’ll

I’ll come out

**yeoyeoman:**

good

i want to kiss you

**Superbaby:**

...Okay.

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**uno bitches:**

so uh

did anyone else know that jongho had

all of

that

going on

**MaNGo:**

i didn’t

**Mars:**

I always suspected

**sanshine:**

i’ve seen him lift heavy as shit boxes with one hand at work

so yes

**ooohyoung:**

yeosang loves a good strong chest

**yeoyeoman:**

i’ll kill you

**joong:**

everyone stop thirsting over the baby

**Mars:**

You first

**joong:**

your terms are unacceptable

**Superbaby:**

What the fuck did I come back to

What has happened to this chat

**yeoyeoman:**

nothing

everything is totally normal

**uno bitches:**

YOU LOOK HOT

**MaNGo:**

hes right and he should say it

**Superbaby:**

I don’t like it

Feels weird

Take it back

**uno bitches:**

no

**yeoyeoman:**

everyone just shut up and drink

ANNIVERSARY!

*******

**Mars:**

Wheres San

**joong:**

better question:

where’s wooyoung

*******

**MaNGo:**

they stole our fuck stall!

we tried to go to the bathroom and get it on but they stole it!!

**uno bitches:**

it’s okay, baby

a lot of people probably fuck in that stall

don’t worry about it

**MaNGo:**

now i’m extra worried about it

that did nothing to make me feel better

0/10 boyfriend would not recommend

**uno bitches:**

i bought you another shot, now be quiet

**MaNGo:**

i’m sorry about the 0/10 thing

i didn’t mean that

**uno bitches:**

i know

**joong:**

i really feel like yunho’s right 

at least 15% of these conversations should happen in private chat rooms

**MaNGo:**

and yet

**yeoyeoman:**

and yet.

**uno bitches:**

AND YET.

*******

**sanshine:**

i keep wanting to go up for karaoke

but jongho’s voice is so damn mellifluous

yeosang, you’re a lucky man

**ooohyoung:**

hey i’m mellifluous too man!

**sanshine:**

i know honey

**ooohyoung:**

i feel like you’re just patronizing me now

**sanshine:**

i know, honey.

**yeoyeoman:**

can i just say that it is a delight to watch you two banter

for me in particular

feels like i really _understand_ both sides, you know?

it’s just really pure and nice and soothing to my soul

**Mars:**

Okay someone get Jongho off the stage

Yeosangs philosophically drunk

**joong:**

i’m dead bro

**sanshine:**

whenever mingi and yunho get back from the bathroom they were threatening to perform a duet version of pussy control by prince

should we let that happen or 

**ooohyoung:**

we super should

and then we should put it on youtube

but

you should sing first :(

**sanshine:**

you’ve barely ever heard me sing

what if i’m terrible

**ooohyoung:**

you’re not

you’re not terrible at anything

**sanshine:**

empirically wrong but ok

**yeoyeoman:**

just go sing a song i have to make out with my boyfriend now

**sanshine:** **  
**

as you wish

*******

💕 **_boyfriends_ ** **💕**

**Superbaby:**

I’ve never done it in a shitty bar bathroom before

That was a trip

**yeoyeoman:**

sorry, i couldn’t help myself

**Superbaby:**

No, no apologies needed

Well maybe one

You ripped my shirt

**yeoyeoman:**

yeah i’m not gonna apologize for that

**Superbaby:**

Just thought I’d ask ;)

Can I come out now or is it still within the suspicion window

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho everyone knows what “going to the bathroom” means

especially when we go in pairs

you’re the one with the made up suspicion window and sense of shame

**Superbaby:**

Someone has to be morally centered in this relationship!

**yeoyeoman:**

really

**Superbaby:**

Yes

**yeoyeoman:**

felt real morally centered when you had your tongue in my

**Superbaby:**

I’M EXITING THE BATHROOM NOW

*******

**_GAYS!!!_ **

**yeoyeoman:**

i have an announcement

**yeoyeoman:**

i’m drunk

and i love everyone in this bar

i love hongjoong and seonghwa and yunho and san and mingi and wooyoung and especially especially jongho

**Mars:**

I love you too

**ooohyoung:**

i love you yeosangie

**uno bitches:**

uwu ilu

**MaNGo:**

luh u

**joong:**

love you man

i’m proud of you

i’m proud of the growth

THE GROWTH

**sanshine:**

i’m proud of you too, yeosang

and me

and wooyoung

and jongho

i love all you guys

thank you for letting me into your group

**Superbaby:**

We didn’t have a choice

**yeoyeoman:**

jongho

**Superbaby:**

I wasn’t finished

**yeoyeoman:**

oh

**Superbaby:**

Because we love you too

**sanshine:**

SOFT

this is the softest horniest chat ever

i’m so honored

and to mingi and yunho

i just wanna say

**yeoyeoman:**

uh

you might have to put a pin in that

**sanshine:**

why

**yeoyeoman:**

remove your head from the crook of wooyoung’s neck and look behind you

**sanshine:**

oh

um

**Mars:**

Its time to go.

Hongjoong? Would you like to do the honors?

**joong:**

one hundred percent no

the last time i tried to get mingi to stop dancing on the bar and carry him home

well

i mean

i failed

size difference

**Superbaby:**

I’ll get Mingi

San, you grab Yunho

**yeoyeoman:**

hey

i’m the second strongest

everyone knows it

**Superbaby:**

You’re also the second drunkest right now, baby

**uno bitches:**

can someone make me some chicken nuggets and some of that rice only mingi knows how to make when we get home

i’m hungry

also do you think we can get a whole cheesecake at this hour

san is your supermarket still open

i really want a whole cheesecake

**Superbaby:**

...Maybe third drunkest

**ooohyoung:** **  
**

i’ll answer for him

since you’re slung over his shoulder

no

we cannot get a whole cheesecake at this hour

**sanshine:**

from san via wooyoung who can understand his muttering the best: today i learned that crying makes yunho ten times heavier

do tears really add that much weight

**MaNGo:**

i feel like i’m flying

jongho is my airplane

**Superbaby:**

stop fucking texting before I suplex you into the ground

**MaNGo:**

youre texting!!

**Superbaby:**

no he’s not

if you would look around

you would see that i am clearly yeosang and not jongho

i have his phone

i’m just writing what he would say if he could text

every last one of us is a hot mess

i love it

I LOVE YOU ALL

**Mars:**

WE KNOW

**_Tired_** ** _™_ **

**Mars:**

You okay, love? Youre awfully quiet

**joong:**

concentrating on walking in a straight line and not running into anything

and thinking

**Mars:**

What about?

**joong:**

the kids

what did yeosang call the whole thing?

the san quandary?

**Mars:**

Predicament, I believe

**joong:**

right

the san predicament

ended pretty happily, don’t you think?

**Mars:**

Mmm

It did :)

**joong:**

we did good raising them

good kids

they’re good kids

**Mars:**

They are

Watch out for that--

Oh, too late.

**joong:**

i’m fine

who leaves a car parked in the middle of the road though

the Audacity

**Mars:**

Youre on the sidewalk, Joongie.

You veered into the parking spots.

**joong:**

i did no such thing

i am in control of myself

**Mars:**

Mmhmm.

**joong:**

shut up

**joong:**

i love you.

**Mars:**

I know. 💜


End file.
